Sayumi the Actress?

It would be one of my wishes came true if Sayu became a full fledged actress who starred in dramas which aren't produced by UFA and screened on prime time slots.

There was a drama which was aired on Christmas day this year in which she portrayed the evil (?) younger sister of lead actress, Ishihara Satomi. I'm guessing "Kare wa Imouto no Koibito" is about Satomi liking the lead actor but Sayu comes in and tries to steal the guy.

It seems like ever since they were kids, Sayumi had always been the pretty one, popular one, and most loved one by their parents or other people. Such a storyline would probably make viewers detest Sayu and support Satomi. Although I'm not too happy about this, but this character has been what the bunny had always portrayed and in a way, it is good that she is getting more jobs and exposure. I just hope she doesn't get too extreme negative responses for her role.

Episode 1 of Kare wa Imouto no Koibito

-----

Another drama which Sayusuke is starring in is "数学女子学園".

I'm almost positive this production is affiliated to UFA since many H!P girls make cameos. It is about the two 6th gen members being students in a school and revolves around Mathematics. Not too sure what else the drama talks about so I'll have to wait and find out.

Hmmm, didn't Sayumi once say she liked Maths the most? And since she isn't as dumb as she acts, she could emerge as the smarter one between her and Reina? Maybe ^^; Then again, Tanakacchi is the lead of MM now so that probably might not happen =(

CM for Suugaku Joushi Gakuen

Suzy - So Many Tears

This is a song that I keep playing recently. The melody is sad and so so beautiful. I feel that Suzy sang with a lot of emotions which really fit the lyrics. Who says being the face of a group means you can't sing well. The cutest neko in Miss A has proven otherwise.

FNS + The Chicken Suit

It's been a long time since MM last went on FNS. This year, they managed to secure an appearance. That's the only good news. The down side is they never got to sing since they were just 陪跳 for DMM. Maybe I should be thankful that they even got to be backup dancers considering Reina did get one line. BUT! It irks me that the H!P costume was so bad as compared to KARA and SNSD's.

Why couldn't UFA's costume designers update their skills and fashion sense? Those horrid furry garments have been in their performances since years ago! And stop letting the girls sing LM and RR21. They are 10 year old songs and the members aren't all below 14 anymore. It's ridiculous to pick such songs when MM has better music to offer.

I can't understand what the management is thinking. It really saddens to to see the other guests (especially the males ones) unable to take their eyes away from the Korean acts. I've always been a Jpop supporter and I love MM. I really hate to see how badly they are standing against the flood of Kpop groups entering the Japanese market and succeeding with mind boggling sales figures. Please Tsunku, do something right fast if you don't want MM to become a joke in the industry. Either that or graduate Risa and Sayumi so I can stop following the group. It hurts to see how much they have slided. I hope that MM can regain their former glory. I want MM to be popular again.

As if the FNS perf wasn't bad enough. What's with the crazy bright yellow chicken suit?! I know I've mentioned something about this recently but it's really too terrible to bear. It's not just the dress, it's also about the yucky chicken feet and head gear. Maybe it's a duck and not chicken but whatever it is, it's bad. Does Tsunku and UFA really think such a concept will sell? It doesn't take a genius to know it will fail. Big time. Even if MM is not compared with the Korean girl groups but with their own. They still lose to AKB in terms of song and costume. The school uniform and plaid might be dated but at least it's still somewhat hawt and provides a little bit of lolliness. May I know what fowl suits provide? It just makes people think they are selling fried chicken. Agh, stop ruining the girls like this. I think they might be embarrassed to go on shows wearing those outfits.

Aren't you supposed to be talented Tsunku? Then show me what you've got!

The Turtle's Day

Dear Eri-hime

Happy 23rd birthday!! I still miss you so, so much. If only you came back.

I hope your friends like Sayusuke and Gaki-san other than your family spent this special day with you and you will always be healthy and happy. Don't be sad over your grandpa anymore.

Loving you forever...


With best wishes,
Hammy

Heartless Cad!!

This was one of the saddest scene in the series imo. While watching, I seriously wanted to sock the guy! How could he reject Hyun Jung? And in such a cruel and heartless manner too. I can't like Pulip because she knew right from the start how much her best friend liked Baek Hyun. GRRRRR!!! To think that after HJ found out she still tried her best to be a nice friend to PL. Gah!!! Makes my blood boil! XDDDD And I keep thinking Pulip sounds like Tulip. Funny name =P

The words HJ said were so heartbreaking. Made me so sad SOBSSSSSS!!!! You aren't a burden! It's the dumbass guy who doesn't know how to cherish you.

HJ: "I'm very sorry for ever liking you." <--- This line made my heart shatter and drop to the floor. If you heard pieces of glass falling, yup, that's mine. =(....... From this sentence it's clear that HJ has given up. She has been hurt too deeply by the guy she loves and her friend. It's not gonna heal that easily =( BOO HOO HOO!!!! *cries like the rain* Lol. What?!?! I'm sentimental XDDD

This is one of the Korean ballads that I love a lot. If I remember correctly, the song title is called "Because I'm a girl." No idea what the lyrics is about but if it's talking about how because as girls, we will be depressed over relationships that don't work out, then we should all become guys since they have it so easy. Lol. And ewww at the bloodied toe! *faints* Haha just kidding. That ain't so bad, seen worse =P



Another scene that stuck in my mind was when the guy was carrying HJ to school so that they could take the exams.

BK: Are you feeling okay?
HJ: I'm feeling great... (This shouldn't be the reply as she was sick. Even if she did not want him to be worried, people would normally say, "I'm okay" or something along that line. But do you know why her reply was so??? Read on...)

HJ: ...because you are carrying me. (*BAWLS* NO!!!! This is too sad and heartwrenching!!! How could she feel great when she is ill just because he piggybacked her???! *sigh* Because she likes him that much.)

This actor somehow just rubs me the wrong way. No matter which drama he is acting in, I can't stand him =P And I'm annoyed by how Ji Yeon is always acting the party that is rejected by the guy. This makes no sense. I mean, JUST LOOK AT HER!!!! Lol. The casting is all wrong, seriously XD How can they expect me to believe any sane person would reject someone like her? Tsk XDDD

The cast of Dream High 2 is out! And yay Ji Yeon is in it. But boo that she's not the lead. She's probably gonna get the evil girl role and be the one bugging the lead guy.. She should have gotten the lead role damnit. That lead actress is so not nice *yucky face*

Storyline at Last

Hmmm I'm both excited and dreading the new DMM single. Looking forward to how UFA finally gives their group a PV with a storyline. And it's rather interesting, as it looks like a guy Rika likes has visited the nightclub where she is working at. But he entered with Kei and Koharu. She wants to confront him or something but Yuko stops her while Mari looks on.

For one, I think Rika's acting has somewhat improved, since she was really bad before =P Yuko was cool! And she could emote quite well. Mari was believable too. I wonder how Nacchi and Miki will fit into this. Makoto and Kaori too. Can Yossui be the pimp? =x Just kidding. It's kinda funny that the guy would pick Kei over Rika though. Maybe she lied about her occupation so he doesn't know she works here. But if that were true, then shouldn't she try and hide instead of going up to him?? Hmmm, so many questions.

The most intriguing portion will have to be Ai's appearance. She isn't dressed like a hostess. So is she the new girl who is on her first visit to her future workplace? Or is she here to look for someone? Perhaps one of the hostess is her sister? Or mom? =P Her outfit reminds me of High King. It's nice, I like it =) But I don't hope that they put her in the group. Being solo seems to be better for now.

And so it seems that MM's next single will have horrible costumes. And I do agree. What is that yellow thing?!?!? Unless they are gonna get a good deal promoting KFC, I seriously think they gotta change the clothes. What's wrong with the management??? Do they really think such a cover will attract buyers? OMG.... Please rectify the mistake soon! I don't want to see even more dramatic falling sales figures =(

Ji Yeon's Attitude?

Apparently there was some news about Ji Yeon being criticized for performing halfheartedly on live shows. I've seen a few of such videos and I have to admit she didn't look like she was in a good mood. Neither did she bother to smile or dance properly. Still, since we don't know what happened, we can't really judge or slam her. It's only humans to have their not so good days.

Cheer up girl! You still have loads of fans who support you despite of what antis might say.

This is one of those performances. She was still awesomely hawt and sexy though =x

Sayu's Shock?

There was this clip of Kaori talking about how Sayu she didn't turn up for practice and I saved the link for it intending to post it up as both of them had really interesting expressions. But ARGHS!! I somehow saved the wrong link and I can't find it again =(

I wonder if Sayusuke got a scolding for skipping practice. At that time she was still sorta new judging from their hair and outfits. She sure has guts to dare to not appear? Shouldn't it be Reina who is doing such things? She's the yankii no? XD

But I did find another clip of how she had this classic expression when the little girl said she liked AKB over MM. I loved how she did a double take. But man, that kid sure doesn't know a good thing when she sees one. It's Sayumin in the flesh!!!



Discovered a nice OPV of my favorite bunny. The creator is right, we can't hurry love. But oh how could anyone bear to not love this girl??! I would love her immediately ^^;

EunJi Couple

The thing about Korean OPVs is, they call it FMV (fan made video) and from what I've seen, the editing is really good. They manage to cut scenes from different shows and combine them to make it look like the 2 of them are in the same series. But most of the songs aren't really my cup of tea. Still there are ones I really love.

Like these. Beautiful and touching melody or heartbreakingly sad =(









I'm not sure if my favourite T-ara girls are called EunJi when together as I've seen variations, but I think I like this term the most. You can't believe there is a 5 year age difference between them can you? I'm guessing Eun Jung is childish hence she can get along with the much younger Ji Yeon XD


Random hilarious clip. Lee Jin already told her not to tear the tape with her teeth yet she still did it. And the funniest thing is, she obviously couldn't do it but she didn't stop. Lol. Cute.

Gaki's acting

I thought Risa did alright in her movie with Nakki where they were students who encountered some ghostly being? I loved the bit where the body splattered in front of her face and the blood splashed onto her. It was one scene where I was greatly impressed.

But I never imagined that she would improved by so much more since then. Her acting in the play was almost to the level of awesomeness. There were still some parts where she wasn't as convincing as she should be. But overall it was a job well done. I simply adore her fighting scenes. Very smooth and believable. I wonder if she practiced the moves outside of rehearsal. If so how and with whom? =P Ai-chan maybe? Just imagining them being rough with each other is... XD

The beginning was funny when the bottom of the wooden bucket flew off. Hey Gaki-san, you have comedic timing. Why not consider a career in comedy as well? =D

I've not been able to sit down properly and watch through the entire vid yet. But I know I would be impressed with the bean =) From what I've seen, she looks tiny among the rest of the cast. And she would probably end up with a sorethroat with all that screaming. I wonder what she must shout in such a low voice. And ouch when she got kicked. I hope she didn't get hurt during practice =(

Bae Suzy, Dream High

Bae isn't unheard of for a Korean surname. But somehow when it's said together with the name Suzy, it makes me think of Suzy is bae-ing. As in the horse kind =P But don't get me wrong, I quite like Suzy. She's so pretty and sweet looking. I love how she looks like the girl next door. And when she smiles with her two front teeth showing, she reminds me of an adorable bunny =D

I noticed her during "Dream High," which was the same show which made me like Eun Jung. If only the plot was about these two ending up together instead of Suzy and either guys ^^;

"Maybe" and "dreaming" are nice ballads. I know there were more nice songs in the drama, I just need to find them.

Happy birthday Ms Ham

I wanna giggle every time I see her last name. Ham...reminds me of me xD Hammy likes miss Ham Eunjung =D

Happy happy 23rd birthday!!

Is it a coincidence that I like so many idols born in 1988? Or does the year of the dragon produce more awesome idols? ^_-

Backlog of FICs + Alphabet Purses

It's been years yet I have not completed my chapter FICs >_< Pending ones include MGR, DD and Midnight. I suspect I left out more but these 3 are those I really wanna be able to have an ending. Why am I so inefficient!? Perhaps if.. didn't happen then things would have turned out differently.

But I have started thinking though DD and MGR. Maybe I can start writing them again during...
I think I know how both FICs should end. Surprisingly it's different from what I thought in the past. I guess experiences do change people and how they think?

Ganbatte yo hammy! You must must must finish these FICs. GS and GA can't be the only epic FICs from you. It would be a waste. And you need this or there will be nothing left.

I can't believe I found those purses that Ai bought for herself and Risa! The white hard canvas ones with the letters G and R printed on them. I still remember how Ai said she didn't buy the A purse as it didn't look as nice as the G. I even secretly hoped that she chose that letter cuz it represented Gaki =P I wonder what are they using them for. Make up? Most likely so. But I didn't buy it on the spot as I didn't have a use for it. But now I'm regretting as I'm afraid it will be gone if i try and find it again. And the worst part is i dont think I will go back there =( I'm regretting so much for not buying Ai's heart necklace when I could. No one understand the joy of finding something that your idols use. Unless it's similar thinking people. But those are hard to come by.

The Month of Plays

It's funny to see how Gaki doesn't bother to change the title of her blog posts when she's writing about her play. I didn't expect her to be the type to just reuse the same title. She must be pretty busy and tired on most days to resort to this.

Up till now I have no idea what it's about except that there are a lot of people involved. I'm guessing the storyline is about a group of bodyguards and how they protect the person they are supposed to keep safe? But why do these 8 bodyguards dress differently? Are they from various time periods? If that was the case, then perhaps Ai could have been one of the 8 and she could continue wearing her Sara outfit =P

Somehow I think it would be awesome if there was a play focusing on Gaki's character and Sara. The plot could revolve around how Risa was an imperial bodyguard who stumbled across and fell in love with a vampire-Sara. I know Ai is human in her play but we could always tweak it a little. And so the entire town wants to eliminate Sara due to fear and not understanding that she is a kind vampire who doesn't feed on human blood. By standing by her love, Gaki ends up being ostracized by the people and the 2 of them have to run for their lives. Of course in the process of escaping to another place where no one knows them, a lot of fighting, blood, "love scenes" must be included =P I would love to see a scene of AiGaki baring their souls (and possibly their bodies as well) to each other on stage. They wouldn't be naked for real, but some strategically positioned lighting and good nude bras would come in handy ^^;

Why couldn't UFA had come up with such a play when both AiGaki were still in H!P? Fans would be super happy to see such a production especially if a kissing scene was included. Damn, I wanna see this so bad! I like both Ai and Risa's costumes in their respective plays although the beans would have been even more epic if her boob area was more filled up xD

If only I could attend the viewing of these plays. Watching my favorite girls in the flesh would be such a treat.

Hamtop brand matchsticks and sotong brand xx xxxx. Brings back memories.

Sayu's English Level

Teehee. I don't think anyone thinks Sayumin is anything but cute singing the alphabet song this way. Somehow she sounds similar to Risa when the bean sang this song too. Do all Japanese pronounce "C" as shee? XDDD

Sayu's Secret Fantasy?

Sayu: Maasa is a very physical (touchy) person. She will be like "Michishige-san!" and then slap me on the butt.

Maimi: Doesn't Risako do that too?

Sayu: No way? I wish she would.

HAHA OMG Sayu!!! is that your secret fantasy?? I don't get what's so attractive
about Risako though =x But she was one cute kid.



Special thanks to Onlymshige for putting up the clip and translating it. Onlymshige is a really nice username. I like it =)

Mobekimasu

You know when people say kids learn better when they see both visuals and sound? That's right you know. Cuz I couldn't for the life of me remember the H!P group name until I saw the Hey!x3 episode that they went on. After the groups introduced themselves individually, their name finally stuck in my mind. I don't understand why C-ute is represented by "ki" and not "kyu" though.

Let's talk about impressions. Gaki looks good, amazingly =P Both her hair and size aka figure is nice. The only bit that made me go a little hmmmm was during the perf when she tried too hard...again ^^;

Sayumi was alright. Pretty overall but I couldn't see much of her. Not a single scene during the song at all =(

Reina seriously needs a new hairdo. She is smart to wear a garter? Too bad it wasn't as sexy as it shouldn't been. Perhaps it would have worked better if someone else had it on =x

UFA really doesn't know how to educate children. How could they put Riho in the middle of the entire mess of people???! This would make her think that she is the ace of H!P. Even if they intend to mould her as that, they shouldn't make her big headed so soon. Anyway, Airi is a more talented artiste and the kappa-chan should become the face of H!P more than Sayashi.

Miyabi's chin seems be have shrunk =x She is more beautiful now. The short bob really suits her. I like Masaa. I do. But that girl and Risako both need to go on a diet...badly. Seeing how long these two have been tipping the scales, it only goes to show how lax their management is. The girls should go through some form of Kpop girlgroup training. That way, they might become more successful =x

I'm surprised Momoko wasn't around. It couldn't have been because of age, cuz she definitely isn't that young. Did she have other job commitments? That card she drew was ultra adorable. It's surprising that she has taken over Kei as the butt of jokes. I thought such roles usually went to the non-babes? But since she's good at it and seems to be able to take it, I hope she becomes more popular after people watch her on shows.

Maimi was stunning! But somehow I kept mistaking her for Airi during the dance ^^;

Mano looked good too. Athough her skin seemed a little bad. I can't figure out why she is pretty every other time except in that Kamen Rider movie I'm so looking forward to watching. To think that movie could have given her a shot at international fame since the franchise is known overseas. *sigh* She either doesn't have the luck, or someone is out to sabotage her.

Nothing much about S/mileage except that most of the girls in this group look quite nice.

I'm more than a little shocked that I can hear quite a number of females in the audience screaming. But whatever interest the non-fans might have gotten after watching the talk segment would have flown out the window after the girls removed their outfits onstage. UFA sucks at marketing and promotion >.< If they had to include that portion, at least let the camera feature the girls doing the actual removing of costume? =P

The song is only so-so. And sales wasn't great at 54,000+. Will H!P never see the day of million copies sale again? *Sigh* Unlikely, possibly never in my lifetime =(

“笨蛋，哭什么啊？我不是还好好的吗？”

高桥温热的手附上新垣沾满泪痕的脸，小心翼翼地拭去了还未干涸的泪滴。

是不是有个人在自己心里占的位置太重要了，就会患得患失呢？

泪腺自从生命里出现高桥爱这个让自己爱惨了的人之后就变得十分发达，即使新垣一再抑制也徒劳无用。

孱弱的笑容扩散出让新垣心痛的分子，手不禁捂住胸口，任凭高桥挂着笑容的脸渐渐模糊不清。

哭泣，只是对你一个人的懦弱。

总有一天，会因为你而心痛致死。

高桥原本用来安慰新垣的笑容突然掺杂了某种一切都了于心中的意味。

“知道么，我的这里……”

高桥勉强撑起身子，手指了指自己的胸口。

“只为里沙一个人痛。”

寂寞寂寞就好 - 田馥甄

The song speaks for itself. Beautiful instrumental music and lyrics.

詞: 施人誠

曲: 楊子樸

編曲: 鍾興民

還是原來那個我 不過流掉幾公升淚所以變瘦
對著鏡子我承諾 遲早我會還這張臉一堆笑容

不算什麼 愛錯就愛錯
早點認錯 早一點解脫

我寂寞寂寞就好 這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了 想到快瘋掉
死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好 你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了 賴著不放掉
人本來就寂寞的 借來的都該還掉
我總會把你戒掉

還是原來那個你 是我自己做夢你有改變什麼
再多的愛也沒用 每個人有每個人的業障因果

會有什麼 什麼都沒有
早點看破 才看得見以後

我寂寞寂寞就好 這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了 想到快瘋掉
死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好 你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了 賴著不放掉
人本來就寂寞的 我總會把你戒掉

還是要幸福 - 田馥甄

This is the 3rd song by Hebe that I love. The first two being 替我爱他 and 寂寞寂寞就好。

曲：張簡君偉

詞：徐世珍/司魚

編曲：盧家宏、JerryC


不確定就別親吻 感情很容易毀了一個人
一個人若不夠狠 愛淡了不離不棄多殘忍

你留下來的垃圾 我一天一天總會丟完的
我甚至真心真意的祝福 永恆在你的身上先發生

你還是要幸福 你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕 別跟著我 銘心 刻骨

你還是要幸福 我才能確定我還得很清楚
確定自己再也不會佔據 你的篇幅
明天 開始 這一切都結束

還我鑰匙的備份 我覺得再見可以很單純
我甚至真心真意的祝福 永恆在你的身上先發生

你還是要幸福 你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕 別跟著我 銘心 刻骨

你還是要幸福 我才能確定我還得很清楚
確定自己再也不會佔據 你的篇幅
明天 開始 這一切都結束

你還是要幸福 你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕 別跟著我 銘心 刻骨

你如果很幸福 半夜的簡訊我就無需回覆
因為你的悲喜已經有了 容身之處 我也 能有 最純粹的孤獨

最孤獨的孤獨

最出的回忆 - 大风吹

Gomene to Mame-chan and her friends for posting non-related H!P stuff ^^;

Beautiful song. Pity I can't find the mp3 nor a video without talking =(

《最初的回忆》
作词：洪美燕
作曲：龔振良
演唱：大风吹

当熟悉变成了距离
未来被定格在原地
过去任性逃避
回忆 背弃

拼凑的画面像空气
思绪洒落零乱剧情
努力瓦解每段回忆
寻找 你的呼吸

删去全世界依然无法忘记
虽想你 谁是你

时间流逝在宇宙也不畏惧
虽唯一 只靠心感应

删去全世界依然还要重新
邂逅 爱上你
睁开眼是你
最初的回忆

The line I like the most is the last stanza and 删去全世界依然无法忘记 (Even after removing the whole world, I still can't forget).

After the touching song, here is something funny.

Me: The only show I'm chasing is 行医.

K: You like Christopher?

Me: .... *breathes* ... I like the chemistry between him and Jesseca.

It's bad isn't it, to like Jesseca and not Chris ^^; Yabai na.... >.<

Sadistic Ai

Wordpress sucks! So difficult to post on it with Aiphone. Shouldn't have been a smart Alec and used that instead of another blogspot blog.

So Ai is violent both awake and in her sleep. Who knew she was intrinsically so? Can't judge a book by it's cover ne~. From her physical appearance, she is definitely the softer and party who looks like she needs protection. I don't get it, Gaki doesn't really like Ai in "that way" does she? Then why does she take all these from her? Once again I'm baffled and impressed by the bean. Like factor raises a notch!

祝你生日快乐。

Yoshitaka Yoriko

This is bad, I'm starting to like her more and more. I don't want to end up buying her dramas and finding out those shows are all bad =x I mean, most plots don't interest me that much and I usually aren't that fond of the actors in Japanese dramas ^^; But she is just so pretty! I love her eyes, nose, lips, dimple and the way she kinda pouts. Then again, all Japanese girls pout or at least do something with their mouth. Her eyes aren't exactly huge but they are so black and pretty. Gah! Why are some girls so darn beautiful? It must be wonderful to be blessed with almost perfect features.

Still, "mioka" seems to comprise a story line I can accept. The guy isn't great but I guess I can live with it. "love shaffle" is another show that looks alright. Though I have the same opinion about the lead actor as the other show.

An incurable disease and suicidal tendencies. I like xD

Came across these words. Sounds suitable for the prologue of a fic. Maybe I'll have Yoriko star in a fic? But I'm gonna have problems including a guy. How would a MM x Yoriko fic sound? ^^;

Happy birthday to BOD. She must be enjoying herself watching Selena Gomez XD

When life is coming to an end, 当生命即将流失。。。
Will you treasure (live) each moment, 能否把握住时间。。。
Like it's the last? 珍惜仅剩的时间？

Reina bday

22 years old. It's a really young age yet Tanakacchi has been in showbiz for 8 years @@ What a veteran huh? She is of drinkable age and somehow I get the feeling that thus girl can hold her alcohol. I could be wrong though but... nah... this seems right =P

Since I don't visit her blog, I have no idea if she posts about the presents she receives. Hmmm, maybe I should pop by soon to find out?

Happy birthday to MM's only yankii for now. Who knows if any of the 10th gen members are anything like their purple and pink loving senpai xD

Yoshitaka Yoriko vs Kamei Eri & Random Ponderings

I saw an episode of Tokyo Dogs and decided I was going to continue watching it. Not because of the 2 supposed hunks in the show, but rather because of the quite cute actress. She was also born in 1988, which makes her the same age as my beloved KameMame..

At first, before I did a search on her, I thought she was at least mid to late twenties. Imagine my surprise when she was so young. Her height is 157 cm, this is really close to Eri, who is 158 cm. However, in my opinion, I find that Kame is much, much cuter than Yoriko.

I don't know if I'm biased, but I really do think so. Even in terms of body proportions, Eririn wins by a mile. And Yoriko seems to have rather thick legs as well. Still, I prefer Eri's thunder thighs. The legs of the turtle are too sexy ^^; *drools just thinking of them*

Because I think that Kame is so darn adorable, it reminds me of the age old question which I have been asking myself all these years. Which of the 3, namely Ai, Eri and Sayumi, would regular females like the most? I don't mean talent, personality or dress sense. I'm talking purely about physical attributes.

I'm inclined to think Eririn will emerge winner, judging by how many haters Ai-chan has XD Then again, minus the narcissistic character portrayer Sayu is so good at, she could be victorious. After all, she does possess awesomely silky jet-black hair. Isn't that a popular hair length and texture? Furthermore, she has the best height standing at 162 cm. She also has that lanky built that should look pretty good with most clothes on. And I love, love, love her milky white skin + those rosy cheeks of hers.

Still, Kame has a body to die (kill) for (I'm addicted to her abs). So does Ai. Yet, I'm guessing that Ai is a tad too short for the average female's taste. ^^;; I just have one issue about the turtle's body. Her toes look a little strange.

Thus in conclusion, assuming it's a package deal, meaning no swapping of heads and bodies XD Looking like Sayu...or Eri, would be a dream come through. Hmmmm...Eri?... or Sayu?? XD

MM Alohello 5

I watched the last part of Alo Hello 5. Couldn't obtain the rest of the vids due to megaupload problems again. Why can't mediafire be used? =( The jackets that Ai prepared were sweet and they were all in their respective colors. I wonder if they were all of the same size as some of the girls looked like they were swimming in it.

Ai looked good with that accessory on her head, I didn't like Risa's hair and Sayu looked pretty.

But during the portion where the members wrote letters to Ai, Risa was gorgeous. I was kinda hoping she would cry, but she didn't =( It was heartbreaking when Ai pulled her hood up and started tearing. She is so emotional and sensitive. There wouldn't be another like her =(... Only Ai-chan can look so beautiful when crying.

Sayu was adorable in her brown bikini. I loved her little skirt that went along with it. Risa's wasn't as nice. And I still don't like the bun hair. Just like how I didn't like her hair in MM's latest single. Her gold outfit was nice but the bun hair wasn't. Maybe there are people who like it but it's not my cup of tea.

Judging from their physique, it looks like Erina's is similar to Sayumi. They are fair skinned and slim but with a little fat on their tummy. Riho looks to be like Reina. The straight down body without a distinct waist. Kanon is still too chubby to really tell. Mizuki would probably be like Gaki. When she puts on too much weight she won't look good in swim wear. Aika has nice curves. Similar to Kame probably.

Can't say more about the DVD until I manage to watch the complete video. But so far it looks quite promising. I hope the pictures from the photobook are revealed soon. I'm bursting with curiosity. Especially for the AiGaki and GakiShige shots.

Jishin Motte Yume Motte Tobitatsu Kara & more Ai-chan!

I finally watched Ai-sama's solo PV and I only have one comment for it.

I LOVE IT!!!!

Whoever came up with the concept for it is a genius!! Well, it is considered one of the better ones (if not the best) PVs to come out of UFA.

First of all, Ai-chan's outfit was cool to the max. I like the spinning and glittering effect throughout the vid. It didn't make me dizzy nor did it cause Pokemon fits XD And they made her look tall inside =x This could really appeal to the fans who like androgynous female artistes. Wasn't there a girl group who debuted dressed up like guys yet they could sell bikini photobooks as well? That is some really good marketing strategy. One which UFA should really pick up on. Where's the girl on girl fan service??!

The lyrics suit Ai's situation when it was released. She was about to graduate and she loved MM. Also, she didn't know how to put her thoughts into words and the years went by until this day. Tsunku wrote this song right? He really knows her well huh.

More lyrics which I found suited our fave monkey.

That was a long time ago, I've grown up a little now
I wont show my tears, I'll just go on my journey

I'll take flight now, with confidence and dreams

Ah Im a little embarrassed to say it now Im going

But I love you and this place

When I took down the photos

I'll carry my hopes, stay hopeful

And find a way to see you again

If I fall I'll get back up

And move on to the next stage.

I'll be confident, I wont give up

May my future be bright

I adore how she couldn't pronounce "Thank you till now" and "Thank you tonight". The best touch of the PV is the photos of Ai during the various stages of her MM career. Whoever got to keep them after the shoot must be in Ai-chan heaven. So many photographs and with Takahashi being such a photogenic beauty, one can be sure they will mostly be incredible pictures to collect.

They should have given a DVD with the PV for the version which had Ai on the single cover. That would surely boost sales and at the same time it provides a great memento for all of her fans to cherish.

She really likes plastic frames and that hat huh? I always wondered how she keeps it at that angle without it falling off? Clips? But how? Hmmmmm. Those fans who wrote those messages are really sweet. I was kinda expecting Ai-chan to start tearing. Her voice did sound a little off at some points. Maybe she was really touched, like how I was too. *sniff*

I don't know how she manages to make the hat and glasses match the somewhat casual outfit. I guess she's a true star huh? Possessing the ability to make anything look good.

Why do AiGaki have hair that grows so quickly? I like how Risa curled her hair in e latest pics on her blog. It looks almost exactly like the awesome hairstyle she had when singing 'best friend' except for the darker shade. I wonder how many Mickey related tops she has. Seems like a lot.

I dread but am also curious to see Sayu's latest pb.

Sayuminglandoll which has the full name of "land of sleeping with a Sayumi doll" is gonna be released on 27 Oct. When I first read that it would feature shots of Sayu being all doll-like, I was quite excited to see what this pb had to offer. I had expected it to be better compared to the usual pb. But when the cover was revealed, I was disappointed. Despite her having a great figure, and though I still love her milky skin and pinchable tummy, I found that the image didn't suit her. In short, it wasn't a nice cover to me. It didn't make me want to purchase it =( Also, in recent blog entries, Sayumi didn't look as good as she normally does. I'm not sure it is her nose or eyes. But something seems to be different. I hope it's just my small phone monitor giving me a false impression and that the bunny really isnt any different from her usual gorgeous self.

I missed posting on Risa's birthday! I hate myself for that. And I hated that Thursday. In my mind I was thinking it would be ironic to have a death anniversary on the same date as my Idol's birthday. Ai-chan and Sayu both wished her happy birthday. She met up with Eri for a meal. I don't know why the company doesnt allow Kame's pics to be on their blogs. But at least she posted up the present that the turtle gave her. A Pooh-chan cushion! A weird selection but since it's Eri I guess that's understandable. Does Gaki like Pooh bear? I wanna know what everyone else gave Risa! Im also curious as to how she spent the day. Did she go on a date with a special someone?

Maki Goto and Tsuji Nozomi appeared on DMM's concert. And Nakazawa Yuko made a funny comment to the wotas. "You guys sure didn't make as much noise when it was only the 9 us." xD So I take it that Maki is still super popular in the eyes of the old fans. Does this mean she will make a comeback under UFA? After all she is no longer with Avex. Another news about her is she became a lingerie model. Hmmm, she did get more curvy and top heavy since xxxx year. I'm not sure when the transition began.

Miracle-chan caught stomach flu. Was it really due to stale rice? I'm glad she alright now. That isn't an enjoyable illness.

I like Eripon. I can't believe I would feel anything for 9th gen let alone like someone from this generation. But reading about Eripon always being worried that the other members didn't like her stirred something inside me. I don't know if she made the first move to be closer to Risa or did the bean try and include this kouhai more to ensure that she didn't feel so insecure. Either way, the blog pics that came out of it are really cute. I also love how Pon Pon uses her own money to buy Gaki merchandise. It reminds me of how Gaki-san too bought MM goods in the past with her own money even when she was already in the group. Would this pairing with a 9 year age gap work as well as AiGaki or KameMame? Only time will tell...

Loving You Forever

"1,2,1,2. Yes that's the way. Now from the top."

As we returned to our starting positions, I stole a glance at the mirror and saw her reflection. Coincidentally, she chose the same time to look up and our eyes met. Winking at me, she grinned, our secret signal that we will both work hard at the dance steps until we broke for lunch.

Satisfied with her encouragement, I took a deep breath and concentrated. Determined to nail the entire routine before the dance instructor pointed out my mistakes.

"Alright, we'll stop here for now. After lunch, we will start with the second half of the concert songs."

"Hai~! Arigatou."

"You've worked hard!"

After thanking the teacher, everyone started packing up their belongings and heading out of the studio. Similarly, I gathered up my towel and hung it around my neck. Stuffing my jacket into my bag, I zipped it close and got up from my kneeling posture on the wooden floor.

Scanning around the room, I looked for my best friend as we would always go for meals together. Noticing her near the corner, I was about to walk over to her when the manager intercepted my plan.

"Michishige, I need to talk to you about the change in tomorrow's schedule."

Although reluctant, I could not go against the manager's wishes. Catching her gaze, I bowed apologetically.

It's okay. I'll meet you in the dressing room later.

She flashed me an understanding smile and motioned for me to quickly follow the manager before I got an unnecessary nagging.

Some time later, I was the only person left in the room as everyone had gone on for lunch in the cafeteria. Sitting alone in front of the dresser, I glanced repeatedly at my cellphone and wondered why she hadn't appeared. Did she get stopped along the way to discuss about work too?

Mulling over whether I should message or call her, my thumb hovered above the dial button, worried that I might interrupt an important meeting.

At this moment, the door swung open and I turned around in my chair, filled with anticipation at seeing the person I was waiting for. Instead of her, it was someone else.

"Ehhh, why are you still here Sayusuke? Have you had your lunch?"

"Gaki-san? Have you seen Eririn? She was supposed to meet me to take our meal together."

Staring back at me with her eyes wide and a shocked expression on her face, Risa came towards me and placed both hands on my shoulders. Massaging them gently, she said.

"Have you forgotten, Eri isn't with us anymore. She graduated last year."

At her words, time seemed to stop and the room fell silent as I took in what she had just said.
Isn't with us... graduated...

"B-ut..but...but I saw her just now! During rehearsal!"

Bending down and wrapping her arms around my torso, Risa snuggled her face in the nook of my neck.

"It's okay to miss her. We all do."

Raising one hand to pat me on the head, my senpai continued.

"Let's ask her out this Thursday. We can go for breakfast, shopping and a movie after. What do you say?"

I couldn't respond to the suggestion as I had started crying, my voice choking up and my body trembling with the effort it took to keep my sobbing down.

After I had regained enough composure to speak, I looked up at Risa's concerned face and asked her a question.

"Do you think we will grow apart? Will she forget me?"

Stroking at my fringe, Gaki-san reassured.

"She most definitely won't forget you. This is Kame we are talking about."

Tugging at a piece of tissue from the nearby tissue box, she dabbed at my tears and teased.

"Sayusuke is the ichiban kawaii right? How can you go around with swollen eyes? I'll accompany you to wash up then we'll join Ai-chan for lunch. Sound good?"

This time I managed to nod a reply. Just as Risa was about to straighten her back and stand upright again, I threw both arms around her neck and pulled her near.

"Arigatou Gaki-san."

My voice was drowned out from speaking into the front of her tracksuit but I guessed she still heard me as she helped me up from the chair and pushed away slightly to look into my reddish eyes.

"Anytime Sayusuke."

As we approached the exit, I looked over my shoulder to stare at the mirror. And once again, I saw the person I couldn't live without smiling back at me while mouthing a sentence.

Loving you forever.

"Me too Eririn. Forever..."

Miori Takimoto is pretty! Looks good as a guy and grew up so much since Sweets. I wish Ai-chan got the role. It would have been awesome. It's interesting to imagine Gaki as Ren, Sayu as Shu and Kame as Yuki. Why do people always like the person who treats them badly? Shu is so much nicer and sensitive to Mio's needs as compared to Ren. I guess it's true that love is blind. It's always the not worth it people you end up liking and getting hurt because of how callous their treatment to you is. Shall go find the show. Need to see Miori on big screen!

A KameShige Story

Did Sayu say that Eri pranced around in her underwear wearing her cute mouton boots or did she say the turtle was not dressed in any garment at all while walking around in her house wearing those boots? Either way it's omg. Literally.

Do good friends look at each other's naked bodies so comfortably?! And apparently Eri herself said that she stays over at Sayu's so often she should just move in. And what about the other members thinking that their relationship is at least a little weird?

It's pretty obvious those two share an amazing and close relationship. And as much as I hate to admit it, what the bunny and turtle have surpasses that of the bean and monkey.

Looking back at their past, I think I have a rather good idea of how these girls ended up sticking together. From the temple training audition period, the 3 didn't put in as much effort as the 5th gen when it came to practicing. My guess is, Reina went in thinking that she was gonna get picked, Sayu figured that she wasn't (due to her bad singing and two left feet dancing) while Eri was just glad that she made it this far. Afterall, she was incredibly shy then. And because they didn't go in to win, they could let their guard down and make some friends.

Right from the start, Shige gravitated towards the turtle. I think Sayu made the first move to talk to Kame, considering what an introvert she was. I bet Sayumin was the type who couldn't stand being alone for too long, thus she had to pick someone to approach and make friends. Kame was the obvious choice as Reina looked every inch the yankii with dyed hair, funky earrings and a perpetual scowl.

Since Reina was the lone wolf type who couldn't stand losing and wanted so much to be lead, it was hard to be close to her. Instead, the eczema kid + kid who was bad at everything except being blessed with a cute face and rosy complexion needed each other to feel safe. Days became months which turned into years and finally they became what we see, KameShige.

Each time I watch Eri's graduation DVD, Sayu's Homey or OPVs of them, my heart breaks and I tear a bit. It's not right that they should be broken apart like this. I know that they can still meet up or call/text each other. But it's not the same as seeing each other daily. It's terribly difficult to find someone you can click with, whom you can be yourself and act without inhibitions. They found that soul-mate in each other and I hope they never lose that beautiful relationship.



Eri: Happy birthday, Loving you forever...
(I didn't expect her to say this. It touched me, I think it did the same to Sayusuke)

Sayumi: I realize I won't be able to do things or go to places because Eri was there
(This turned on the waterworks. I think life would have been worth living if you met someone like this.)

Thank you for an amazing OPV KuteKim. Please don't give up on MM.

Eri and Rina really don't look alike. Could it be that they look like either parent? That melon pan is huge! Did they make it or are they at some bread shop/cafe. Why can't Gaki-san put up proper pics of Eri? Did UFA lay such a rule? Why should it matter when Kame isn't even an artiste with another company?

Ai-chan has a new regular job. So does Sayusuke.
I'm happy for them.
What would Sayu be like as a guy?
She would most definitely be a tall, lanky and considerate boy.

小爱现在在做什么？

AiGaki's 2nd Honeymoon in Korea ~ Part 1

Thank you so much for the subbed version of Hello Time #23!!!

I enjoyed myself viewing it without subs but the entertainment level shot through the roof when I could understand what the girls were saying.

I must say that I LOVE LOVE LOVE Gaki with hair in this light shade of brown. I can't believe that I said she didn't look as good as Kame with it. After her appearance singing 'Best Friend', I totally fallen in love with her this look. It's such a pity she didn't keep it for a longer period.

Is it weird that I've dreamt of the crown Ai-chan is wearing on her head for 2 nights in a row? I even dreamt of the price! It costs $12.xx lol. I wonder where she got that. On the plane? Or a gift shop on the way out. If it's from a shop inside the Korea airport, I'm so gonna get myself one if I ever visit the land of Kimchi.

Such big bags for just a 2 day 1 night trip? These girls must need a lot of stuff when away from home. Are their bags the same design but in a different color? The pink one is cute but like Ai, I would probabaly get a color that didn't scream out ^^;

LOL at Ai feeling embarrassed after yelling out "LET'S GO!" I love how cute and duck-like she sounds while Gaki's English intonation was too perfect.

Awww, isn't it sweet how Risa knew what were the things Ai wanted to do and even thought of more fun stuff to add on? I'm so envious of their relationship.

I couldn't stop replaying this scene! It's the cutest ever!!! Gosh, I can't stop blabbering about how adorable their interaction and expressions are. Especially the bean when she pouted and looked annoyed that Ai was peeking at their itinerary XD

Karupichipul?? Lol again at Ai's way of saying that. She is so playful. This isn't a side we normally see of her. It must be because she is with Risa huh? One of the rare persons she can act so comfortably with.

Ai being all pleased with herself. She must be happy that she managed to decipher the destination. Her clapping and Risa trying to drown out that with her own "ahhhhhhhhh" makes me all fuzzy inside. AiGakiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!! I love them so so much!!!'

Tee hee hee at the eating chilli bit. It's obvious Ai watched Risa's expression before deciding that she was going to try the chilli too. I couldn't take enough screencaps to capture every moment of this wonderful scene. It's just too cute and funny! And prior to that, how the bean "offered" her wife the first bite was funny too XDDD

You are probably wondering why I took this screencap. It's cuz of Ai-chan's outfit! It almost looks like it were a PJs top =P So sexy walking around Korea in this =x

I don't know how she did it but Risa made me laugh even with the part where the owner of the stall chose to answer the phone first before settling her payment XD Oh Gaki-san, why are you so darn adorable!?!??

What is so surprising about Ai wanting to shop? Lol, sometimes Risa just asks the funniest things. Look at the furry red heart (?) pillow at the top left corner of this screencap. Why would Ai need this? To nap on the plane? They provide mini pillows no? She should have brought along her red towel instead of a red cushion =P

Boots! Boots are one of the awesomest footwear. That's a Dr Marten's aint't it?

I almost went ballistic when Risa said "HK stations are like this too." Thinking, OMG she went to HK?!?!? Then I remembered MM did travel to HK for one of their FC tours. I wonder if she visited the country again for a personal trip.

I like their bags. Coincidentally both are pink. Ai's has studs! How cool is that. And Risa's resembles a bag by Marc Jacobs. Initially I thought it was that and almost rushed to get one. Then I realized the print says something Hawaii. Did she purchase hers in Hawaii during one of the AloHello PB trips?

I thought Ai wanted it for herself. In the end it was for her sis. Somehow I can see her carrying it? ^^; I'm sure I will see this bag being sold somewhere sooner or later.

Apparently such cosmetic stuff are really cheap in Korea. My friend said people ship them back home in cartons @@

LOL! Everyone go buy it? Really, Gaki-san, how much earbuds can you use in a lifetime? XD

So thrilled by the FOC mirror. We have Etude here too. Too bad no AiGaki is shopping inside.

I still don't know what brand Risa's watch it. Anyone who knows please tell me? Although I'd much prefer the gold Mickey one that Ai gave her. And what does the black leather bracelet say? Be....what? Be mine? Did the wife give it to her? =D

Couple's watch =)

Guess what's the best part?

THIS!! Makes the pain easier to bear. I love how cute they look. And I can think of the monkey and bean whenever I see them =D

When You're Gone

The room is silent, the lights off as I sit on the floor at the foot of my bed. Tears start to slip from my eyes and slide down my cheeks. As I tilt my head downwards from looking at the space on my bed where you used to lie, I could feel the cool water land rhythmically on my thighs. I'm crying... alone. I used to feel more comfortable that no one was watching. And you knew to let me be. But now... I miss you being around. I realized that I want you here... with me. As when you are by my side, the days don't feel as long or tiresome.

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

I still remember the last time I saw you like it was yesterday. How you turned away from me with sad brown eyes. As you walked towards the exit of the dressing room in Budokan hall, I knew you were crying. I wanted so much to tell you to stop, to come back and that this wasn't the end. Yet I couldn't bring myself to say those words that I've been hiding deep within my heart.

Do you know how much I need you right now Gaki-san?

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

Now that you're gone, my heart aches with every second that I think of you. I miss your face, your breath, your everything. Why didn't I cherish the times when you would nag at me, when you showed me concern and asked if I was okay.

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

I must be crazy. As I am reminded of you wherever I go, whatever I do. In the kitchen while pouring myself a glass of water, I recall how you spilt your drink all over the counter top and on your hands when I crept up on you and poked you at your side. AI-CHANNNNNNNNNNNNNN! You would whine with the cutest pout as I grinned back at you, only able to reveal my mischievous side with you.

Pushing the crystal glass away, I left it standing on the marble surface as I dragged my feet zombie-like back to my room, the need to quench my thirst no long important. As the door swings open with a soft creak, I notice your pajamas bottom and the tank top that you last wore when you slept over lying in the corner. The green and gray screams out to me, reminding me of how beautiful you looked in them. The material accentuating your curves and taut body. Bending down to pick them up, I bring the soft cotton to my nose, breathing in deeply.

"Come back to me Risa. I was stupid to not realize sooner how perfect we were together."

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do, reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

We could read each others' minds without saying anything. You would understand what I wanted, needed with a single glance or change in expression. I guess I took it all for granted, as I never once told you how much I appreciate all that you're done for me. Perhaps I never thought a day would come when you wouldn't be there for me anymore.

I've never told you how much you mean to me, that the only reason why I could give my best on performances or live my life to the fullest was because you were there for me. I want you Risa, I need you.

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah

And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

I'm no longer like how I used to be. I'm no longer whole. A part of me has died since the day you left. It's as if I've become blind, deaf, when I can't see you or hear you on a daily basis.

I could give everything up just to hold you in my arms again, to be able to bully and smack you on the head. If I could start over, I would tell you... how much you really mean to me and that I loved you and will still love you, for the rest of my life.

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

And when you're gone
All the words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

1 more day to D-day + Evil (?) Airi

This is the best AiGaki clip in ages. I love how huge and round Ai's eyes were when Risa appeared. The smacks on the head she gave the poor bean were ultra cute. It's clear that Gaki had tears in her eyes as she looked at Ai. I love how she went to hold leader in her arms. Awwwwwwwwwww it's so sweet. I almost shed a few tears myself when Risa said it was lonely that everyone is graduating or has graduated. Though Ai says it will be alright, I doubt sub-leader fully believes it at this point. It's hard to when the most popular member and her longest comrade will be leaving tomorrow!



4:36 min Schoolgirl Ai is cuteeeeeeeeeeeeee! I love her oufit. Why does she always get the best clothes??

Damn UFA for releasing more concert goods only now (it's too freaking late damnit!) when there is no way for me to beg anyone to get them. I'm in love with Ai's solo poster and the photosets of her with Risa and Sayumi. And those heartshaped keychains!!! THEY ARE KAWAII!!!!! I NEED THEM!!!!!!!!!!!

Why am I not living in Japan =( Or better yet, why isn't MM a local group =(

-----

This new movie has Yurina as the lead and Airi in a smaller role. Is she 2nd lead? I have no idea. But boy can she pull off the evil look. Is she the evil girl in the movie?

I think it's proven that the evil expression is easiest to do that's why no matter how bad an actress someone is, they can always succeed in evil roles.

Oh yes, how are they gonna find a guy tall enough for Yurina? And is everyone else gonna have to stand on a step ladder to film scene with her? =X I wanna watch this, along with the vampire movies. Why can't local theatres scene them?

Kame Kame Kame!!!

Found a fic featuring Eri and a Kpop boy band member. I don't usually like to see the girls paired with other people outside of MM but surprisingly, I wasn't put off by this story. In fact I find it quite believable and enjoyable to read. Watching the trailer which was made for it by one of the readers of the fic, I'm both in awe and ashamed that I could never produce something of such good quality =(



I hope to discover more FICs with Kame, Gaki, Ai and Sayumi. K4 saikou always!

And I miss the turtle! How are you getting along these days Eririn? I want you back in idol world! Actress, singer or model. Anything! Just please come back soon =(...

Love's Obsession (2)

8.35 am on a Monday morning and I'm stuck in the ladies, puking my guts out. After an unidentified period of time, I flush the wc and staggered unsteadily to the sink area. The cold water makes me feel slightly better as I rinsed my mouth and splashed the liquid on my face. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I was shocked to see the extent of my pale skin. On my way back to the office, I run into another colleague who didn't belong to the 'three musketeers' I usually go for lunch break with.

"Are you okay? You look really pale."

Her words sounded echo-y and her face blurry as I blinked to combine the multiple images of her standing before me.

"I'm fine."

Forcing a smile, I sent her on her way and returned to my seat. Inside my cubicle, I take a small sip of warm water hoping that the hot drink would ease the turbulence in my stomach. Unfortunately it didn't and fresh tears threatened to slip from the corners of my eyes.

No! Not now, not here!

These words repeated themselves in my mind as I tore at a piece of tissue to dab at my eyes. I couldn't let anyone see me in such a state or they would ask me what was wrong. I didn't want to explain myself or tell them why I was being so upset. Turning my face towards the computer terminal lined up against the wall, I hid my teary eyes and prayed no one would look for me until I had significantly calmed down.

It was always the same, I would never have anyone by my side when I feel sick or depressed.

The vibration of my cellphone brought my attention to the little device and I picked it up and to read the message that had come in.

How is Kame today? Gaki saw a cute French guy at the airport! He was so gentlemanly.

It was surprising that she would send me a message out of the blue. Tilting my head sideways to glance at my desktop calendar, I realized it was Friday and she was probably on her way home from work.

Kame is unwell and wants to go home. Did you get French guy's number?

You will be knocking off soon right? Nah, Gaki doesn't like guys.

After a couple more messages, she stops replying and I figured she must have arrived home. Gaki, full name Niigaki Risa, is a straight A student. Currently she's also working at a shop set up by her college at the airport to train business students on how to run a retail store. She has to work there once a week so she usually messages me when she is on the train travelling home.

Gaki and I share a weird friendship. We don't speak a lot, as she doesn't reply to text messages often. We hardly even meet since she is a homebody who doesn't like to go out and people. Yet she somehow understands where I'm coming from and on the rare days we manage to hold a decent conversation either through Skype or text messaging, I'm usually telling her about my troubles.

"Eri, you want a lift from me?"

My thoughts were interrupted when I looked up to see the smiley face of a married colleague. Returning her a small smile, I promptly agree and began packing my belongings. Although I've not completed my work, I'm really not feeling well enough to do OT.

-----

On the journey back, the car is silent as neither of us spoke. I feel bad about not engaging in small talk but I'm really too brain dead to say anything. I'll just have to make up for her kind gesture some other time.

As she drops me off near her home, I begin walking to the nearest train station. It's packed as always and whilst I stand on the platform waiting for the next train, thoughts of her enter my mind.

~Flashback~

"Shelter yourself too!"

She says with a laugh as she tries to push my hand such that the umbrella I was supporting also shielded my torso from the falling rain. It was obvious that I had angled the brolly in a way which only kept her dry.

"It's okay. Let's walk faster, or we'll really end up drenched."

We started running towards the nearest building and in the process, our shoulders brushed against each other numerous times.

~End of flashback~

Stepping into my empty home after fighting through the crowds on the train and bus on the rest of the way home, I'm suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of nausea. Dashing for the bathroom, I throw up what little I had eaten for lunch as well as some whitish fluid streaked with red.

Great, this just never ends. Allowing my body to slip down onto the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, I leaned my back against the wall and closed my eyes.

~Flashback #2~

"What are you planning on ordering?"

She looks down at the menu in concentration and pauses for some time before meeting my eyes.

"Katsu-don?"

I chuckled at how she ended her sentence with an unsure tone and waved the server over. Once our orders were taken, we settled down and lapsed into an easy conversation. The minutes flew past and before we knew it, it was late and time for her to go home.

"Bye bye?"

Once again, her reply caused me to grin. Walking her to the train station, I watched her retreating back as she walked towards the escalator. Not realizing that it took longer than necessary for me to tear my eyes away, I turned on my heel and started on my way towards my own destination. It was only the second time without the rest, yet somehow, it felt so right.

~End of flashback~

That night she messaged me. And that was how, everything I once knew began to fall apart...