“笨蛋，哭什么啊？我不是还好好的吗？”
高桥温热的手附上新垣沾满泪痕的脸，小心翼翼地拭去了还未干涸的泪滴。
是不是有个人在自己心里占的位置太重要了，就会患得患失呢？
泪腺自从生命里出现高桥爱这个让自己爱惨了的人之后就变得十分发达，即使新垣一再抑制也徒劳无用。
孱弱的笑容扩散出让新垣心痛的分子，手不禁捂住胸口，任凭高桥挂着笑容的脸渐渐模糊不清。
哭泣，只是对你一个人的懦弱。
总有一天，会因为你而心痛致死。
高桥原本用来安慰新垣的笑容突然掺杂了某种一切都了于心中的意味。
“知道么，我的这里……”
高桥勉强撑起身子，手指了指自己的胸口。
“只为里沙一个人痛。”
Showing posts with label Fiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fiction. Show all posts
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Loving You Forever
"1,2,1,2. Yes that's the way. Now from the top."
As we returned to our starting positions, I stole a glance at the mirror and saw her reflection. Coincidentally, she chose the same time to look up and our eyes met. Winking at me, she grinned, our secret signal that we will both work hard at the dance steps until we broke for lunch.
Satisfied with her encouragement, I took a deep breath and concentrated. Determined to nail the entire routine before the dance instructor pointed out my mistakes.
"Alright, we'll stop here for now. After lunch, we will start with the second half of the concert songs."
"Hai~! Arigatou."
"You've worked hard!"
After thanking the teacher, everyone started packing up their belongings and heading out of the studio. Similarly, I gathered up my towel and hung it around my neck. Stuffing my jacket into my bag, I zipped it close and got up from my kneeling posture on the wooden floor.
Scanning around the room, I looked for my best friend as we would always go for meals together. Noticing her near the corner, I was about to walk over to her when the manager intercepted my plan.
"Michishige, I need to talk to you about the change in tomorrow's schedule."
Although reluctant, I could not go against the manager's wishes. Catching her gaze, I bowed apologetically.
It's okay. I'll meet you in the dressing room later.
She flashed me an understanding smile and motioned for me to quickly follow the manager before I got an unnecessary nagging.
Some time later, I was the only person left in the room as everyone had gone on for lunch in the cafeteria. Sitting alone in front of the dresser, I glanced repeatedly at my cellphone and wondered why she hadn't appeared. Did she get stopped along the way to discuss about work too?
Mulling over whether I should message or call her, my thumb hovered above the dial button, worried that I might interrupt an important meeting.
At this moment, the door swung open and I turned around in my chair, filled with anticipation at seeing the person I was waiting for. Instead of her, it was someone else.
"Ehhh, why are you still here Sayusuke? Have you had your lunch?"
"Gaki-san? Have you seen Eririn? She was supposed to meet me to take our meal together."
Staring back at me with her eyes wide and a shocked expression on her face, Risa came towards me and placed both hands on my shoulders. Massaging them gently, she said.
"Have you forgotten, Eri isn't with us anymore. She graduated last year."
At her words, time seemed to stop and the room fell silent as I took in what she had just said.
Isn't with us... graduated...
"B-ut..but...but I saw her just now! During rehearsal!"
Bending down and wrapping her arms around my torso, Risa snuggled her face in the nook of my neck.
"It's okay to miss her. We all do."
Raising one hand to pat me on the head, my senpai continued.
"Let's ask her out this Thursday. We can go for breakfast, shopping and a movie after. What do you say?"
I couldn't respond to the suggestion as I had started crying, my voice choking up and my body trembling with the effort it took to keep my sobbing down.
After I had regained enough composure to speak, I looked up at Risa's concerned face and asked her a question.
"Do you think we will grow apart? Will she forget me?"
Stroking at my fringe, Gaki-san reassured.
"She most definitely won't forget you. This is Kame we are talking about."
Tugging at a piece of tissue from the nearby tissue box, she dabbed at my tears and teased.
"Sayusuke is the ichiban kawaii right? How can you go around with swollen eyes? I'll accompany you to wash up then we'll join Ai-chan for lunch. Sound good?"
This time I managed to nod a reply. Just as Risa was about to straighten her back and stand upright again, I threw both arms around her neck and pulled her near.
"Arigatou Gaki-san."
My voice was drowned out from speaking into the front of her tracksuit but I guessed she still heard me as she helped me up from the chair and pushed away slightly to look into my reddish eyes.
"Anytime Sayusuke."
As we approached the exit, I looked over my shoulder to stare at the mirror. And once again, I saw the person I couldn't live without smiling back at me while mouthing a sentence.
Loving you forever.
"Me too Eririn. Forever..."
As we returned to our starting positions, I stole a glance at the mirror and saw her reflection. Coincidentally, she chose the same time to look up and our eyes met. Winking at me, she grinned, our secret signal that we will both work hard at the dance steps until we broke for lunch.
Satisfied with her encouragement, I took a deep breath and concentrated. Determined to nail the entire routine before the dance instructor pointed out my mistakes.
"Alright, we'll stop here for now. After lunch, we will start with the second half of the concert songs."
"Hai~! Arigatou."
"You've worked hard!"
After thanking the teacher, everyone started packing up their belongings and heading out of the studio. Similarly, I gathered up my towel and hung it around my neck. Stuffing my jacket into my bag, I zipped it close and got up from my kneeling posture on the wooden floor.
Scanning around the room, I looked for my best friend as we would always go for meals together. Noticing her near the corner, I was about to walk over to her when the manager intercepted my plan.
"Michishige, I need to talk to you about the change in tomorrow's schedule."
Although reluctant, I could not go against the manager's wishes. Catching her gaze, I bowed apologetically.
It's okay. I'll meet you in the dressing room later.
She flashed me an understanding smile and motioned for me to quickly follow the manager before I got an unnecessary nagging.
Some time later, I was the only person left in the room as everyone had gone on for lunch in the cafeteria. Sitting alone in front of the dresser, I glanced repeatedly at my cellphone and wondered why she hadn't appeared. Did she get stopped along the way to discuss about work too?
Mulling over whether I should message or call her, my thumb hovered above the dial button, worried that I might interrupt an important meeting.
At this moment, the door swung open and I turned around in my chair, filled with anticipation at seeing the person I was waiting for. Instead of her, it was someone else.
"Ehhh, why are you still here Sayusuke? Have you had your lunch?"
"Gaki-san? Have you seen Eririn? She was supposed to meet me to take our meal together."
Staring back at me with her eyes wide and a shocked expression on her face, Risa came towards me and placed both hands on my shoulders. Massaging them gently, she said.
"Have you forgotten, Eri isn't with us anymore. She graduated last year."
At her words, time seemed to stop and the room fell silent as I took in what she had just said.
Isn't with us... graduated...
"B-ut..but...but I saw her just now! During rehearsal!"
Bending down and wrapping her arms around my torso, Risa snuggled her face in the nook of my neck.
"It's okay to miss her. We all do."
Raising one hand to pat me on the head, my senpai continued.
"Let's ask her out this Thursday. We can go for breakfast, shopping and a movie after. What do you say?"
I couldn't respond to the suggestion as I had started crying, my voice choking up and my body trembling with the effort it took to keep my sobbing down.
After I had regained enough composure to speak, I looked up at Risa's concerned face and asked her a question.
"Do you think we will grow apart? Will she forget me?"
Stroking at my fringe, Gaki-san reassured.
"She most definitely won't forget you. This is Kame we are talking about."
Tugging at a piece of tissue from the nearby tissue box, she dabbed at my tears and teased.
"Sayusuke is the ichiban kawaii right? How can you go around with swollen eyes? I'll accompany you to wash up then we'll join Ai-chan for lunch. Sound good?"
This time I managed to nod a reply. Just as Risa was about to straighten her back and stand upright again, I threw both arms around her neck and pulled her near.
"Arigatou Gaki-san."
My voice was drowned out from speaking into the front of her tracksuit but I guessed she still heard me as she helped me up from the chair and pushed away slightly to look into my reddish eyes.
"Anytime Sayusuke."
As we approached the exit, I looked over my shoulder to stare at the mirror. And once again, I saw the person I couldn't live without smiling back at me while mouthing a sentence.
Loving you forever.
"Me too Eririn. Forever..."
Friday, September 30, 2011
When You're Gone
The room is silent, the lights off as I sit on the floor at the foot of my bed. Tears start to slip from my eyes and slide down my cheeks. As I tilt my head downwards from looking at the space on my bed where you used to lie, I could feel the cool water land rhythmically on my thighs. I'm crying... alone. I used to feel more comfortable that no one was watching. And you knew to let me be. But now... I miss you being around. I realized that I want you here... with me. As when you are by my side, the days don't feel as long or tiresome.
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
I still remember the last time I saw you like it was yesterday. How you turned away from me with sad brown eyes. As you walked towards the exit of the dressing room in Budokan hall, I knew you were crying. I wanted so much to tell you to stop, to come back and that this wasn't the end. Yet I couldn't bring myself to say those words that I've been hiding deep within my heart.
Do you know how much I need you right now Gaki-san?
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
Now that you're gone, my heart aches with every second that I think of you. I miss your face, your breath, your everything. Why didn't I cherish the times when you would nag at me, when you showed me concern and asked if I was okay.
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you
I must be crazy. As I am reminded of you wherever I go, whatever I do. In the kitchen while pouring myself a glass of water, I recall how you spilt your drink all over the counter top and on your hands when I crept up on you and poked you at your side. AI-CHANNNNNNNNNNNNNN! You would whine with the cutest pout as I grinned back at you, only able to reveal my mischievous side with you.
Pushing the crystal glass away, I left it standing on the marble surface as I dragged my feet zombie-like back to my room, the need to quench my thirst no long important. As the door swings open with a soft creak, I notice your pajamas bottom and the tank top that you last wore when you slept over lying in the corner. The green and gray screams out to me, reminding me of how beautiful you looked in them. The material accentuating your curves and taut body. Bending down to pick them up, I bring the soft cotton to my nose, breathing in deeply.
"Come back to me Risa. I was stupid to not realize sooner how perfect we were together."
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do, reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
We could read each others' minds without saying anything. You would understand what I wanted, needed with a single glance or change in expression. I guess I took it all for granted, as I never once told you how much I appreciate all that you're done for me. Perhaps I never thought a day would come when you wouldn't be there for me anymore.
I've never told you how much you mean to me, that the only reason why I could give my best on performances or live my life to the fullest was because you were there for me. I want you Risa, I need you.
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah
I'm no longer like how I used to be. I'm no longer whole. A part of me has died since the day you left. It's as if I've become blind, deaf, when I can't see you or hear you on a daily basis.
I could give everything up just to hold you in my arms again, to be able to bully and smack you on the head. If I could start over, I would tell you... how much you really mean to me and that I loved you and will still love you, for the rest of my life.
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you're gone
All the words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
I still remember the last time I saw you like it was yesterday. How you turned away from me with sad brown eyes. As you walked towards the exit of the dressing room in Budokan hall, I knew you were crying. I wanted so much to tell you to stop, to come back and that this wasn't the end. Yet I couldn't bring myself to say those words that I've been hiding deep within my heart.
Do you know how much I need you right now Gaki-san?
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
Now that you're gone, my heart aches with every second that I think of you. I miss your face, your breath, your everything. Why didn't I cherish the times when you would nag at me, when you showed me concern and asked if I was okay.
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you
I must be crazy. As I am reminded of you wherever I go, whatever I do. In the kitchen while pouring myself a glass of water, I recall how you spilt your drink all over the counter top and on your hands when I crept up on you and poked you at your side. AI-CHANNNNNNNNNNNNNN! You would whine with the cutest pout as I grinned back at you, only able to reveal my mischievous side with you.
Pushing the crystal glass away, I left it standing on the marble surface as I dragged my feet zombie-like back to my room, the need to quench my thirst no long important. As the door swings open with a soft creak, I notice your pajamas bottom and the tank top that you last wore when you slept over lying in the corner. The green and gray screams out to me, reminding me of how beautiful you looked in them. The material accentuating your curves and taut body. Bending down to pick them up, I bring the soft cotton to my nose, breathing in deeply.
"Come back to me Risa. I was stupid to not realize sooner how perfect we were together."
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do, reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
We could read each others' minds without saying anything. You would understand what I wanted, needed with a single glance or change in expression. I guess I took it all for granted, as I never once told you how much I appreciate all that you're done for me. Perhaps I never thought a day would come when you wouldn't be there for me anymore.
I've never told you how much you mean to me, that the only reason why I could give my best on performances or live my life to the fullest was because you were there for me. I want you Risa, I need you.
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah
I'm no longer like how I used to be. I'm no longer whole. A part of me has died since the day you left. It's as if I've become blind, deaf, when I can't see you or hear you on a daily basis.
I could give everything up just to hold you in my arms again, to be able to bully and smack you on the head. If I could start over, I would tell you... how much you really mean to me and that I loved you and will still love you, for the rest of my life.
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you're gone
All the words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you
Monday, September 26, 2011
Kame Kame Kame!!!
Found a fic featuring Eri and a Kpop boy band member. I don't usually like to see the girls paired with other people outside of MM but surprisingly, I wasn't put off by this story. In fact I find it quite believable and enjoyable to read. Watching the trailer which was made for it by one of the readers of the fic, I'm both in awe and ashamed that I could never produce something of such good quality =(
I hope to discover more FICs with Kame, Gaki, Ai and Sayumi. K4 saikou always!
And I miss the turtle! How are you getting along these days Eririn? I want you back in idol world! Actress, singer or model. Anything! Just please come back soon =(...
I hope to discover more FICs with Kame, Gaki, Ai and Sayumi. K4 saikou always!
And I miss the turtle! How are you getting along these days Eririn? I want you back in idol world! Actress, singer or model. Anything! Just please come back soon =(...
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Love's Obsession (2)
8.35 am on a Monday morning and I'm stuck in the ladies, puking my guts out. After an unidentified period of time, I flush the wc and staggered unsteadily to the sink area. The cold water makes me feel slightly better as I rinsed my mouth and splashed the liquid on my face. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I was shocked to see the extent of my pale skin. On my way back to the office, I run into another colleague who didn't belong to the 'three musketeers' I usually go for lunch break with.
"Are you okay? You look really pale."
Her words sounded echo-y and her face blurry as I blinked to combine the multiple images of her standing before me.
"I'm fine."
Forcing a smile, I sent her on her way and returned to my seat. Inside my cubicle, I take a small sip of warm water hoping that the hot drink would ease the turbulence in my stomach. Unfortunately it didn't and fresh tears threatened to slip from the corners of my eyes.
No! Not now, not here!
These words repeated themselves in my mind as I tore at a piece of tissue to dab at my eyes. I couldn't let anyone see me in such a state or they would ask me what was wrong. I didn't want to explain myself or tell them why I was being so upset. Turning my face towards the computer terminal lined up against the wall, I hid my teary eyes and prayed no one would look for me until I had significantly calmed down.
It was always the same, I would never have anyone by my side when I feel sick or depressed.
The vibration of my cellphone brought my attention to the little device and I picked it up and to read the message that had come in.
How is Kame today? Gaki saw a cute French guy at the airport! He was so gentlemanly.
It was surprising that she would send me a message out of the blue. Tilting my head sideways to glance at my desktop calendar, I realized it was Friday and she was probably on her way home from work.
Kame is unwell and wants to go home. Did you get French guy's number?
You will be knocking off soon right? Nah, Gaki doesn't like guys.
After a couple more messages, she stops replying and I figured she must have arrived home. Gaki, full name Niigaki Risa, is a straight A student. Currently she's also working at a shop set up by her college at the airport to train business students on how to run a retail store. She has to work there once a week so she usually messages me when she is on the train travelling home.
Gaki and I share a weird friendship. We don't speak a lot, as she doesn't reply to text messages often. We hardly even meet since she is a homebody who doesn't like to go out and people. Yet she somehow understands where I'm coming from and on the rare days we manage to hold a decent conversation either through Skype or text messaging, I'm usually telling her about my troubles.
"Eri, you want a lift from me?"
My thoughts were interrupted when I looked up to see the smiley face of a married colleague. Returning her a small smile, I promptly agree and began packing my belongings. Although I've not completed my work, I'm really not feeling well enough to do OT.
-----
On the journey back, the car is silent as neither of us spoke. I feel bad about not engaging in small talk but I'm really too brain dead to say anything. I'll just have to make up for her kind gesture some other time.
As she drops me off near her home, I begin walking to the nearest train station. It's packed as always and whilst I stand on the platform waiting for the next train, thoughts of her enter my mind.
~Flashback~
"Shelter yourself too!"
She says with a laugh as she tries to push my hand such that the umbrella I was supporting also shielded my torso from the falling rain. It was obvious that I had angled the brolly in a way which only kept her dry.
"It's okay. Let's walk faster, or we'll really end up drenched."
We started running towards the nearest building and in the process, our shoulders brushed against each other numerous times.
~End of flashback~
Stepping into my empty home after fighting through the crowds on the train and bus on the rest of the way home, I'm suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of nausea. Dashing for the bathroom, I throw up what little I had eaten for lunch as well as some whitish fluid streaked with red.
Great, this just never ends. Allowing my body to slip down onto the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, I leaned my back against the wall and closed my eyes.
~Flashback #2~
"What are you planning on ordering?"
She looks down at the menu in concentration and pauses for some time before meeting my eyes.
"Katsu-don?"
I chuckled at how she ended her sentence with an unsure tone and waved the server over. Once our orders were taken, we settled down and lapsed into an easy conversation. The minutes flew past and before we knew it, it was late and time for her to go home.
"Bye bye?"
Once again, her reply caused me to grin. Walking her to the train station, I watched her retreating back as she walked towards the escalator. Not realizing that it took longer than necessary for me to tear my eyes away, I turned on my heel and started on my way towards my own destination. It was only the second time without the rest, yet somehow, it felt so right.
~End of flashback~
That night she messaged me. And that was how, everything I once knew began to fall apart...
"Are you okay? You look really pale."
Her words sounded echo-y and her face blurry as I blinked to combine the multiple images of her standing before me.
"I'm fine."
Forcing a smile, I sent her on her way and returned to my seat. Inside my cubicle, I take a small sip of warm water hoping that the hot drink would ease the turbulence in my stomach. Unfortunately it didn't and fresh tears threatened to slip from the corners of my eyes.
No! Not now, not here!
These words repeated themselves in my mind as I tore at a piece of tissue to dab at my eyes. I couldn't let anyone see me in such a state or they would ask me what was wrong. I didn't want to explain myself or tell them why I was being so upset. Turning my face towards the computer terminal lined up against the wall, I hid my teary eyes and prayed no one would look for me until I had significantly calmed down.
It was always the same, I would never have anyone by my side when I feel sick or depressed.
The vibration of my cellphone brought my attention to the little device and I picked it up and to read the message that had come in.
How is Kame today? Gaki saw a cute French guy at the airport! He was so gentlemanly.
It was surprising that she would send me a message out of the blue. Tilting my head sideways to glance at my desktop calendar, I realized it was Friday and she was probably on her way home from work.
Kame is unwell and wants to go home. Did you get French guy's number?
You will be knocking off soon right? Nah, Gaki doesn't like guys.
After a couple more messages, she stops replying and I figured she must have arrived home. Gaki, full name Niigaki Risa, is a straight A student. Currently she's also working at a shop set up by her college at the airport to train business students on how to run a retail store. She has to work there once a week so she usually messages me when she is on the train travelling home.
Gaki and I share a weird friendship. We don't speak a lot, as she doesn't reply to text messages often. We hardly even meet since she is a homebody who doesn't like to go out and people. Yet she somehow understands where I'm coming from and on the rare days we manage to hold a decent conversation either through Skype or text messaging, I'm usually telling her about my troubles.
"Eri, you want a lift from me?"
My thoughts were interrupted when I looked up to see the smiley face of a married colleague. Returning her a small smile, I promptly agree and began packing my belongings. Although I've not completed my work, I'm really not feeling well enough to do OT.
-----
On the journey back, the car is silent as neither of us spoke. I feel bad about not engaging in small talk but I'm really too brain dead to say anything. I'll just have to make up for her kind gesture some other time.
As she drops me off near her home, I begin walking to the nearest train station. It's packed as always and whilst I stand on the platform waiting for the next train, thoughts of her enter my mind.
~Flashback~
"Shelter yourself too!"
She says with a laugh as she tries to push my hand such that the umbrella I was supporting also shielded my torso from the falling rain. It was obvious that I had angled the brolly in a way which only kept her dry.
"It's okay. Let's walk faster, or we'll really end up drenched."
We started running towards the nearest building and in the process, our shoulders brushed against each other numerous times.
~End of flashback~
Stepping into my empty home after fighting through the crowds on the train and bus on the rest of the way home, I'm suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of nausea. Dashing for the bathroom, I throw up what little I had eaten for lunch as well as some whitish fluid streaked with red.
Great, this just never ends. Allowing my body to slip down onto the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, I leaned my back against the wall and closed my eyes.
~Flashback #2~
"What are you planning on ordering?"
She looks down at the menu in concentration and pauses for some time before meeting my eyes.
"Katsu-don?"
I chuckled at how she ended her sentence with an unsure tone and waved the server over. Once our orders were taken, we settled down and lapsed into an easy conversation. The minutes flew past and before we knew it, it was late and time for her to go home.
"Bye bye?"
Once again, her reply caused me to grin. Walking her to the train station, I watched her retreating back as she walked towards the escalator. Not realizing that it took longer than necessary for me to tear my eyes away, I turned on my heel and started on my way towards my own destination. It was only the second time without the rest, yet somehow, it felt so right.
~End of flashback~
That night she messaged me. And that was how, everything I once knew began to fall apart...
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Sayu's 爱
I usually don't love any pairings above my AiGaki, KameShige and KameMame.
But this perv fic by Rokun was really all kinds of win. It was really quite sweet in the beginning then it turned into this incredibly...I-don't-even-know-how-to-explain-it kind of awesome XD I'm predicting it will turn into that kind of awesome cuz I have not even read it to the end yet, lol. I just decided to blog about it cuz I'd expect that I'll want to reread it again but I might not be able to find it again then.
But this perv fic by Rokun was really all kinds of win. It was really quite sweet in the beginning then it turned into this incredibly...I-don't-even-know-how-to-explain-it kind of awesome XD I'm predicting it will turn into that kind of awesome cuz I have not even read it to the end yet, lol. I just decided to blog about it cuz I'd expect that I'll want to reread it again but I might not be able to find it again then.
I think I'm in a lame mood cuz I find the title for my this post quite smart.
Sayu's 爱 = Sayumi's Ai = Sayumi's love. XDDDDD
What beats staying in bed and sleeping in on a rainy day?
Staying in bed, reading great fics featuring my fave MM girls on a day where no one else is home. Now, if only the annoying aches would go away.
Last Chance
Sayumi walked slowly through the dark, watching all the late night revelers as they went about whatever “business” they had. Most didn’t seem to hurry where they were going, but sometimes she would hear footsteps of people – usually couples or groups – running and laughing, or crying out at whatever craziness they were up to.
Sayumi sighed wistfully. It seemed a world so foreign to her with the restrictions of being an idol. She couldn’t just be free to see whomever she wanted whenever she wanted, or go to parties or just have a romping night on the town. Parties that were much more than the one she just attended, at least.
She glanced again at the person walking next to her, who almost appeared to be brooding. Seriously, how did the girl manage to do that so often? She was probably lost in amazement that someone actually bought her a cake and recognized her birthday tonight.
“Ai-chan!” she said, poking at Leader’s arm.
“Mm?” the girl replied smoothly, as if they’d been in conversation the whole time.
Sayumi brandished an arm at her, her bag waving from her wrist. “I’m surprised you don’t have more to say about tonight.”
Ai gave her what almost appeared to be a bewildered expression. “About tonight?” she asked blankly. “Concerning what?”
Concerning what!? Sayumi felt like smacking her with her bag. No matter how cool she looked walking with that slouch and hat and hands in her pockets. Instead, she restrained herself. This was not some host she needed to antagonize on TV; this was Ai-chan, Ai-chan who was her dear senpai and friend, and whom she had loved for most of her life.
She pulled her cell phone out and checked the time. An LCD 23:56 shone back at her. “You know Ai-chan, you’ll be twenty-five in four more—”
“Three,” Ai shot back right away, her never-changing stare directed straight ahead. She smiled. “It’s become three since you looked at your phone.”
Sayumi checked it again. The girl was right.
Not wanting to spend too much time thinking about how she knew that, just filing it away as another surprisingly unsurprising thing about her Leader, she continued on with what she was going to say.
“It’ll turn while we’re walking here, you know.”
“I expect it will,” Ai replied. Her calm, non-chalant precision was almost maddening sometimes. She was really such a geek. That was one reason Sayumi sometimes wondered why she even loved her.
“Well…” Sayumi said, as usual thinking fast to keep up with the girl. “What if I said I have a present to give you right when it turns midnight?”
This made Ai turn to her, and Sayumi saw a smile of pure happiness and the sparkle in her eyes. “A present?” the girl asked disbelievingly. “For me? Really? I feel like I’ve already gotten so many presents tonight…” she pondered, looking back ahead.
“Only from Aika,” Sayumi replied quickly. “The DVD was certainly thoughtful though. Well, and the cake, and the takoyaki I suppose…”
“Takoyaki…” Ai murmured, and Sayumi could almost see the wheels turning in her head, bringing the fond memory back to the front. Aika had really cooked them quite amazingly.
“Ahe~m!” Sayumi said, clearing her throat, and drawing the girl’s curious attention back to her. “I believe we were talking about my present.”
Ai suddenly fell into a relaxed smile. “Of course, Sayu. But really, you shouldn’t have.”
Peering subtly down at her phone again with her bag, and seeing that it now said 0:00, she looked up and, without a moment’s hesitation, leaned forward to press her lips against Ai’s.
Ai was too shocked to avoid it, and when Sayumi pulled back with a smile, the girl was staring at her wide-eyed. “Happy birthday,” she said quietly as the two girls stood nearly frozen beside the street. For the first time Sayumi became aware that someone else nearby could have easily spotted them, but thankfully no one seemed to have been close enough.
“Sayumi…” Ai said, trailing off in stunned silence.
“Gotcha again,” Sayumi joked, attempting to ease the tension. For some reason it didn’t work though. For some reason, the tension felt like it still hung in the air, heavy as ever.
Ai blushed, and glanced around meekly. “That was reckless, you know,” she said, once again the chastising senpai. “This isn’t a concert set up for entertainment. It’s our private time. It’s just us.”
“I know,” Sayumi replied, gazing steadily at the girl. “It is just us. Ai-chan,” she began, swallowing a lump in her throat. This wasn’t supposed to be so hard! “Ai-chan, I love you. I know it sounds silly, but it’s true.”
“Not at all,” Ai replied, narrowing her eyes a bit at her. “I of course love you too, Sayumin. I’m going to miss all of you so much…”
Sayumi shook her head vigorously. “No. That’s not what I mean. I mean… There’s no way I could ever be worthy, but I love you. I want to be with you, like… like a man loves a woman.”
“Sayu…” Ai murmured, seeming at a complete loss.
Sayumi could feel tears beginning to come to her eyes. “I know it could never be, but I just… before you left, and there won’t likely ever be as perfect a time like this again with just the two of us before all the chaos, I just had to make sure and tell you. I wanted you to know.”
“Sayumin…” Ai said, and took a step closer.
Sayumi really was beginning to cry now, and took out a tissue to try and stifle her sobs. Ai still stood there, right in front of her, such emotion in her face just like always… She really would make such a good actor. And not just that…
Damn the girl for always managing to look so insanely cool… and hot.
“Sayumi, stop it,” Ai said, and Sayumi felt arms around her as she pulled her into a tight hug. Sayumi clung on tight, worried that she’d never get the chance again, and somehow the sobs she expected never fully came.
Then, still embracing, Ai pulled back to gaze into her face, long-lashed eyes shining with moisture staring straight into her own. And, though Sayumi could scarcely believe it, she felt hot lips upon hers once again. This time though it didn’t break, and the two girls, lost to time and space, for the first time fully took in the sensation it created in them. For the first time, they truly kissed each other.
At first their lips were still, but after a moment it developed into gentle caresses. Sayumi didn’t know who did it first, but their lips parted and they tasted each other. Wanting more, not knowing any better, Sayumi slid her tongue through the crevasse created between Ai’s lips, and soon tongues as well as lips enjoyed the soft caressing.
When they finally did part, they held their faces still close, Sayumi breathing quickly, Ai barely seeming like anything had changed. “What…” Sayumi began, trying to form a coherent thought. “What was that…?”
“I don’t know,” Ai murmured, ending with a soft titter. “It was just… something I felt like doing.” Then she looked intensely into Sayumi’s eyes, this time almost completely stealing away her breath. “Sayumi…” she said, and Sayumi recognized Ai’s serious mode. This made her not just a little bit concerned.
“Yes…?” Sayumi mustered with what breath she had left.
“Do you want to really give me a birthday present tonight?” Sayumi’s eyes narrowed slightly in confusion, but Ai’s gaze never wavered. “Teach me…” the girl began. The arms around Sayumi now seemed to be burning into her flesh. “Teach me how to love.”
Sayumi blinked.
“Um…” she said finally. It was now completely impossible to think. “I can’t.”
Ai’s features fell slightly, disappointment crossing her face.
“I mean,” Sayumi interjected quickly, brain whirring into action again. “I can’t… teach you something I don’t even know myself.” She felt like she was going crazy. Here she had Ai, in the most perfect situation at the most perfect time, and she was a failure. Why did this even need to happen? She knew she was inadequate for someone like Ai, someone nearly so perfect, so why did it have to get driven in even harder like a stake to the heart after the coffin had already been nailed shut?
But then,
Suddenly, Ai smiled.
“Then let’s learn together.”
…
Come again?
“I’ll be graduating soon,” the girl continued, a haunted look coming into her eyes. “I’m so scared. I’m terrified. I know what it is I want to do, but this is virtually all I’ve known. I wonder… I wonder if this is one thing I can do to prepare for what’s to come.”
“You want…” Sayumi said, brow furrowing. “You want… to practice? Practice on me before… before the real thing?”
Ai blinked, and she seemed to think again. “No.” She shook her head. “No. Of course not. That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry, that was dumb. There will be so many questions in my life, things I’ll be experiencing for the first time. Maybe… maybe this doesn’t have to be one of them.” She looked up into Sayumi’s eyes again. “I’m twenty-five now. Maybe this is one thing out of so many that should have been settled long ago… that doesn’t have to be a question.”
Ai looked at her, anticipating a response, but as none came while Sayumi just stared dreamily back, she continued, “…Are you all right? I’m sorry. I’m just being stupid again, aren’t I?”
“Shut up,” Sayumi interjected suddenly, cutting her off completely. Ai looked querulously up at her. “Shut up…” Sayumi repeated again, shaking her head slightly. “And just kiss me.”
Ai’s eyes widened, but it was only a momentary hesitation before she did as ordered and kissed her again, Sayumi now feeling as if impossible dreams had somehow come true.
After realizing they’d been out in full public view for long enough, they soon made their way to a nearby hotel, and after short negotiation at the reception found themselves in a room with a large bed in front of them as they held hands before it.
“So…” Sayumi said.
“Yep…” Ai replied just as pointlessly.
“What… do you suppose we do now?” Sayumi asked, looking down at her companion.
“You’d think we’ve never shared a hotel room before,” Ai commented wryly.
Sayumi giggled, and pulled slightly at the girl’s hand as they turned to face each other. She glanced at the loose collar of Ai’s t-shirt, and down to her shorts and the thin chain dangling from the pocket before moving back up to her face. Then she reached up to pull off her hat. “Well to start with…” Sayumi began, tossing it aside, a blush rushing quickly to her face as she continued, “Maybe you can take my clothes off?”
Ai cocked an eyebrow at her. “I’m surprised you’d even let someone else touch them like that.”
“You’re the fashion diva,” Sayumi mumbled in reply, looking pleadingly up into her face. “Mou~ do you really have to make this harder than it is already?? Doesn’t every girl long for her prince to come and just whisk her away?”
“Every girl?” Ai asked with a smile, but stepped closer to her. “Or just a princess?”
Sayumi blushed once again.
However, it was short-lived as Ai reached up to her collar. She carefully began undoing the buttons of her blouse, smiling reassuringly the whole way until she got to the bottom, and then pulling it apart to reveal the light strapped shirt beneath. She tenderly slid the blouse down her arms, followed by the spaghetti straps of her undershirt until her shoulders were exposed.
Now for the first time Ai appeared nervous also as she continued pulling it down past her lacy blue bra until it sat below her belly button. Sayumi could hardly contain her anxiety, as well as her excitement, but did her best to stay still as Ai rested her hands at her waist a moment, her eyes fixed there as well.
“And now my skirt?” Sayumi managed to request, wondering where the bravery was coming from.
“Um, of course…” Ai replied, and reached around her waist. After loosening the band, all it took was for her to remove her hands before it fell to Sayumi’s feet, revealing the somewhat lacy but generally plain panties to match the bra. Sayumi was now a bit embarrassed she hadn’t worn something more… inviting… but she couldn’t have imagined she’d be having sex tonight!
Suddenly she froze at the thought. That was the first time she’d completely thought of it in that way. She was hopefully going to have sex tonight! With Ai-chan! The air of unreality hit her with full force once again.
“Are you okay?” Ai asked, her face twisted slightly in worry as she held her hands still after they had begun pushing her undershirt the rest of the way down.
Sayumi looked up at her and blinked. “Um, yes… Everything’s fine.” Then she put her hands atop Ai’s, helping her to push the shirt down past her panties to join the skirt at her feet.
When she stepped out of them, she looked back into Ai-chan’s face, which was still directed below. Feeling self-conscious again, Sayumi crossed her arms below her chest. She knew it. She’d gotten this far, but she should have known it long ago. She wasn’t satisfactory enough for Ai-chan.
“Mou~” she said, trying not to sound too pathetic. “Stop staring!”
Ai seemed to break out of a trance and looked up at her again. “Sorry. It’s just… you really are beautiful.”
“Liar,” Sayumi whined, but in her head she was screaming “So freaking cool!!!”
“Not at all,” Ai replied, and stepped forward to take her in her arms once again. If she thought Ai’s touch felt hot before, it was nothing compared to now against her bare skin.
Ai leaned in to kiss her, for the first time since arriving at the hotel, and as it quickly deepened she was very conscious of hands wandering over her back. She could feel fingers pluck lightly at the strap of her bra until finally they deftly undid it, and after the straps fell to her sides, Ai pulled back slightly to let the entire garment fall to the floor between them.
Sayumi did her best to lose herself in the kiss and not anticipate what might happen next – it was actually rather easy since Ai’s tongue was delicious as well as insatiable – but when she felt a hand envelop her breast there was nothing she could do to prevent a moan from escaping into the other’s mouth.
Perhaps encouraged by the sound, Ai squeezed her hand gently around the soft flesh, and when a thumb flicked over her nipple Sayumi felt her body tremble and her legs give out slightly, momentarily breaking the kiss.
Ai looked into her eyes as if to make sure everything was all right, but in response Sayumi grabbed her free hand in both of hers and slid it down her stomach, brazenly stuffing it beneath the lace of her panties. Ai paused in surprise, but it was nothing compared to what Sayumi felt when the girl’s fingers incidentally came into contact with the tender flesh she had been aiming them toward.
“Rub me,” Sayumi commanded, now giving herself over to lust, and after a moment Ai did as she was told.
Her hips gyrating with the girl’s finger motions, Sayumi now felt a burning need to feel the other’s skin, and so grabbed at the hem of her t-shirt to tug it and what was beneath, if a bit awkwardly, up and off, until all that was left above Ai’s shorts as well was her bra. She leaned in to kiss Ai’s neck just as her moans continued at what Ai’s fingers were doing between her legs. She circled her arms around the tautly-muscled body, once again fleetingly feeling unsatisfactory herself, and clumsily pulled down the sports bra to reveal Ai’s glorious chest.
Sayumi spent only a moment admiring it though before immediately taking a nipple into her mouth, making Ai now begin to moan along with herself.
The two girls continued pleasuring each other this way until Sayu pulled away to sit back on the bed. Scooting back until her head reached the pillow, she laid back and spread her legs before Ai, a pleading, desperate look on her face.
Ai stared at her a moment, whether studying her or without thought Sayumi couldn’t know, didn’t care at the time, but then climbed onto the bed to join her lover. Seeing Ai still in her shorts, Sayumi cursed before leaning up, pulling a confused Ai to a sitting position to undo the shorts. Eventually she managed to drag them down her legs, leaving the older now in only panties as well, before sitting back once again with her legs spread.
Ai now had the grace to blush at being exposed to her companion, but Sayu didn’t want to let her get away with that for long. Grabbing lightly at her wrist, she drew the girl’s eyes to her own. “If you don’t do something to me soon…”
Almost before she could get all the words out, Ai slid up to capture her lips in another kiss. Sayumi gave a short cry at the sudden movement, but soon the feel of the girl completely on top of her took over.
Ai didn’t spend much time at her mouth though before kissing down the middle of her neck and the valley between her breasts. Sayumi gave a short gurgle of disappointment that she ignored the nipples, but Ai’s advance soon calmed any of that.
Down her stomach to her belly button, and on down from there. Sayumi did her best to keep from squirming, embarrassed at how sensitive she was while imagining Ai’s abs. Mmm.. abs…
When Ai reached the hem of her panties she trailed slow kisses along them as her fingers hooked into the elastic. Sayumi eagerly lifted her hips as they began to be pulled down, and Ai followed them with her lips past the thin bush and on down her thigh.
Sayumi awkwardly tried to kick the underwear off, but Ai had to help her. Afterward, she grabbed at the girl’s light-colored hair to pull her between her legs. Ai easily resisted her though, instead grinning up at her while pushing her legs further apart. “Easy now,” she teased. “I’ll take good care of you.”
“You better,” Sayumi growled in desperation, before relaxing her legs in hopes the girl would keep to her promise.
Boy, she sure did.
The first thing Sayumi felt was a slow lick along her slit, and she could certainly no longer relax. Ai held her legs down as she nibbled at the flaps over her entrance, and it was a good thing she did so. When her tongue poked inside, Sayumi began grinding herself against the girl’s mouth as well.
Looking down at the sight of Ai’s hair bouncing as her face buried itself into her crotch, Sayumi nearly exploded right there in amazement at what was happening. It was truly like a dream come true. A really hentai dream. From a real hentai. Yep, that was Sayumi.
Then she really did explode.
…
The next time she opened her eyes, she stared up into soft features that relaxed in relief. “I thought you’d passed out…” Ai said worriedly.
“I did,” Sayumi replied, eyes wide as they gazed dreamily upward. “I was in Heaven…”
“Um…” Ai mumbled, starting to look very uncomfortable now.
But then Sayumi’s eyes focused onto her own, and the bunny smiled. “I still am.”
This time Ai completely blushed, but Sayumi barely saw it as she pulled her down for a deeply tender kiss. As they kissed, Sayumi made sure to squeeze her tightly, feel as much warm flesh as she could. It felt like Ai did the same. Then she did her best to roll over, finally managing to come out atop the shorter yet older woman. Breaking the kiss, Sayumi looked down into her eyes.
“You really are my prince,” she said with a wide smile. When Ai smiled fondly back, she continued, twirling a finger into her boyish locks, “And you’re one of the few girls I know who would completely take that as a compliment.”
“What can I say?” Ai replied. “I guess I’m just one of the boys.”
Sayumi immediately flashed a wicked grin that wiped the smile from Ai’s features. Then she thrust her hand down between the other’s legs, though above her panties. When she began to rub slow and hard, the other gasped.
“I beg to differ,” Sayumi said in a low voice, and leaned down to kiss the other’s neck.
As Ai began breathing heavily, Sayumi sucked gently at her neck. She made her way deliberately down her collarbone until she reached the top of her chest. The suctioning kisses then continued up the soft flesh to her nipple, which Sayumi vacuumed greedily between her lips.
Ai now began moaning at Sayumi’s aggressive sucking, not to mention the pressure between her legs, but Sayumi herself was presented with a dilemma. She was afraid her tongue wasn’t yet adequate for what Ai had just done to her, so instead of risking embarrassment – whether Ai actually complained or not was not even a factor – she wedged her fingers underneath the elastic of her panties, cupping her soft mound for a moment before sliding down to her moist prize.
Ai’s body now tensed and almost arched, and Sayu’s envy at its strength almost overcame her. Well, to the point where she became even more aggressive with her actions at least. Sucking as hard as she could, even biting from time to time, she wasted no time in thrusting a finger in past Ai’s folds.
Ai cried out – very un-princely – time and time again as Sayumi sucked and thrust. After Sayumi switched to her other nipple only moments passed before the girl convulsed, fluid seeping out to drench Sayumi’s fingers – and Ai’s panties. Sayumi didn’t stop though, and after a minute Ai came once again.
“Sayumi…” Ai breathed, moaned, cried out desperately. “I can’t…”
With a plop, Sayumi’s lips detached from her nipple. “You can’t what, Ai-chan?” she asked with a smirk, pulling the cum-covered hand out of her panties and bringing it to her mouth as she sat straddling Ai’s waist. She peered at the shining liquid a moment before sticking a finger fully in to suck it dry.
Ai gulped beneath her.
Sayumi wasn’t done yet.
Scooting back, she grabbed Ai’s soaked panties roughly and pulled them down her legs, Ai giving cute little yelps as she tried to maneuver her legs to help. Then Sayu held the fabric up to her face, inhaling in a long sniff.
“You’re gross, you know that,” Ai said, finally sounding amused.
“Oh really?” Sayumi replied. “And who just came twice into her panties and onto my fingers?”
Ai went scarlet, but Sayumi threw the garment aside and leaned down to lie comfortably beside her lover. One leg straddled the others’, and her burning loins pressed comfortably against the side of Ai’s hip. Still incredibly horny, Sayumi humped it slowly, the taut muscles feeling wonderful against her, and making it damp as well with her own seeping moisture.
Kissing Ai’s cheekbone, she played her still-damp fingers along the girl’s lips. “I love you, Ai-chan,” she said over and over, as she one by one slipped each finger into her mouth. Then she lifted her head and kissed Ai’s moist lips.
“So,” Sayumi breathed, just above the other’s face. “How many questions do you still have left to ask?”
Ai smiled at her, reaching up to brush strands of silky black hair behind her ear and down her back. “Well…” she began, and Sayumi lightly kissed her nose.
“Yes?” the bunny replied, eyes sparkling.
“Maybe one less.”
At the response, Sayumi snuggled her face into the crook of Ai’s neck. “Ai-chan…” she purred.
“Mmm?”
“Make love to me again.”
“As you wish.”
…
…Kakkoii.
Last Chance
Sayumi walked slowly through the dark, watching all the late night revelers as they went about whatever “business” they had. Most didn’t seem to hurry where they were going, but sometimes she would hear footsteps of people – usually couples or groups – running and laughing, or crying out at whatever craziness they were up to.
Sayumi sighed wistfully. It seemed a world so foreign to her with the restrictions of being an idol. She couldn’t just be free to see whomever she wanted whenever she wanted, or go to parties or just have a romping night on the town. Parties that were much more than the one she just attended, at least.
She glanced again at the person walking next to her, who almost appeared to be brooding. Seriously, how did the girl manage to do that so often? She was probably lost in amazement that someone actually bought her a cake and recognized her birthday tonight.
“Ai-chan!” she said, poking at Leader’s arm.
“Mm?” the girl replied smoothly, as if they’d been in conversation the whole time.
Sayumi brandished an arm at her, her bag waving from her wrist. “I’m surprised you don’t have more to say about tonight.”
Ai gave her what almost appeared to be a bewildered expression. “About tonight?” she asked blankly. “Concerning what?”
Concerning what!? Sayumi felt like smacking her with her bag. No matter how cool she looked walking with that slouch and hat and hands in her pockets. Instead, she restrained herself. This was not some host she needed to antagonize on TV; this was Ai-chan, Ai-chan who was her dear senpai and friend, and whom she had loved for most of her life.
She pulled her cell phone out and checked the time. An LCD 23:56 shone back at her. “You know Ai-chan, you’ll be twenty-five in four more—”
“Three,” Ai shot back right away, her never-changing stare directed straight ahead. She smiled. “It’s become three since you looked at your phone.”
Sayumi checked it again. The girl was right.
Not wanting to spend too much time thinking about how she knew that, just filing it away as another surprisingly unsurprising thing about her Leader, she continued on with what she was going to say.
“It’ll turn while we’re walking here, you know.”
“I expect it will,” Ai replied. Her calm, non-chalant precision was almost maddening sometimes. She was really such a geek. That was one reason Sayumi sometimes wondered why she even loved her.
“Well…” Sayumi said, as usual thinking fast to keep up with the girl. “What if I said I have a present to give you right when it turns midnight?”
This made Ai turn to her, and Sayumi saw a smile of pure happiness and the sparkle in her eyes. “A present?” the girl asked disbelievingly. “For me? Really? I feel like I’ve already gotten so many presents tonight…” she pondered, looking back ahead.
“Only from Aika,” Sayumi replied quickly. “The DVD was certainly thoughtful though. Well, and the cake, and the takoyaki I suppose…”
“Takoyaki…” Ai murmured, and Sayumi could almost see the wheels turning in her head, bringing the fond memory back to the front. Aika had really cooked them quite amazingly.
“Ahe~m!” Sayumi said, clearing her throat, and drawing the girl’s curious attention back to her. “I believe we were talking about my present.”
Ai suddenly fell into a relaxed smile. “Of course, Sayu. But really, you shouldn’t have.”
Peering subtly down at her phone again with her bag, and seeing that it now said 0:00, she looked up and, without a moment’s hesitation, leaned forward to press her lips against Ai’s.
Ai was too shocked to avoid it, and when Sayumi pulled back with a smile, the girl was staring at her wide-eyed. “Happy birthday,” she said quietly as the two girls stood nearly frozen beside the street. For the first time Sayumi became aware that someone else nearby could have easily spotted them, but thankfully no one seemed to have been close enough.
“Sayumi…” Ai said, trailing off in stunned silence.
“Gotcha again,” Sayumi joked, attempting to ease the tension. For some reason it didn’t work though. For some reason, the tension felt like it still hung in the air, heavy as ever.
Ai blushed, and glanced around meekly. “That was reckless, you know,” she said, once again the chastising senpai. “This isn’t a concert set up for entertainment. It’s our private time. It’s just us.”
“I know,” Sayumi replied, gazing steadily at the girl. “It is just us. Ai-chan,” she began, swallowing a lump in her throat. This wasn’t supposed to be so hard! “Ai-chan, I love you. I know it sounds silly, but it’s true.”
“Not at all,” Ai replied, narrowing her eyes a bit at her. “I of course love you too, Sayumin. I’m going to miss all of you so much…”
Sayumi shook her head vigorously. “No. That’s not what I mean. I mean… There’s no way I could ever be worthy, but I love you. I want to be with you, like… like a man loves a woman.”
“Sayu…” Ai murmured, seeming at a complete loss.
Sayumi could feel tears beginning to come to her eyes. “I know it could never be, but I just… before you left, and there won’t likely ever be as perfect a time like this again with just the two of us before all the chaos, I just had to make sure and tell you. I wanted you to know.”
“Sayumin…” Ai said, and took a step closer.
Sayumi really was beginning to cry now, and took out a tissue to try and stifle her sobs. Ai still stood there, right in front of her, such emotion in her face just like always… She really would make such a good actor. And not just that…
Damn the girl for always managing to look so insanely cool… and hot.
“Sayumi, stop it,” Ai said, and Sayumi felt arms around her as she pulled her into a tight hug. Sayumi clung on tight, worried that she’d never get the chance again, and somehow the sobs she expected never fully came.
Then, still embracing, Ai pulled back to gaze into her face, long-lashed eyes shining with moisture staring straight into her own. And, though Sayumi could scarcely believe it, she felt hot lips upon hers once again. This time though it didn’t break, and the two girls, lost to time and space, for the first time fully took in the sensation it created in them. For the first time, they truly kissed each other.
At first their lips were still, but after a moment it developed into gentle caresses. Sayumi didn’t know who did it first, but their lips parted and they tasted each other. Wanting more, not knowing any better, Sayumi slid her tongue through the crevasse created between Ai’s lips, and soon tongues as well as lips enjoyed the soft caressing.
When they finally did part, they held their faces still close, Sayumi breathing quickly, Ai barely seeming like anything had changed. “What…” Sayumi began, trying to form a coherent thought. “What was that…?”
“I don’t know,” Ai murmured, ending with a soft titter. “It was just… something I felt like doing.” Then she looked intensely into Sayumi’s eyes, this time almost completely stealing away her breath. “Sayumi…” she said, and Sayumi recognized Ai’s serious mode. This made her not just a little bit concerned.
“Yes…?” Sayumi mustered with what breath she had left.
“Do you want to really give me a birthday present tonight?” Sayumi’s eyes narrowed slightly in confusion, but Ai’s gaze never wavered. “Teach me…” the girl began. The arms around Sayumi now seemed to be burning into her flesh. “Teach me how to love.”
Sayumi blinked.
“Um…” she said finally. It was now completely impossible to think. “I can’t.”
Ai’s features fell slightly, disappointment crossing her face.
“I mean,” Sayumi interjected quickly, brain whirring into action again. “I can’t… teach you something I don’t even know myself.” She felt like she was going crazy. Here she had Ai, in the most perfect situation at the most perfect time, and she was a failure. Why did this even need to happen? She knew she was inadequate for someone like Ai, someone nearly so perfect, so why did it have to get driven in even harder like a stake to the heart after the coffin had already been nailed shut?
But then,
Suddenly, Ai smiled.
“Then let’s learn together.”
…
Come again?
“I’ll be graduating soon,” the girl continued, a haunted look coming into her eyes. “I’m so scared. I’m terrified. I know what it is I want to do, but this is virtually all I’ve known. I wonder… I wonder if this is one thing I can do to prepare for what’s to come.”
“You want…” Sayumi said, brow furrowing. “You want… to practice? Practice on me before… before the real thing?”
Ai blinked, and she seemed to think again. “No.” She shook her head. “No. Of course not. That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry, that was dumb. There will be so many questions in my life, things I’ll be experiencing for the first time. Maybe… maybe this doesn’t have to be one of them.” She looked up into Sayumi’s eyes again. “I’m twenty-five now. Maybe this is one thing out of so many that should have been settled long ago… that doesn’t have to be a question.”
Ai looked at her, anticipating a response, but as none came while Sayumi just stared dreamily back, she continued, “…Are you all right? I’m sorry. I’m just being stupid again, aren’t I?”
“Shut up,” Sayumi interjected suddenly, cutting her off completely. Ai looked querulously up at her. “Shut up…” Sayumi repeated again, shaking her head slightly. “And just kiss me.”
Ai’s eyes widened, but it was only a momentary hesitation before she did as ordered and kissed her again, Sayumi now feeling as if impossible dreams had somehow come true.
After realizing they’d been out in full public view for long enough, they soon made their way to a nearby hotel, and after short negotiation at the reception found themselves in a room with a large bed in front of them as they held hands before it.
“So…” Sayumi said.
“Yep…” Ai replied just as pointlessly.
“What… do you suppose we do now?” Sayumi asked, looking down at her companion.
“You’d think we’ve never shared a hotel room before,” Ai commented wryly.
Sayumi giggled, and pulled slightly at the girl’s hand as they turned to face each other. She glanced at the loose collar of Ai’s t-shirt, and down to her shorts and the thin chain dangling from the pocket before moving back up to her face. Then she reached up to pull off her hat. “Well to start with…” Sayumi began, tossing it aside, a blush rushing quickly to her face as she continued, “Maybe you can take my clothes off?”
Ai cocked an eyebrow at her. “I’m surprised you’d even let someone else touch them like that.”
“You’re the fashion diva,” Sayumi mumbled in reply, looking pleadingly up into her face. “Mou~ do you really have to make this harder than it is already?? Doesn’t every girl long for her prince to come and just whisk her away?”
“Every girl?” Ai asked with a smile, but stepped closer to her. “Or just a princess?”
Sayumi blushed once again.
However, it was short-lived as Ai reached up to her collar. She carefully began undoing the buttons of her blouse, smiling reassuringly the whole way until she got to the bottom, and then pulling it apart to reveal the light strapped shirt beneath. She tenderly slid the blouse down her arms, followed by the spaghetti straps of her undershirt until her shoulders were exposed.
Now for the first time Ai appeared nervous also as she continued pulling it down past her lacy blue bra until it sat below her belly button. Sayumi could hardly contain her anxiety, as well as her excitement, but did her best to stay still as Ai rested her hands at her waist a moment, her eyes fixed there as well.
“And now my skirt?” Sayumi managed to request, wondering where the bravery was coming from.
“Um, of course…” Ai replied, and reached around her waist. After loosening the band, all it took was for her to remove her hands before it fell to Sayumi’s feet, revealing the somewhat lacy but generally plain panties to match the bra. Sayumi was now a bit embarrassed she hadn’t worn something more… inviting… but she couldn’t have imagined she’d be having sex tonight!
Suddenly she froze at the thought. That was the first time she’d completely thought of it in that way. She was hopefully going to have sex tonight! With Ai-chan! The air of unreality hit her with full force once again.
“Are you okay?” Ai asked, her face twisted slightly in worry as she held her hands still after they had begun pushing her undershirt the rest of the way down.
Sayumi looked up at her and blinked. “Um, yes… Everything’s fine.” Then she put her hands atop Ai’s, helping her to push the shirt down past her panties to join the skirt at her feet.
When she stepped out of them, she looked back into Ai-chan’s face, which was still directed below. Feeling self-conscious again, Sayumi crossed her arms below her chest. She knew it. She’d gotten this far, but she should have known it long ago. She wasn’t satisfactory enough for Ai-chan.
“Mou~” she said, trying not to sound too pathetic. “Stop staring!”
Ai seemed to break out of a trance and looked up at her again. “Sorry. It’s just… you really are beautiful.”
“Liar,” Sayumi whined, but in her head she was screaming “So freaking cool!!!”
“Not at all,” Ai replied, and stepped forward to take her in her arms once again. If she thought Ai’s touch felt hot before, it was nothing compared to now against her bare skin.
Ai leaned in to kiss her, for the first time since arriving at the hotel, and as it quickly deepened she was very conscious of hands wandering over her back. She could feel fingers pluck lightly at the strap of her bra until finally they deftly undid it, and after the straps fell to her sides, Ai pulled back slightly to let the entire garment fall to the floor between them.
Sayumi did her best to lose herself in the kiss and not anticipate what might happen next – it was actually rather easy since Ai’s tongue was delicious as well as insatiable – but when she felt a hand envelop her breast there was nothing she could do to prevent a moan from escaping into the other’s mouth.
Perhaps encouraged by the sound, Ai squeezed her hand gently around the soft flesh, and when a thumb flicked over her nipple Sayumi felt her body tremble and her legs give out slightly, momentarily breaking the kiss.
Ai looked into her eyes as if to make sure everything was all right, but in response Sayumi grabbed her free hand in both of hers and slid it down her stomach, brazenly stuffing it beneath the lace of her panties. Ai paused in surprise, but it was nothing compared to what Sayumi felt when the girl’s fingers incidentally came into contact with the tender flesh she had been aiming them toward.
“Rub me,” Sayumi commanded, now giving herself over to lust, and after a moment Ai did as she was told.
Her hips gyrating with the girl’s finger motions, Sayumi now felt a burning need to feel the other’s skin, and so grabbed at the hem of her t-shirt to tug it and what was beneath, if a bit awkwardly, up and off, until all that was left above Ai’s shorts as well was her bra. She leaned in to kiss Ai’s neck just as her moans continued at what Ai’s fingers were doing between her legs. She circled her arms around the tautly-muscled body, once again fleetingly feeling unsatisfactory herself, and clumsily pulled down the sports bra to reveal Ai’s glorious chest.
Sayumi spent only a moment admiring it though before immediately taking a nipple into her mouth, making Ai now begin to moan along with herself.
The two girls continued pleasuring each other this way until Sayu pulled away to sit back on the bed. Scooting back until her head reached the pillow, she laid back and spread her legs before Ai, a pleading, desperate look on her face.
Ai stared at her a moment, whether studying her or without thought Sayumi couldn’t know, didn’t care at the time, but then climbed onto the bed to join her lover. Seeing Ai still in her shorts, Sayumi cursed before leaning up, pulling a confused Ai to a sitting position to undo the shorts. Eventually she managed to drag them down her legs, leaving the older now in only panties as well, before sitting back once again with her legs spread.
Ai now had the grace to blush at being exposed to her companion, but Sayu didn’t want to let her get away with that for long. Grabbing lightly at her wrist, she drew the girl’s eyes to her own. “If you don’t do something to me soon…”
Almost before she could get all the words out, Ai slid up to capture her lips in another kiss. Sayumi gave a short cry at the sudden movement, but soon the feel of the girl completely on top of her took over.
Ai didn’t spend much time at her mouth though before kissing down the middle of her neck and the valley between her breasts. Sayumi gave a short gurgle of disappointment that she ignored the nipples, but Ai’s advance soon calmed any of that.
Down her stomach to her belly button, and on down from there. Sayumi did her best to keep from squirming, embarrassed at how sensitive she was while imagining Ai’s abs. Mmm.. abs…
When Ai reached the hem of her panties she trailed slow kisses along them as her fingers hooked into the elastic. Sayumi eagerly lifted her hips as they began to be pulled down, and Ai followed them with her lips past the thin bush and on down her thigh.
Sayumi awkwardly tried to kick the underwear off, but Ai had to help her. Afterward, she grabbed at the girl’s light-colored hair to pull her between her legs. Ai easily resisted her though, instead grinning up at her while pushing her legs further apart. “Easy now,” she teased. “I’ll take good care of you.”
“You better,” Sayumi growled in desperation, before relaxing her legs in hopes the girl would keep to her promise.
Boy, she sure did.
The first thing Sayumi felt was a slow lick along her slit, and she could certainly no longer relax. Ai held her legs down as she nibbled at the flaps over her entrance, and it was a good thing she did so. When her tongue poked inside, Sayumi began grinding herself against the girl’s mouth as well.
Looking down at the sight of Ai’s hair bouncing as her face buried itself into her crotch, Sayumi nearly exploded right there in amazement at what was happening. It was truly like a dream come true. A really hentai dream. From a real hentai. Yep, that was Sayumi.
Then she really did explode.
…
The next time she opened her eyes, she stared up into soft features that relaxed in relief. “I thought you’d passed out…” Ai said worriedly.
“I did,” Sayumi replied, eyes wide as they gazed dreamily upward. “I was in Heaven…”
“Um…” Ai mumbled, starting to look very uncomfortable now.
But then Sayumi’s eyes focused onto her own, and the bunny smiled. “I still am.”
This time Ai completely blushed, but Sayumi barely saw it as she pulled her down for a deeply tender kiss. As they kissed, Sayumi made sure to squeeze her tightly, feel as much warm flesh as she could. It felt like Ai did the same. Then she did her best to roll over, finally managing to come out atop the shorter yet older woman. Breaking the kiss, Sayumi looked down into her eyes.
“You really are my prince,” she said with a wide smile. When Ai smiled fondly back, she continued, twirling a finger into her boyish locks, “And you’re one of the few girls I know who would completely take that as a compliment.”
“What can I say?” Ai replied. “I guess I’m just one of the boys.”
Sayumi immediately flashed a wicked grin that wiped the smile from Ai’s features. Then she thrust her hand down between the other’s legs, though above her panties. When she began to rub slow and hard, the other gasped.
“I beg to differ,” Sayumi said in a low voice, and leaned down to kiss the other’s neck.
As Ai began breathing heavily, Sayumi sucked gently at her neck. She made her way deliberately down her collarbone until she reached the top of her chest. The suctioning kisses then continued up the soft flesh to her nipple, which Sayumi vacuumed greedily between her lips.
Ai now began moaning at Sayumi’s aggressive sucking, not to mention the pressure between her legs, but Sayumi herself was presented with a dilemma. She was afraid her tongue wasn’t yet adequate for what Ai had just done to her, so instead of risking embarrassment – whether Ai actually complained or not was not even a factor – she wedged her fingers underneath the elastic of her panties, cupping her soft mound for a moment before sliding down to her moist prize.
Ai’s body now tensed and almost arched, and Sayu’s envy at its strength almost overcame her. Well, to the point where she became even more aggressive with her actions at least. Sucking as hard as she could, even biting from time to time, she wasted no time in thrusting a finger in past Ai’s folds.
Ai cried out – very un-princely – time and time again as Sayumi sucked and thrust. After Sayumi switched to her other nipple only moments passed before the girl convulsed, fluid seeping out to drench Sayumi’s fingers – and Ai’s panties. Sayumi didn’t stop though, and after a minute Ai came once again.
“Sayumi…” Ai breathed, moaned, cried out desperately. “I can’t…”
With a plop, Sayumi’s lips detached from her nipple. “You can’t what, Ai-chan?” she asked with a smirk, pulling the cum-covered hand out of her panties and bringing it to her mouth as she sat straddling Ai’s waist. She peered at the shining liquid a moment before sticking a finger fully in to suck it dry.
Ai gulped beneath her.
Sayumi wasn’t done yet.
Scooting back, she grabbed Ai’s soaked panties roughly and pulled them down her legs, Ai giving cute little yelps as she tried to maneuver her legs to help. Then Sayu held the fabric up to her face, inhaling in a long sniff.
“You’re gross, you know that,” Ai said, finally sounding amused.
“Oh really?” Sayumi replied. “And who just came twice into her panties and onto my fingers?”
Ai went scarlet, but Sayumi threw the garment aside and leaned down to lie comfortably beside her lover. One leg straddled the others’, and her burning loins pressed comfortably against the side of Ai’s hip. Still incredibly horny, Sayumi humped it slowly, the taut muscles feeling wonderful against her, and making it damp as well with her own seeping moisture.
Kissing Ai’s cheekbone, she played her still-damp fingers along the girl’s lips. “I love you, Ai-chan,” she said over and over, as she one by one slipped each finger into her mouth. Then she lifted her head and kissed Ai’s moist lips.
“So,” Sayumi breathed, just above the other’s face. “How many questions do you still have left to ask?”
Ai smiled at her, reaching up to brush strands of silky black hair behind her ear and down her back. “Well…” she began, and Sayumi lightly kissed her nose.
“Yes?” the bunny replied, eyes sparkling.
“Maybe one less.”
At the response, Sayumi snuggled her face into the crook of Ai’s neck. “Ai-chan…” she purred.
“Mmm?”
“Make love to me again.”
“As you wish.”
…
…Kakkoii.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Love's Obsession (1)
"Did you forget to bring your phone today?"
A colleague asks as she notices that I didn't place my mobile on the table during lunch. The rest of my coworkers stares my way their interest piqued by the ongoing conversation.
"No. I just didn't bring it along. Left it in my drawer."
Seeing their perplexed expressions, I continued.
"There isn't a need to bring it since I don't get any messages."
Shrugging my shoulders and flashing a wry smile, I lowered my head and starting tucking into the food in front of me. In no time, the trio of ladies too began work on their lunch while their fingers danced over the keypad of their shiny blackberry cellphones. Watching them smile and grin at their screens, I force myself to concentrate on the plate of unappetizing rice.
It's okay. It won't hurt anymore one day.
-----
I swing the door close after stepping into the quiet apartment. The clock strikes 9.30 as I hang my keys on the little hook in the wall and kick off my shoes. Walking further into my empty home, I place my bag on the dinner room chair and head into my room. Thankfully my family members are away and I didn't have to content with answering stupid questions tonight. I'm exhausted from working overtime and the pounding in my head isn't helping matters.
Too tired physically to shower, I stripped off my outer coat and tossed it in a corner. The laundry will just have to wait till I'm feeling better. Realizing that I'm quite soaked from the sudden storm which had drenched me from head to toe, I decided to not ruin my bed and just settle by sleeping on the floor. Taking a pillow and resting it on the floor, I laid down on it.
Lying down on my side, I closed and eyes and waited for sleep to kick in. Unfortunately sleep did not take me and I reopened my eyes to search for my medication. Removing tablets of different colors from their packaging, I threw them into my mouth and swallowed a whole cup of water. I hated pills and it irritated me to have to take them on a daily basis.
The throbbing in my head seemed to lighten and the medicine seemed to help the stabbing pain in my stomach. Now if only the nausea would stop too. Lying down on my left side once more, I stared into the whitewashed wall until the image of a familiar raven haired girl appeared.
"Did you only just get home?"
I nodded wordlessly as our eyes locked. Feeling my orbs turn moist, I blinked repeated to stop my tears from flowing.
"I only have you. I wish I could hold you. It hurts...so much."
My words didn't make sense and no one would be able to understand what I was trying to say. Yet the new arrival didn't have to ask to know what I meant.
"I know it's painful but it will stop one day. I will be where you want me to be and I will do what you want me to do."
"Really?"
I replied with my voice wavering. I was desperate, lost and hurting. My entire being hoped that my heart and mind could forget everything that was tormenting me. That I could escape the physical pain that my body was subjected to.
"Promise. Now close your eyes and sleep. Feel better tomorrow."
I stared at her again, my vision transfixed on her beautiful features.
"Please never leave me..."
Those were the last words I remembered uttering as I drifted off to an uneasy sleep.
A colleague asks as she notices that I didn't place my mobile on the table during lunch. The rest of my coworkers stares my way their interest piqued by the ongoing conversation.
"No. I just didn't bring it along. Left it in my drawer."
Seeing their perplexed expressions, I continued.
"There isn't a need to bring it since I don't get any messages."
Shrugging my shoulders and flashing a wry smile, I lowered my head and starting tucking into the food in front of me. In no time, the trio of ladies too began work on their lunch while their fingers danced over the keypad of their shiny blackberry cellphones. Watching them smile and grin at their screens, I force myself to concentrate on the plate of unappetizing rice.
It's okay. It won't hurt anymore one day.
-----
I swing the door close after stepping into the quiet apartment. The clock strikes 9.30 as I hang my keys on the little hook in the wall and kick off my shoes. Walking further into my empty home, I place my bag on the dinner room chair and head into my room. Thankfully my family members are away and I didn't have to content with answering stupid questions tonight. I'm exhausted from working overtime and the pounding in my head isn't helping matters.
Too tired physically to shower, I stripped off my outer coat and tossed it in a corner. The laundry will just have to wait till I'm feeling better. Realizing that I'm quite soaked from the sudden storm which had drenched me from head to toe, I decided to not ruin my bed and just settle by sleeping on the floor. Taking a pillow and resting it on the floor, I laid down on it.
Lying down on my side, I closed and eyes and waited for sleep to kick in. Unfortunately sleep did not take me and I reopened my eyes to search for my medication. Removing tablets of different colors from their packaging, I threw them into my mouth and swallowed a whole cup of water. I hated pills and it irritated me to have to take them on a daily basis.
The throbbing in my head seemed to lighten and the medicine seemed to help the stabbing pain in my stomach. Now if only the nausea would stop too. Lying down on my left side once more, I stared into the whitewashed wall until the image of a familiar raven haired girl appeared.
"Did you only just get home?"
I nodded wordlessly as our eyes locked. Feeling my orbs turn moist, I blinked repeated to stop my tears from flowing.
"I only have you. I wish I could hold you. It hurts...so much."
My words didn't make sense and no one would be able to understand what I was trying to say. Yet the new arrival didn't have to ask to know what I meant.
"I know it's painful but it will stop one day. I will be where you want me to be and I will do what you want me to do."
"Really?"
I replied with my voice wavering. I was desperate, lost and hurting. My entire being hoped that my heart and mind could forget everything that was tormenting me. That I could escape the physical pain that my body was subjected to.
"Promise. Now close your eyes and sleep. Feel better tomorrow."
I stared at her again, my vision transfixed on her beautiful features.
"Please never leave me..."
Those were the last words I remembered uttering as I drifted off to an uneasy sleep.
Friday, July 8, 2011
二
其实自己也不明白为何会喜欢上小爱。虽然她非常的完美。只少在我眼里是这样。
「新垣，这份报告很赶。今天内一定要准备好。」
「是。」
老板的一句话又把我想准时下班的打算扰乱了。 为何要我来收拾其他人惹得货？难道我就那么好欺负。明明是一肚子的不满却还是乖乖的答应了。
8：30pm
足足比我应该收工的时间迟了3个钟头。看样子今晚一定不够睡。
将报告放好在老板的桌子上后就开始收拾包包。希望巴士和地铁能早些到。不知为何开始有一些不舒服。头晕晕的，肚子也一阵阵地刺痛。
走出办公室才法现原来老天爷在落泪。真是不走运。雨伞借给了个同事又忘记跟她拿会。没办法，就先淋雨吧。
「真狼狈，阿垣变成落汤鸡了。」
在等巴士时传了个短讯给小龟。雨一直没停，巴士也很久没到。突然觉得很孤单。 除了小龟之外，我也没几个朋友。 就算想跟她聊天也困难。因为毕竟她还在读书。不能期望她会很快的回付我的短讯。
不知到小爱现在在做什么，肯定不是在想我。冷笑了一下，然后对着远方发呆。不知不觉得回想起我们四个人刚认识的起情景。
小爱和小龟是在网上论坛认识的。而我会跟小爱有接触是因为小龟的缘故。就因为一次我和小龟出去吃晚餐的时候，她叫上了高桥爱。
本来我的人生是多么的的平凡。但当我介绍了以为是好友的田中丽奈给她们以后，一切都改变了。我的人生，再也回不到重前那样。
「新垣，这份报告很赶。今天内一定要准备好。」
「是。」
老板的一句话又把我想准时下班的打算扰乱了。 为何要我来收拾其他人惹得货？难道我就那么好欺负。明明是一肚子的不满却还是乖乖的答应了。
8：30pm
足足比我应该收工的时间迟了3个钟头。看样子今晚一定不够睡。
将报告放好在老板的桌子上后就开始收拾包包。希望巴士和地铁能早些到。不知为何开始有一些不舒服。头晕晕的，肚子也一阵阵地刺痛。
走出办公室才法现原来老天爷在落泪。真是不走运。雨伞借给了个同事又忘记跟她拿会。没办法，就先淋雨吧。
「真狼狈，阿垣变成落汤鸡了。」
在等巴士时传了个短讯给小龟。雨一直没停，巴士也很久没到。突然觉得很孤单。 除了小龟之外，我也没几个朋友。 就算想跟她聊天也困难。因为毕竟她还在读书。不能期望她会很快的回付我的短讯。
不知到小爱现在在做什么，肯定不是在想我。冷笑了一下，然后对着远方发呆。不知不觉得回想起我们四个人刚认识的起情景。
小爱和小龟是在网上论坛认识的。而我会跟小爱有接触是因为小龟的缘故。就因为一次我和小龟出去吃晚餐的时候，她叫上了高桥爱。
本来我的人生是多么的的平凡。但当我介绍了以为是好友的田中丽奈给她们以后，一切都改变了。我的人生，再也回不到重前那样。
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Last Thing on My Mind
Last Thing On My Mind
“Happy day! Good boy! Charming girl! Go yeah! 3, 2, 1 Go! Oki Doki Yeah!”
The lights in the recording studio slowly turned brighter and Risa could see the three others in the room more clearly. Saki and Chisato grinned back at her shyly while her youngest teammate and admirer, Aika hurried to pack up her song sheets amidst the ruffling of papers.
“Nigakii-san, can I share a cab home with you?”
Smiling at the younger, Risa nodded her head kindly and reached out to pat her head. She had always known that Aika had a soft spot for her and the girl didn’t make a secret of how much she adored her senpai. From the first day she was officially conferred the title of Morning Musume member, she had told interview cameras how much she wanted to meet Risa. To her, this senpai had the warmest smile, kindest actions and most sensitive soul.
“Sure, there’s no need to rush. Take your time, I’ll wait for you outside.”
The bright smile that lit up on Aika’s face told her that little gesture was enough to make the young girl’s whole week. She watched for a little while as Aika concentrated on putting her papers back in numerical order. Being a hard worker who was constantly neat and structured in all ways, Risa could guess what came next. True enough, whipping out a light pink plastic folder with little hearts on it out of her bag, Aika arranged the papers in a tight stack before carefully slotting them in.
In the hallway outside the room, Risa stuck one hand into her rather large bag and felt around for her cell phone. It was a daily routine, to check the device for messages or missed calls after a session of work. Many of the other members in the extensive Hello! Project family had commented on her love for big bags and often advised her to switch to a smaller one. Be it to lessen the weight that had to be carried around or simply to shorten the time she needed to find things from it. However, Risa liked big bags. They provided her with a sense of security and was handy to dump in everything she needed, or not, quickly. Finally locating the said object, she read the mail that had been received some minutes ago. It was from her manager.
Please proceed to the cultural hall after the recording session. You have to take over Kamei-san for the evening show with Takahashi-san.
“Eh, isn’t that recording Sayumin, Kamei-chan and Ai-chan’s work?”
Pressing the voice call back button, she heard the familiar ringing tone and waited for the other end to pick up. At this moment, the two C-ute members walked past and gave her a goodbye wave. Raising her hand, she returned the action with a smile as the phone line connected.
“Moshi-moshi, manager-san? Why am I taking over the evening cultural show?”
-----
“Hey, how are you feeling?”
Her eyes slowly fluttered open, and she recognized immediately the face of the shadowy figure crouched down in front of her. Sitting on the same sofa that she was lying on, the body of the other girl was near, so close that she could feel the reassuring warmth that was radiating off her.
“Mmmm, my stomach hurts.”
“Awwww, poor Kamei.”
Leaning down further, she hugged her kouhai gently and pressed her cheek on the turtle girl’s slightly chubby ones in a bid to comfort her. She knew the girl liked to be hugged and babied. Especially now that she was feeling sick, a concerned and supportive presence was better medication than any prescription.
Snuggling closer to her, Eri let out a contented sigh and enjoyed being held in this position. She had always like the feeling of being embraced. But she only derived pleasure from it if the action was presented by a select few.
The comfortable tranquility was broken a few minutes later when the older girl suddenly remembered her upcoming duty. Pushing herself off the sofa, she noticed the closed eyes of the ill teenager and assumed she had fallen asleep. Making her way across the dressing room, she headed for the way out when she abruptly stopped in her tracks. Pulling open one metal door of a row of lockers situated near the exit, she took out a gray jacket and turned back to lay the warm garment over the sleeping figure. Sweeping the bangs away from her face, she murmured in a low voice.
“Have a good rest Kamei-chan. I’ll see you later.”
Unbeknownst to her, the sleeping girl wasn’t in that deep a slumber, and she could feel all that went on from the laying of the coat to her senpai’s warm touch. As she stood up to leave the room once more, the image of her retreating back was deeply implanted into Eri’s hazy mind.
“Gaki-san…”
-----
There was still a little time before recording for the segment of the cultural event started proper. As staff members and technical crew busied about trying to take care of last minute situations and emergencies, two young ladies sat in mental folding chairs at the side of the hall, awaiting further instructions.
“Ah, it’s been some a while since we had time alone.”
Smiling at her companion sitting beside her, she watched as the older girl flipped through the pages of yet another novel. She appeared to be deep in thought, devouring every word of the thick paperback. So much so that she didn’t seem to have heard the words of her lonely friend.
“Ai-chan?”
She tried again, hoping against hope that maybe for once, her frequently busy fellow gokkie member had time to pay some attention to her.
“What is it Gaki-san?”
“I was just saying that it’s rare for us to have time together, without the rest.”
Nodding absentmindedly, Ai turned a page and continued reading, barely registering what was being said. She only got this novel yesterday and already she could not bear to put it down. She was thankful there was this free interval in between shooting to catch up on it.
“How was recording with Sayumin?”
Risa remembered seeing Sayumi dash into an awaiting cab outside the building when she first arrived at the cultural hall. The pink bon-bons in her long and black, shampoo commercial worthy hair swished wildly after her. To pose such a question was almost as bad as talking about the weather or asking if someone had eaten. Nevertheless, it didn’t matter to Risa if the subject was shallow or of no importance. She just wanted to have a conversation with Ai-chan. She needed to be reassured that their relationship was safe. That they were still best friends despite the recent nagging feeling in the back of her mind that they have grown apart. Sometimes she wondered if she was solely responsible for the current state of affairs? Did her newfound rapport with Eri somehow drive a wedge between their visibly strained relations?
“We have an upcoming free day, why don’t we…”
“Gaki-san.”
Her tone was cold and slightly exasperated. It didn’t take a genius to know that she was getting irritated. Watching the movement of her hands as she always did, Risa saw them clench tighter at the cover of the book, a sure sign that Ai was trying to conceal her mounting dissatisfaction.
“I’m sorry but could we continue this after work? ”
Nodding back with a thin smile, Risa forced herself to turn away and watch the passing workers instead. The intermittent tugging at her heart got stronger and she knew if her gaze lingered on Ai for another second, she would surely burst into tears. That was a definite big no-no in the crowded central portion of the hall. Such an action would no doubt attract stares and gossip. Especially at a time when Morning Musume was facing intense media scrutiny for Fujimoto’s scandal with a comedian and the evident downward spiral of the group’s popularity and sales.
Risa, get a grip. You can’t lose it now. The team can’t take another hit.
With her eyes closed and repeating those words to herself, Risa didn’t even hear the PA yell for her to get into position. Filming has formally started. Glancing around quickly to regain her bearings, her vision caught sight of Ai standing in the middle of the compound. And the gaze she was giving her shot an extremely cold jolt through Risa’s heart.
-----
“This year, the icebergs in the Artic are melting faster than ever before….”
Focused intently on Ai who was speaking into the camera in a professional manner, Risa marveled at the noticeable change in her within the short period between her appointment from sub to actual leader. From the slightly hesitant and quiet oldest fifth generation member to the self-assured leader of today, Ai’s transformation has been great.
“Wildlife like polar bears are facing extinction and it is up to humans to put a stop…”
Ai’s new hairstyle, the alteration in her tone of voice when she talked in public, and the newfound self-confidence that exuded from her doe-like eyes. Risa wondered where she had been when Ai experienced all these changes. Wasn’t she right there all along, beside Ai and giving her the much-needed boost when she needed it? Or maybe she wasn’t. Perhaps Ai didn’t feel that the remaining member of their cohort had been providing the adequate support. That would explain the chilling look she had received earlier.
Lost in her own thoughts, she almost forgot to follow up on Ai’s section with her own prepared speech. The frantic waving of the PA just managed to capture her attention in time.
“As Ai-chan has said, the poor polar bears really need our help. Aren’t they too cute not too?”
The live program progressed without a hitch and filming was almost due to complete with the director motioning for the last five minutes. By now, a rather large crowd had gathered around to watch the filming proceedings and the noise level got increasingly louder. Making use of her excellent eyesight, Risa scanned the faces of the public standing around in clusters as Ai continued talking about some other species that should be saved in addition to the fluffy white bears. Out of the corner of her eye, Risa became aware of a man dressed in a long white robe and glasses. He was staring intently at Ai and the strange look in his eyes made Risa feel uneasy.
Observing him further, she saw him reach into his coat pocket and pull out a shiny object. What happened next took place like a slow moving black and white film. The man charged towards Ai, banishing the sharp knife maniacally ahead. Instinctively, Risa pushed Ai out of harm’s way. She was going to jump away after her but it was too late. The cold steel sliced into her flesh as the man brutally plunged the weapon into her abdomen.
Screams erupted throughout the venue and people ran frantically in various directions trying to escape the savage and insane criminal. Afraid that he might go on to hurt more people indiscriminately, security personnel hastily ushered members of the public to safety while others chased after the crazed killer.
Crawling over to Risa who was lying several feet away, Ai hands shook when she saw the extent of Risa’s injury. Blood spewed out endlessly and she was growing paler by the second.
“Ga…ki..gaki-san…”
Never in her wildest nightmares did Ai ever think that she would face such a situation. She sat there in a daze, her legs weak as she tried in vain to recover from the shock. The noise died down to a silent drone as Risa’s body started to shut down. She could no longer hear anything and light was fading fast as her eyelids grew heavy. Still, her mind was filled full with thoughts of Ai.
Ai-chan, was she alright?
Struggling to reopen her lead-laden lids and make sure she was safe, Risa reached out weakly to try and find Ai.
“Ai-chan….”
Her voice was feeble, much too soft to be heard over the racket in the hall. But Ai heard her. She was at last convalesced adequately to make sense of what was happening. Stretching out her hand to close the distance between them, the two friends were just about to reach each other when Risa’s hand dropped with a small thud onto the hard floor.
“Gaki-san?”
“Happy day! Good boy! Charming girl! Go yeah! 3, 2, 1 Go! Oki Doki Yeah!”
The lights in the recording studio slowly turned brighter and Risa could see the three others in the room more clearly. Saki and Chisato grinned back at her shyly while her youngest teammate and admirer, Aika hurried to pack up her song sheets amidst the ruffling of papers.
“Nigakii-san, can I share a cab home with you?”
Smiling at the younger, Risa nodded her head kindly and reached out to pat her head. She had always known that Aika had a soft spot for her and the girl didn’t make a secret of how much she adored her senpai. From the first day she was officially conferred the title of Morning Musume member, she had told interview cameras how much she wanted to meet Risa. To her, this senpai had the warmest smile, kindest actions and most sensitive soul.
“Sure, there’s no need to rush. Take your time, I’ll wait for you outside.”
The bright smile that lit up on Aika’s face told her that little gesture was enough to make the young girl’s whole week. She watched for a little while as Aika concentrated on putting her papers back in numerical order. Being a hard worker who was constantly neat and structured in all ways, Risa could guess what came next. True enough, whipping out a light pink plastic folder with little hearts on it out of her bag, Aika arranged the papers in a tight stack before carefully slotting them in.
In the hallway outside the room, Risa stuck one hand into her rather large bag and felt around for her cell phone. It was a daily routine, to check the device for messages or missed calls after a session of work. Many of the other members in the extensive Hello! Project family had commented on her love for big bags and often advised her to switch to a smaller one. Be it to lessen the weight that had to be carried around or simply to shorten the time she needed to find things from it. However, Risa liked big bags. They provided her with a sense of security and was handy to dump in everything she needed, or not, quickly. Finally locating the said object, she read the mail that had been received some minutes ago. It was from her manager.
Please proceed to the cultural hall after the recording session. You have to take over Kamei-san for the evening show with Takahashi-san.
“Eh, isn’t that recording Sayumin, Kamei-chan and Ai-chan’s work?”
Pressing the voice call back button, she heard the familiar ringing tone and waited for the other end to pick up. At this moment, the two C-ute members walked past and gave her a goodbye wave. Raising her hand, she returned the action with a smile as the phone line connected.
“Moshi-moshi, manager-san? Why am I taking over the evening cultural show?”
-----
“Hey, how are you feeling?”
Her eyes slowly fluttered open, and she recognized immediately the face of the shadowy figure crouched down in front of her. Sitting on the same sofa that she was lying on, the body of the other girl was near, so close that she could feel the reassuring warmth that was radiating off her.
“Mmmm, my stomach hurts.”
“Awwww, poor Kamei.”
Leaning down further, she hugged her kouhai gently and pressed her cheek on the turtle girl’s slightly chubby ones in a bid to comfort her. She knew the girl liked to be hugged and babied. Especially now that she was feeling sick, a concerned and supportive presence was better medication than any prescription.
Snuggling closer to her, Eri let out a contented sigh and enjoyed being held in this position. She had always like the feeling of being embraced. But she only derived pleasure from it if the action was presented by a select few.
The comfortable tranquility was broken a few minutes later when the older girl suddenly remembered her upcoming duty. Pushing herself off the sofa, she noticed the closed eyes of the ill teenager and assumed she had fallen asleep. Making her way across the dressing room, she headed for the way out when she abruptly stopped in her tracks. Pulling open one metal door of a row of lockers situated near the exit, she took out a gray jacket and turned back to lay the warm garment over the sleeping figure. Sweeping the bangs away from her face, she murmured in a low voice.
“Have a good rest Kamei-chan. I’ll see you later.”
Unbeknownst to her, the sleeping girl wasn’t in that deep a slumber, and she could feel all that went on from the laying of the coat to her senpai’s warm touch. As she stood up to leave the room once more, the image of her retreating back was deeply implanted into Eri’s hazy mind.
“Gaki-san…”
-----
There was still a little time before recording for the segment of the cultural event started proper. As staff members and technical crew busied about trying to take care of last minute situations and emergencies, two young ladies sat in mental folding chairs at the side of the hall, awaiting further instructions.
“Ah, it’s been some a while since we had time alone.”
Smiling at her companion sitting beside her, she watched as the older girl flipped through the pages of yet another novel. She appeared to be deep in thought, devouring every word of the thick paperback. So much so that she didn’t seem to have heard the words of her lonely friend.
“Ai-chan?”
She tried again, hoping against hope that maybe for once, her frequently busy fellow gokkie member had time to pay some attention to her.
“What is it Gaki-san?”
“I was just saying that it’s rare for us to have time together, without the rest.”
Nodding absentmindedly, Ai turned a page and continued reading, barely registering what was being said. She only got this novel yesterday and already she could not bear to put it down. She was thankful there was this free interval in between shooting to catch up on it.
“How was recording with Sayumin?”
Risa remembered seeing Sayumi dash into an awaiting cab outside the building when she first arrived at the cultural hall. The pink bon-bons in her long and black, shampoo commercial worthy hair swished wildly after her. To pose such a question was almost as bad as talking about the weather or asking if someone had eaten. Nevertheless, it didn’t matter to Risa if the subject was shallow or of no importance. She just wanted to have a conversation with Ai-chan. She needed to be reassured that their relationship was safe. That they were still best friends despite the recent nagging feeling in the back of her mind that they have grown apart. Sometimes she wondered if she was solely responsible for the current state of affairs? Did her newfound rapport with Eri somehow drive a wedge between their visibly strained relations?
“We have an upcoming free day, why don’t we…”
“Gaki-san.”
Her tone was cold and slightly exasperated. It didn’t take a genius to know that she was getting irritated. Watching the movement of her hands as she always did, Risa saw them clench tighter at the cover of the book, a sure sign that Ai was trying to conceal her mounting dissatisfaction.
“I’m sorry but could we continue this after work? ”
Nodding back with a thin smile, Risa forced herself to turn away and watch the passing workers instead. The intermittent tugging at her heart got stronger and she knew if her gaze lingered on Ai for another second, she would surely burst into tears. That was a definite big no-no in the crowded central portion of the hall. Such an action would no doubt attract stares and gossip. Especially at a time when Morning Musume was facing intense media scrutiny for Fujimoto’s scandal with a comedian and the evident downward spiral of the group’s popularity and sales.
Risa, get a grip. You can’t lose it now. The team can’t take another hit.
With her eyes closed and repeating those words to herself, Risa didn’t even hear the PA yell for her to get into position. Filming has formally started. Glancing around quickly to regain her bearings, her vision caught sight of Ai standing in the middle of the compound. And the gaze she was giving her shot an extremely cold jolt through Risa’s heart.
-----
“This year, the icebergs in the Artic are melting faster than ever before….”
Focused intently on Ai who was speaking into the camera in a professional manner, Risa marveled at the noticeable change in her within the short period between her appointment from sub to actual leader. From the slightly hesitant and quiet oldest fifth generation member to the self-assured leader of today, Ai’s transformation has been great.
“Wildlife like polar bears are facing extinction and it is up to humans to put a stop…”
Ai’s new hairstyle, the alteration in her tone of voice when she talked in public, and the newfound self-confidence that exuded from her doe-like eyes. Risa wondered where she had been when Ai experienced all these changes. Wasn’t she right there all along, beside Ai and giving her the much-needed boost when she needed it? Or maybe she wasn’t. Perhaps Ai didn’t feel that the remaining member of their cohort had been providing the adequate support. That would explain the chilling look she had received earlier.
Lost in her own thoughts, she almost forgot to follow up on Ai’s section with her own prepared speech. The frantic waving of the PA just managed to capture her attention in time.
“As Ai-chan has said, the poor polar bears really need our help. Aren’t they too cute not too?”
The live program progressed without a hitch and filming was almost due to complete with the director motioning for the last five minutes. By now, a rather large crowd had gathered around to watch the filming proceedings and the noise level got increasingly louder. Making use of her excellent eyesight, Risa scanned the faces of the public standing around in clusters as Ai continued talking about some other species that should be saved in addition to the fluffy white bears. Out of the corner of her eye, Risa became aware of a man dressed in a long white robe and glasses. He was staring intently at Ai and the strange look in his eyes made Risa feel uneasy.
Observing him further, she saw him reach into his coat pocket and pull out a shiny object. What happened next took place like a slow moving black and white film. The man charged towards Ai, banishing the sharp knife maniacally ahead. Instinctively, Risa pushed Ai out of harm’s way. She was going to jump away after her but it was too late. The cold steel sliced into her flesh as the man brutally plunged the weapon into her abdomen.
Screams erupted throughout the venue and people ran frantically in various directions trying to escape the savage and insane criminal. Afraid that he might go on to hurt more people indiscriminately, security personnel hastily ushered members of the public to safety while others chased after the crazed killer.
Crawling over to Risa who was lying several feet away, Ai hands shook when she saw the extent of Risa’s injury. Blood spewed out endlessly and she was growing paler by the second.
“Ga…ki..gaki-san…”
Never in her wildest nightmares did Ai ever think that she would face such a situation. She sat there in a daze, her legs weak as she tried in vain to recover from the shock. The noise died down to a silent drone as Risa’s body started to shut down. She could no longer hear anything and light was fading fast as her eyelids grew heavy. Still, her mind was filled full with thoughts of Ai.
Ai-chan, was she alright?
Struggling to reopen her lead-laden lids and make sure she was safe, Risa reached out weakly to try and find Ai.
“Ai-chan….”
Her voice was feeble, much too soft to be heard over the racket in the hall. But Ai heard her. She was at last convalesced adequately to make sense of what was happening. Stretching out her hand to close the distance between them, the two friends were just about to reach each other when Risa’s hand dropped with a small thud onto the hard floor.
“Gaki-san?”
-----
Most number of posts in a month and all in a day. Ahhhh this will never happen again.
Never My Intention
Never My Intention
The ominous roar of thunder startled her and she looked up unwittingly to stare at the overcast sky. The gray fluffy clouds blocked out the sun and gave all below it a gloomy atmosphere. Much like the depressing weather, she was feeling miserable and in low spirits. The only heartening emotion she felt was from the reassuring warmth emitting from the arm latched tightly around her own. Glancing to her right, she saw the jubilant face of fellow member and close friend, Niigaki Risa.
“We should do this more often.”
Talking to no one in particular, Risa was voicing her thoughts of how she felt after the preceding couple of hours they had spent together. Since the early afternoon, they had visited the trendiest shops selling the season’s most fashionable clothing, tasted some renowned curry, took a walk in the park where Sakura petals floated down all around them and taken some colorful purikura while pulling a bunch of funny faces. It was indeed a relaxing day well spent with no rushing about for performances practices, television recordings or costume fittings.
“Hm.”
Her answer was short and didn’t even constitute a word. Her less than enthusiastic answer not only surprised Risa, but herself as well. The enquiring look consisting of a quirked eyebrow and questioning glance spoke volumes and she looked away to avoid answering Risa. She didn’t know why she was behaving like this. The day was a usual one for them and she almost always felt blissful to have someone like Risa there to spend it with. Sure, the girl could be loud, noisy and boisterous. But she knew when to tone it down and could be a good listener when she wanted to be. A prime example was when she was recently embroiled in a tabloid issue that was thankfully rather low profile. The topic was based on a relationship she had ongoing whist starting out in the industry, or so the magazine claimed. While it didn’t warrant any drastic measures by the company, it didn’t make her feel any better. She was fortunate to have had good friends who stood by her and comforted her when she needed it most. And she would never forget it.
“I’m sorry. I was distracted.”
It wasn’t entirely a lie, and Risa seemed to accept it with no further comments. And so the matter was left to be. As her friend turned to speak with the other figure walking on the far end, she noticed how sweetly Risa was smiling. The object of her attention was their leader and the undisputed talent of the group, Takahashi Ai.
-----
The rain was falling in huge torrent like drops that splattered against the window of the speeding cab. Inside the cozy compartment, two feminine figures sat sharing the backseat. There was silence as neither offered to speak. Unexpectedly, the driver wasn’t talkative nor did he try any lame pick-up lines on the attractive girls. The only sound came from the crackly radio and the splash of water as the vehicle’s wheels rolled over puddles of water.
“Toshiyuki! There has been a pileup along the Tokyo Highway.”
“What happened?”
The driver’s voice was evidently laced with gratefulness at not being one of those involved in the disaster.
“Some new driver turned into the wrong lane..”
“New drivers, they always manage to cause problems for others.”
In the front, the driver slapped at his steering wheel agitatedly as he turned into a side road that led to the girls’ destination. At the back, one of them started rummaging through her bag and throwing out random items in the process.
“What are you looking for Eri?”
Becoming aware of her sudden and frantic actions, her companion voiced her concern at Eri’s pale face.
“My phone! I can’t find it!”
“Did you leave it at the restaurant?”
Shifting in her seat, Ai tried to see if the phone had accidentally slipped between the seats or if it had fallen onto the vehicle floor.
“Lend me yours! Hurry!”
The emergency in Eri’s voice made Ai fish out her own device hurriedly and pass it to Eri’s shaking hands.
“Are you alright Eri? Did something happen?”
Punching at the illuminated buttons, Eri brought the earpiece to her ear and waited anxiously for the line to connect.
“The subscriber you can calling is unable to…”
“I can’t get her! I can’t contact Gaki-san!”
“What are you saying Eri? Calm down.”
Grabbing onto Eri’s hands, Ai pulled the younger girl closer in an attempt to calm her down. Eri’s behavior frightened her but she had to maintain her composure and act like a reliable, mature woman in front of her teammate.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I think Gaki-san could be involved in that accident.”
Pointing to the radio, Eri’s eyes turned red and her eyes glazed over with tears as she spoke.
“Gaki-san’s going to Azabu. She wouldn’t have to pass through the expressway.”
Patting Eri’s lap, Ai gave her a reassuring smile. So Eri was worried about Risa. That would explain her strange reaction earlier. However the episode was uncalled for since Risa was safe being nowhere near the accident area.
“She lied.”
“What?!”
“She was going to get your birthday present, not collect her mother’s laundry. She would have to pass through the highway.”
A sick feeling of dread surged up within Ai. The rocking of the cab along with the trepidation of what Eri had said made her feel like puking. Gripping onto the side of the seat, Ai dug her fingers into the soft leather material. Eri’s words kept repeating in her mind and she couldn’t shake the premonition that something bad was going to happen.
It couldn’t, Gaki-san couldn’t have…
Squeezing her eyes shut, Ai contemplated her choices. She could go home and wait for Risa to call her like she always did, or she could make her way to the highway and see for herself that Risa wasn’t any where in danger. Looking at Eri, who had by now brought her knees up to her chest and had her head buried in them, Ai made her decision.
“Please head for Tokyo highway.”
-----
The line of cars went on for miles due to the traffic jam caused by the pileup. In their taxi, Ai and Eri couldn’t see what was happening in the front. Their anxiety was only made worse by the heavy rain beating against the roof of the vehicle and the conversation going on between the driver and his colleague.
“I heard it’s pretty serious. There’s a rumor that a talent or something was one of the passengers.”
Hearing those words, Eri gasped loudly and a fresh round of tears entered her eyes. She looked at Ai with an expression that pleaded for her to do something, anything in the current situation. Her own thoughts in a mess, Ai tried to determine the most appropriate course of action. Except that Risa wasn’t by her side, and she needed her. In her daily life, Ai couldn’t function properly without Risa giving her suggestions or helping her out. Now she felt helpless, she felt lost, but most of all, she felt scared.
You have to be alright Gaki-san. You have to be.
Pulling at the lever to release the door, Ai pushed it open and got out of the car. Outside, the world seemed to be colored in a single shade of gray as the rain and darkened sky meshed as one. In her relatively high boots, Ai started to run. She sprinted with all her strength towards the start of the line of cars where the accident had occurred. Focusing solely on reaching her destination quickly, she cleared her mind so nothing could sway her resolve or hinder her pace. She couldn’t hear Eri screaming at the back for her to slow down or the bursts of honking by the cars stranded on the highway at rush hour. All she could hear was Risa’s familiar and distinctive voice.
I will always be here for you Ai-chan. Whenever you need me.
-----
The scene was absolutely horrifying. The masses of wrecked metal, smell of burnt flesh and splintering of glass beneath her feet made Ai feel queasy. She wanted to turn back and leave the scene of such violent destruction. It wasn’t a place she should be in. But then again, it wasn’t a place Risa should be in either. Yes, she was here to locate Risa, and she wasn’t leaving without her.
“Ai-chan.”
Out of nowhere, Eri appeared beside her and held on to her coat. Together, they made their way cautiously to the nearest cab. The mangled sedan lay on its side, every piece of glass shattered by the impact of the crash. Lowering her head to peer into the interior, Ai heaved a silent sigh of relief that Risa wasn’t in it. Two more futile attempts later, Ai was beginning to think that perhaps Eri was wrong after all. And Risa never came this way.
“Ai-chan…it’s.. Gaki-san’s purse.”
Bending down to reach for the sequined object, Ai recognized it as one of Risa’s favorite purses. Nevertheless she refused to believe it belonged to her dear friend. A design like this was common and very popular, there was a high chance that it belonged to some other woman. Even so, the telling evidence was the little Mickey Mouse ornament dangling from the handle and the yellow letter R hanging below it.
No… This can’t be true.
Holding the torn and filthy bag in her hands, Ai cried. For the first time since hearing about the accident, she let go. Keeping up the image of leader was no longer important, singing and dancing well was no longer vital. Nothing mattered anymore. Because the only thing that truly mattered, is no longer here.
“Ai-chan you can’t give up! Gaki-san wouldn’t give up!”
There was renewed vigor in Eri’s voice. The turtle girl was only in name. In reality, Eri was more outgoing than she ever was. The new her was a result of Morning Musume, a product of self-confidence and a consequence of having Risa around. Since GAKIKAME commenced, Eri found herself hanging out more frequently with her senior. To her, Risa was a good friend, someone as important as Sayumi was. And she wasn’t going to believe that Risa was a person who would go down without a fight. Braving the relentless rain, Eri continued scouring the surroundings for any sign of Risa.
I’m gonna chase you to the ends of the world Gaki-san.
Walking apprehensively up to the last overturned automobile, Eri prayed. God wouldn’t be so cruel as to take Risa away from them, from her. On the other side, sitting on the curb and holding onto her arm, was Risa.
“GAKI-SAN!”
Running to kneel down before her, Eri enveloped Risa in a smothering hug. Tears sprung once more from her already swollen eyes.
“Promise me you’ll never get hurt. Promise me you’ll never fall sick. Promise me that you’ll never leave me!”
“Pokepoke pu, I’m fine.”
With her good arm, Risa hugged Eri back. The joy of feeling Risa’s arm around her waist was indescribable and Eri didn’t want to ever let go. Only she had to.
“Ai-chan.”
“Gaki-san...”
Reluctantly moving aside, Eri made way for Ai to hug Risa. Seeing their contact with each other, the identical sense of despair she felt earlier in the day came flooding back. Ai had practically attached herself onto Risa without leaving any inch of space between them. Her hands had somehow come into contact with Risa’s wound, which made the youngest of the fifth generation wince. But other than that, Risa didn’t seem to mind being caught in Ai’s rigid embrace. There was no exchange of words but it was clear that none was needed.
It was still raining and the cold rain seeped beneath her clothes and cooled her exhausted body. Her hair was a mess and so was her make-up. But Eri didn’t care about those insignificant details. Standing apart from her seniors, she finally realized the cause for her dejected disposition.
The clothes she saw today weren’t as stunning as they should be. The meal she had and the Sakura she saw weren’t as tasty or breathtaking as they should’ve been. Today wasn’t a usual one for her, nor was it enjoyable simply because, Ai was there. It shouldn’t have happened but it did.
It was never my intention, but I fell in love with you, Niigaki Risa.
The ominous roar of thunder startled her and she looked up unwittingly to stare at the overcast sky. The gray fluffy clouds blocked out the sun and gave all below it a gloomy atmosphere. Much like the depressing weather, she was feeling miserable and in low spirits. The only heartening emotion she felt was from the reassuring warmth emitting from the arm latched tightly around her own. Glancing to her right, she saw the jubilant face of fellow member and close friend, Niigaki Risa.
“We should do this more often.”
Talking to no one in particular, Risa was voicing her thoughts of how she felt after the preceding couple of hours they had spent together. Since the early afternoon, they had visited the trendiest shops selling the season’s most fashionable clothing, tasted some renowned curry, took a walk in the park where Sakura petals floated down all around them and taken some colorful purikura while pulling a bunch of funny faces. It was indeed a relaxing day well spent with no rushing about for performances practices, television recordings or costume fittings.
“Hm.”
Her answer was short and didn’t even constitute a word. Her less than enthusiastic answer not only surprised Risa, but herself as well. The enquiring look consisting of a quirked eyebrow and questioning glance spoke volumes and she looked away to avoid answering Risa. She didn’t know why she was behaving like this. The day was a usual one for them and she almost always felt blissful to have someone like Risa there to spend it with. Sure, the girl could be loud, noisy and boisterous. But she knew when to tone it down and could be a good listener when she wanted to be. A prime example was when she was recently embroiled in a tabloid issue that was thankfully rather low profile. The topic was based on a relationship she had ongoing whist starting out in the industry, or so the magazine claimed. While it didn’t warrant any drastic measures by the company, it didn’t make her feel any better. She was fortunate to have had good friends who stood by her and comforted her when she needed it most. And she would never forget it.
“I’m sorry. I was distracted.”
It wasn’t entirely a lie, and Risa seemed to accept it with no further comments. And so the matter was left to be. As her friend turned to speak with the other figure walking on the far end, she noticed how sweetly Risa was smiling. The object of her attention was their leader and the undisputed talent of the group, Takahashi Ai.
-----
The rain was falling in huge torrent like drops that splattered against the window of the speeding cab. Inside the cozy compartment, two feminine figures sat sharing the backseat. There was silence as neither offered to speak. Unexpectedly, the driver wasn’t talkative nor did he try any lame pick-up lines on the attractive girls. The only sound came from the crackly radio and the splash of water as the vehicle’s wheels rolled over puddles of water.
“Toshiyuki! There has been a pileup along the Tokyo Highway.”
“What happened?”
The driver’s voice was evidently laced with gratefulness at not being one of those involved in the disaster.
“Some new driver turned into the wrong lane..”
“New drivers, they always manage to cause problems for others.”
In the front, the driver slapped at his steering wheel agitatedly as he turned into a side road that led to the girls’ destination. At the back, one of them started rummaging through her bag and throwing out random items in the process.
“What are you looking for Eri?”
Becoming aware of her sudden and frantic actions, her companion voiced her concern at Eri’s pale face.
“My phone! I can’t find it!”
“Did you leave it at the restaurant?”
Shifting in her seat, Ai tried to see if the phone had accidentally slipped between the seats or if it had fallen onto the vehicle floor.
“Lend me yours! Hurry!”
The emergency in Eri’s voice made Ai fish out her own device hurriedly and pass it to Eri’s shaking hands.
“Are you alright Eri? Did something happen?”
Punching at the illuminated buttons, Eri brought the earpiece to her ear and waited anxiously for the line to connect.
“The subscriber you can calling is unable to…”
“I can’t get her! I can’t contact Gaki-san!”
“What are you saying Eri? Calm down.”
Grabbing onto Eri’s hands, Ai pulled the younger girl closer in an attempt to calm her down. Eri’s behavior frightened her but she had to maintain her composure and act like a reliable, mature woman in front of her teammate.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I think Gaki-san could be involved in that accident.”
Pointing to the radio, Eri’s eyes turned red and her eyes glazed over with tears as she spoke.
“Gaki-san’s going to Azabu. She wouldn’t have to pass through the expressway.”
Patting Eri’s lap, Ai gave her a reassuring smile. So Eri was worried about Risa. That would explain her strange reaction earlier. However the episode was uncalled for since Risa was safe being nowhere near the accident area.
“She lied.”
“What?!”
“She was going to get your birthday present, not collect her mother’s laundry. She would have to pass through the highway.”
A sick feeling of dread surged up within Ai. The rocking of the cab along with the trepidation of what Eri had said made her feel like puking. Gripping onto the side of the seat, Ai dug her fingers into the soft leather material. Eri’s words kept repeating in her mind and she couldn’t shake the premonition that something bad was going to happen.
It couldn’t, Gaki-san couldn’t have…
Squeezing her eyes shut, Ai contemplated her choices. She could go home and wait for Risa to call her like she always did, or she could make her way to the highway and see for herself that Risa wasn’t any where in danger. Looking at Eri, who had by now brought her knees up to her chest and had her head buried in them, Ai made her decision.
“Please head for Tokyo highway.”
-----
The line of cars went on for miles due to the traffic jam caused by the pileup. In their taxi, Ai and Eri couldn’t see what was happening in the front. Their anxiety was only made worse by the heavy rain beating against the roof of the vehicle and the conversation going on between the driver and his colleague.
“I heard it’s pretty serious. There’s a rumor that a talent or something was one of the passengers.”
Hearing those words, Eri gasped loudly and a fresh round of tears entered her eyes. She looked at Ai with an expression that pleaded for her to do something, anything in the current situation. Her own thoughts in a mess, Ai tried to determine the most appropriate course of action. Except that Risa wasn’t by her side, and she needed her. In her daily life, Ai couldn’t function properly without Risa giving her suggestions or helping her out. Now she felt helpless, she felt lost, but most of all, she felt scared.
You have to be alright Gaki-san. You have to be.
Pulling at the lever to release the door, Ai pushed it open and got out of the car. Outside, the world seemed to be colored in a single shade of gray as the rain and darkened sky meshed as one. In her relatively high boots, Ai started to run. She sprinted with all her strength towards the start of the line of cars where the accident had occurred. Focusing solely on reaching her destination quickly, she cleared her mind so nothing could sway her resolve or hinder her pace. She couldn’t hear Eri screaming at the back for her to slow down or the bursts of honking by the cars stranded on the highway at rush hour. All she could hear was Risa’s familiar and distinctive voice.
I will always be here for you Ai-chan. Whenever you need me.
-----
The scene was absolutely horrifying. The masses of wrecked metal, smell of burnt flesh and splintering of glass beneath her feet made Ai feel queasy. She wanted to turn back and leave the scene of such violent destruction. It wasn’t a place she should be in. But then again, it wasn’t a place Risa should be in either. Yes, she was here to locate Risa, and she wasn’t leaving without her.
“Ai-chan.”
Out of nowhere, Eri appeared beside her and held on to her coat. Together, they made their way cautiously to the nearest cab. The mangled sedan lay on its side, every piece of glass shattered by the impact of the crash. Lowering her head to peer into the interior, Ai heaved a silent sigh of relief that Risa wasn’t in it. Two more futile attempts later, Ai was beginning to think that perhaps Eri was wrong after all. And Risa never came this way.
“Ai-chan…it’s.. Gaki-san’s purse.”
Bending down to reach for the sequined object, Ai recognized it as one of Risa’s favorite purses. Nevertheless she refused to believe it belonged to her dear friend. A design like this was common and very popular, there was a high chance that it belonged to some other woman. Even so, the telling evidence was the little Mickey Mouse ornament dangling from the handle and the yellow letter R hanging below it.
No… This can’t be true.
Holding the torn and filthy bag in her hands, Ai cried. For the first time since hearing about the accident, she let go. Keeping up the image of leader was no longer important, singing and dancing well was no longer vital. Nothing mattered anymore. Because the only thing that truly mattered, is no longer here.
“Ai-chan you can’t give up! Gaki-san wouldn’t give up!”
There was renewed vigor in Eri’s voice. The turtle girl was only in name. In reality, Eri was more outgoing than she ever was. The new her was a result of Morning Musume, a product of self-confidence and a consequence of having Risa around. Since GAKIKAME commenced, Eri found herself hanging out more frequently with her senior. To her, Risa was a good friend, someone as important as Sayumi was. And she wasn’t going to believe that Risa was a person who would go down without a fight. Braving the relentless rain, Eri continued scouring the surroundings for any sign of Risa.
I’m gonna chase you to the ends of the world Gaki-san.
Walking apprehensively up to the last overturned automobile, Eri prayed. God wouldn’t be so cruel as to take Risa away from them, from her. On the other side, sitting on the curb and holding onto her arm, was Risa.
“GAKI-SAN!”
Running to kneel down before her, Eri enveloped Risa in a smothering hug. Tears sprung once more from her already swollen eyes.
“Promise me you’ll never get hurt. Promise me you’ll never fall sick. Promise me that you’ll never leave me!”
“Pokepoke pu, I’m fine.”
With her good arm, Risa hugged Eri back. The joy of feeling Risa’s arm around her waist was indescribable and Eri didn’t want to ever let go. Only she had to.
“Ai-chan.”
“Gaki-san...”
Reluctantly moving aside, Eri made way for Ai to hug Risa. Seeing their contact with each other, the identical sense of despair she felt earlier in the day came flooding back. Ai had practically attached herself onto Risa without leaving any inch of space between them. Her hands had somehow come into contact with Risa’s wound, which made the youngest of the fifth generation wince. But other than that, Risa didn’t seem to mind being caught in Ai’s rigid embrace. There was no exchange of words but it was clear that none was needed.
It was still raining and the cold rain seeped beneath her clothes and cooled her exhausted body. Her hair was a mess and so was her make-up. But Eri didn’t care about those insignificant details. Standing apart from her seniors, she finally realized the cause for her dejected disposition.
The clothes she saw today weren’t as stunning as they should be. The meal she had and the Sakura she saw weren’t as tasty or breathtaking as they should’ve been. Today wasn’t a usual one for her, nor was it enjoyable simply because, Ai was there. It shouldn’t have happened but it did.
It was never my intention, but I fell in love with you, Niigaki Risa.
Room In My Heart
Room in My Heart [Sakura Mankai Edition]
It was early morning on a particular day and the sun shone down with rays of the early spring sun. Nonetheless the skies have yet to brighten fully. Having rained the night before, a thin veil of mist hung in the air achieving a foggy atmosphere. Walking along the path weaving through the deserted and tranquil park, Niigaki Risa hummed a Morning Musume song softly as she swung the small paper bag in her hand to be in step with her movements.
It looks to be a beautiful day.
Her thoughts were however interrupted by the melodious chimes emitting from the cell phone buried snugly in her coat pocket.
Who could be calling this early?
Baffled, Risa reached one hand into the said pocket and searched for the gadget among the wades of money she had stuffed in previously. When she finally managed to fish out the small silver object, the picture that lighted on the external screen told her who the person messaging was. Flicking the phone open with one hand, Risa read the short message.
Ne Gaki-san where are you? I’m already at the studio and I’m early!
Smiling slightly as she imagined Eri’s triumphant grin saying those words, Risa typed a quick reply with her carefully manicured thumb in response to her childish friend.
I was at the studio before and now I’m outside getting our breakfast
I got you milk bread. Since I’m earlier, you are still considered late Kame 
Her phone sounded again no sooner after Risa had taken a few more steps along the narrow pebble path.
Why, why, WHY? How could Gaki-san be earlier? It’s not fair!
Where are you anyway?
At the park nearby, I’ll be back soon. Don’t get all whiny on me again all right?
Shaking her head and laughing, Risa was visibly amused by Eri’s cute and funny messages. Interaction with Eri first thing in the morning could put a person in high spirits. It was amazing how Eri possessed the natural ability to make someone happier just by existing in the same realm. Be it her words, actions or funny expressions, they all had a heartening effect on everyone around. Perhaps this was why Eri was so constantly popular among all members (and ex-members) of the group. Even the notorious Fujimoto Miki loved having Eri around.
Parallel and across from where Risa was standing, a lone figure was walking towards the same clearing where the sub-leader of Morning Musume was headed. Every park that saw Sakura trees bloom had a special area designated for admiring the flowers. It was unplanned but Takahashi Ai had overheard the morning news on the radio that her mother had left blasting in the kitchen. Listening in to the chirpy voice of the announcer, she was enlightened with the knowledge that the Sakura trees were flowering early this year and today was the highly anticipated first bloom.
Thrilled that it happened to be her day off work, Ai decided it would be befitting to catch the trees in full bloom since it was such a rare occasion. At the unearthly hour, there weren’t many people up and about and Ai knew this. Hence she didn’t bother putting on make-up or drawing her eyebrows painstakingly. All she did was pull a hat low over her eyes to hide her recognizable face from overzealous fans. At last inside the compound, Ai saw a single flower float leisurely pass her eyes.
Ah, it’s starting. The trees are beginning to blossom!
Quickening her steps, Ai hurried towards the center of the park where the strategic clearing lay and prepared herself mentally for getting to soon observe the thousands of Sakura flowers falling simultaneously. However, less than a kilometer away, Ai stopped abruptly in her tracks when she thought she saw someone familiar.
Gaki-san?
Seeing the image of her long time friend and teammate, Ai at once recalled that Risa had a radio recording to do this morning. And the location was none other than the building in close proximity to this very park. Why didn’t she think of inviting Risa along to watch the first bloom? It made sense since like herself, Risa loved the Sakura and was almost always especially excited when spring rolled around. Except for the fact that she had an adverse allergy to pollen, which required her to wear a mask and carry medication around faithfully.
Yes, she would call out to Risa when she got nearer and they could spend some time alone together taking pleasure from the customary Japanese tradition. Even so, fate seemed resolved to play with the alluring young woman, and unfortunately, Ai didn’t have the slightest inkling that what started out as a cheerful day would end with her feeling much worse that she had in a long time.
“Gaki…san.”
Her words came out barely louder than a whisper and the excitement that she had felt earlier before vanished in a matter of seconds when Ai saw the sequence of events unfolding before her eyes. She didn’t know why but her first reaction was to dart behind the nearest Sakura tree and hide herself from the unsuspecting pair further ahead.
“Ne, Ne Gaki-san!!”
Her eyes wide with surprise, Risa twirled around rapidly when she heard a voice she had become highly accustomed to.
“Kame?! What are you doing here?”
“To accompany you of course. It’s not very fun watching the first bloom by yourself is it?”
Latching herself onto Risa’s free arm, Eri snuggled up closer to feel the warmth of her newest best friend. The chilly morning air could get pretty cold even during this time of the year.
“Kame being considerate, that’s a first.”
Raising her head to gaze at the tiny flowers that had began to flutter in the soft breeze, Risa closed her eyes to savor the moment. It wasn’t every day that you could be lucky enough to observe the first bloom.
With one of her senses inactive, naturally the rest would be put on high alert. Beside her, Risa could feel Eri shivering. It was just like Eri to not wear thicker clothing to keep herself warm. She was reaching twenty years of age and yet she was still behaving like a child most of the time. No one would have guessed that the two were of the exact same age.
Freeing herself from Eri’s hold, Risa spread open both arms to wrap the younger in an affectionate embrace, after which she proceeded to rub her down in an attempt to keep Eri warm.
“Ne, Gaki-san this feels nice.”
Closing her eyes and inching to eliminate all and any distance between them, Eri smiled contentedly into the front of Risa’s down-filled coat. The early morning, cool surroundings and lying in the arms of a warm huggy bean was the perfect environment for falling asleep. Sensing her eyelids growing heavy with each passing second, Eri didn’t try to resist the drowsiness that was creeping up upon her.
“Don’t even think of falling asleep Kame. We have to get back to the studio in a bit.”
“Hmmm…”
The lazy turtle girl didn’t try replying much, she was enjoying tremendously every instant of this wondrous feeling to bother with anything else.
Away from the two, Ai witnessed the entire turn of events. She didn’t want to think that way or admit it but nevertheless, she felt her stomach twist into tiny little knots and her breathing relegate into short sharp gasps. Risa was aware of their similar interests and the fact that she had a day off today. Why didn’t she ask her along to watch the Sakura? Instead she had come with Eri, ERI!.
Staring at the oldest Rokkie who had by now undoubtedly fallen asleep in Risa’s arms, Ai inadvertently started to grind her teeth.
It should’ve been me! Perhaps if I had been quicker to confess…
Casting her eyes downwards, Ai stared hard at the ground until the numerous pebbles started blending into each other to form a blurry mesh of gray. The tears rolling down her face stung with each draft of the bitter wind and the resulting smarting pain on her cheeks echoed what she felt in her heart.
Fill the room in my heart soon, Gaki-san. Don’t let me forget how much I love you.
It was early morning on a particular day and the sun shone down with rays of the early spring sun. Nonetheless the skies have yet to brighten fully. Having rained the night before, a thin veil of mist hung in the air achieving a foggy atmosphere. Walking along the path weaving through the deserted and tranquil park, Niigaki Risa hummed a Morning Musume song softly as she swung the small paper bag in her hand to be in step with her movements.
It looks to be a beautiful day.
Her thoughts were however interrupted by the melodious chimes emitting from the cell phone buried snugly in her coat pocket.
Who could be calling this early?
Baffled, Risa reached one hand into the said pocket and searched for the gadget among the wades of money she had stuffed in previously. When she finally managed to fish out the small silver object, the picture that lighted on the external screen told her who the person messaging was. Flicking the phone open with one hand, Risa read the short message.
Ne Gaki-san where are you? I’m already at the studio and I’m early!
Smiling slightly as she imagined Eri’s triumphant grin saying those words, Risa typed a quick reply with her carefully manicured thumb in response to her childish friend.
I was at the studio before and now I’m outside getting our breakfast
I got you milk bread. Since I’m earlier, you are still considered late Kame Her phone sounded again no sooner after Risa had taken a few more steps along the narrow pebble path.
Why, why, WHY? How could Gaki-san be earlier? It’s not fair!
Where are you anyway?At the park nearby, I’ll be back soon. Don’t get all whiny on me again all right?
Shaking her head and laughing, Risa was visibly amused by Eri’s cute and funny messages. Interaction with Eri first thing in the morning could put a person in high spirits. It was amazing how Eri possessed the natural ability to make someone happier just by existing in the same realm. Be it her words, actions or funny expressions, they all had a heartening effect on everyone around. Perhaps this was why Eri was so constantly popular among all members (and ex-members) of the group. Even the notorious Fujimoto Miki loved having Eri around.
Parallel and across from where Risa was standing, a lone figure was walking towards the same clearing where the sub-leader of Morning Musume was headed. Every park that saw Sakura trees bloom had a special area designated for admiring the flowers. It was unplanned but Takahashi Ai had overheard the morning news on the radio that her mother had left blasting in the kitchen. Listening in to the chirpy voice of the announcer, she was enlightened with the knowledge that the Sakura trees were flowering early this year and today was the highly anticipated first bloom.
Thrilled that it happened to be her day off work, Ai decided it would be befitting to catch the trees in full bloom since it was such a rare occasion. At the unearthly hour, there weren’t many people up and about and Ai knew this. Hence she didn’t bother putting on make-up or drawing her eyebrows painstakingly. All she did was pull a hat low over her eyes to hide her recognizable face from overzealous fans. At last inside the compound, Ai saw a single flower float leisurely pass her eyes.
Ah, it’s starting. The trees are beginning to blossom!
Quickening her steps, Ai hurried towards the center of the park where the strategic clearing lay and prepared herself mentally for getting to soon observe the thousands of Sakura flowers falling simultaneously. However, less than a kilometer away, Ai stopped abruptly in her tracks when she thought she saw someone familiar.
Gaki-san?
Seeing the image of her long time friend and teammate, Ai at once recalled that Risa had a radio recording to do this morning. And the location was none other than the building in close proximity to this very park. Why didn’t she think of inviting Risa along to watch the first bloom? It made sense since like herself, Risa loved the Sakura and was almost always especially excited when spring rolled around. Except for the fact that she had an adverse allergy to pollen, which required her to wear a mask and carry medication around faithfully.
Yes, she would call out to Risa when she got nearer and they could spend some time alone together taking pleasure from the customary Japanese tradition. Even so, fate seemed resolved to play with the alluring young woman, and unfortunately, Ai didn’t have the slightest inkling that what started out as a cheerful day would end with her feeling much worse that she had in a long time.
“Gaki…san.”
Her words came out barely louder than a whisper and the excitement that she had felt earlier before vanished in a matter of seconds when Ai saw the sequence of events unfolding before her eyes. She didn’t know why but her first reaction was to dart behind the nearest Sakura tree and hide herself from the unsuspecting pair further ahead.
“Ne, Ne Gaki-san!!”
Her eyes wide with surprise, Risa twirled around rapidly when she heard a voice she had become highly accustomed to.
“Kame?! What are you doing here?”
“To accompany you of course. It’s not very fun watching the first bloom by yourself is it?”
Latching herself onto Risa’s free arm, Eri snuggled up closer to feel the warmth of her newest best friend. The chilly morning air could get pretty cold even during this time of the year.
“Kame being considerate, that’s a first.”
Raising her head to gaze at the tiny flowers that had began to flutter in the soft breeze, Risa closed her eyes to savor the moment. It wasn’t every day that you could be lucky enough to observe the first bloom.
With one of her senses inactive, naturally the rest would be put on high alert. Beside her, Risa could feel Eri shivering. It was just like Eri to not wear thicker clothing to keep herself warm. She was reaching twenty years of age and yet she was still behaving like a child most of the time. No one would have guessed that the two were of the exact same age.
Freeing herself from Eri’s hold, Risa spread open both arms to wrap the younger in an affectionate embrace, after which she proceeded to rub her down in an attempt to keep Eri warm.
“Ne, Gaki-san this feels nice.”
Closing her eyes and inching to eliminate all and any distance between them, Eri smiled contentedly into the front of Risa’s down-filled coat. The early morning, cool surroundings and lying in the arms of a warm huggy bean was the perfect environment for falling asleep. Sensing her eyelids growing heavy with each passing second, Eri didn’t try to resist the drowsiness that was creeping up upon her.
“Don’t even think of falling asleep Kame. We have to get back to the studio in a bit.”
“Hmmm…”
The lazy turtle girl didn’t try replying much, she was enjoying tremendously every instant of this wondrous feeling to bother with anything else.
Away from the two, Ai witnessed the entire turn of events. She didn’t want to think that way or admit it but nevertheless, she felt her stomach twist into tiny little knots and her breathing relegate into short sharp gasps. Risa was aware of their similar interests and the fact that she had a day off today. Why didn’t she ask her along to watch the Sakura? Instead she had come with Eri, ERI!.
Staring at the oldest Rokkie who had by now undoubtedly fallen asleep in Risa’s arms, Ai inadvertently started to grind her teeth.
It should’ve been me! Perhaps if I had been quicker to confess…
Casting her eyes downwards, Ai stared hard at the ground until the numerous pebbles started blending into each other to form a blurry mesh of gray. The tears rolling down her face stung with each draft of the bitter wind and the resulting smarting pain on her cheeks echoed what she felt in her heart.
Fill the room in my heart soon, Gaki-san. Don’t let me forget how much I love you.
Priceless Gift
Priceless Gift
"Risa, you have a phone call!"
"Hai!"
Running down the stairs from her bedroom on the second floor, Risa hopped down two steps at a time to get to the phone situated on a small table in the hallway quicker. Her hair was still wrapped in a green towel after taking a warm bath as she picked up the receiver of the telephone designed in a Victorian era theme and put the earpiece to her ear.
"Moshi moshi?"
"Gaki-san, I'm at the shopping complex near your home. I think it's the ii building... or the one next to it."
"Sayumin?"
Surprised that Sayumi was calling so early in the week of their highly anticipated vacation off work, and even more so when she said she was in Yokohama, Risa couldn't conceal the astonishment in her voice. The huge mirror hanging on the wall serving as an display ornament captured and reflected her expression for all to see.
"What are you doing in Yokohama?"
"It's Eri. She wanted to come up here saying it's been some time since she last visited. She also said there was some good shopping to do. After waiting over 40 minutes for her, I couldn't stand it anymore and called to hurry her only to realize she was still asleep. It wouldn't be possible for her to make it from Tokyo with any substantial time left for us to do anything."
The voice on the other end sounded like a deflated balloon and Risa couldn't help but feel sorry for Sayumi. Eri had a tendency to forget about the feelings of others once in a while and more often than not, the person whom she unwittingly hurt was none other than her best friend.
"Breathe Sayumin."
"Sorry, I got a little agitated. But I was wondering if you might wanna meet up. You could show me the place and tell me all about the rollercoaster...or was it the cinema, that you were gushing about on Music Fighter."
Deciding to cheer Sayumi up by teasing her to get some sort of reaction, mean (evil?) or otherwise was better than a dejected Rokkie.
"So I'm like the back-up? Plan B? Spare tyre?"
"Gaki-san~~! I came all the way from Yamaguchi. I could treat you to lunch?"
Desperate to not ruin her day by spending it alone in an unfamiliar prefecture of Japan, Sayumi tried her darnest to convince Risa to accompany her for the day. Little did she know that Risa had already planned to come out and meet her.
"Okay, okay, I'll be there in 45 minutes."
-----
She said she was around here someplace.
Looking back and forth, Risa searched for Sayumi's presence. It was a weekday and usually at this time of the day, most people were at work or in school. Hence it was supposed to be easy tracking down somebody in the mall. Especially so when spotting someone like Sayumi who wasn't exactly short or lacked in the looks department. Sayumi on most days would effortlessly make anyone do a double take. Walking along the path outside a random row of shops, Risa caught sight of a girl dressed in a white coat that reached her knees and a navy blue newsboy hat. Deciding to scare her friend by surprising her from the back, Risa crept quietly up to Sayumi and was about to pounce on her when she noticed Sayumi carefully scrutinizing a particular magazine.
"She chosed Ai-chan..."
"Boo!"
"Kyaaaaaaaaaa!!"
Surprised by the sudden appearance of Risa, Sayumi dropped the magazine she was reading face down onto a stack of various other books and magazines that were placed beneath her outstretched hands.
"You scared me."
"That was the idea. Glad to see that I accomplished that feat so easily."
"Very funny Gaki-san."
Rolling her eyes then narrowing them at Risa, Sayumi momentarily forgot about the fallen magazine. The radient smiling faces
of nine girls imprinted on the cover of the digest made Risa reach out for it. After picking it up, she realized it was the latest issue
of Kindai which had done an interview on them, Morning Musume.
"Hey that's us. I didn't know it was released already."
Flipping to the page that their feature was on, Risa completely missed the guilty look Sayumi had.
"Let's buy it."
At the counter where the salesgirl had scanned the barcode and slipped the magazine into a small brown paperbag, Risa casually asked Sayumi to pick up the tab.
"Do you happen to have small change Sayumi?"
Digging in her purse for the small zipper pouch where she kept all her coins, Sayumi grumbled loud enough for Risa to hear.
"Why am I paying for something you're buying?"
Taking the paperbag with one hand and putting the other through Sayumi's arm, Risa pulled her towards the exit in search of a nice venue for lunch.
"Because I'm getting it for you silly. You seemed like you wanted it."
Gulping at Risa's statement, Sayumi pretended not to hear it and instead made a show out of craning her neck and looking for a desirable restaurant to rest her feet.
-----
After the food they had ordered came, the two girls spread out the napkin on their laps and picked up their cutlery. They were just about to tuck in when Risa asked.
"So who picked Ai-chan?"
The clank of metal meeting porcelain resonanted throughout the quiet restaurant and a few curious faces looked in their direction to see what the commotion was about. Picking up the shiny fork and knife and resting them mindfully on her plate, Sayumi looked up at Risa.
"You know?"
"Well, I kinda guessed. It's about Kame isn't it?"
And so the next hour or so was spent with Sayumi letting out all her buried grouses at being forgotten by the turtle or being left out when she ran off with Jun Jun or Reina. Risa knew deep inside, Sayumi probably resented her too since she did spend quite a lot of time with Eri as well. However, Sayumi didn't mention her name and Risa was thankful for her thoughtfulness. The atmosphere could get awkward if she did.
"I wish... I just wish she would notice me more. "
"Sayumin..."
Risa didn't know what to say to make Sayumi feel better. It wouldn't really help if she said things will work out. Or that Eri didn't mean it and you are still Eri's best friend. Risa knew the only thing Sayumi would want to hear was that she was the only one in Eri's heart. But Risa couldn't. She was in no position to make decisions for Eri. Heck, she couldn't even settle her own life properly.
"Why didn't you pick anyone Gaki-san? I thought you would surely choose Ai-chan."
Risa jerked her head up the moment she heard Ai's name being mentioned. It was like a natural reflex action for her. This time though, she seemed to crack something.
"Ow, my neck."
"Are you okay? It's just like you to act all clumsy and highly strung when it concerns leader."
Having gone back to making use of her utensils, Sayumi was slicing at her piece of medium rare steak.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh sure you do. I think it's pretty obvious what you feel for Ai-chan."
"She's a friend okay, my best friend."
Looking down at her own steak with her hair falling over her face, Risa didn't want to look Sayumi in the eye. She knew that if she did, all resolve to say something that was the opposite of what she truly felt would crumble.
"Don't lie to yourself Gaki-san, tell Ai-chan if you really like her."
"And? And what? Do you think she would like me back? I rather say none of the members than choose Ai and have her not choose me back. I know she picked Tanakacchi."
Her outburst startled Sayumi and the flood of emotions that were running through Risa at that moment transformed into tears that now flowed freely down her cheeks. It was terrible having to lie. It's a hundred times worse when it meant lying about someone you loved.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."
"Forget it. Let's just continue with the meal."
"How did you..."
As if forgetting about the dangerous boundary she had overstepped just earlier, Sayumi asked another sensitive question.
"...know she chose Reina?"
Sighing as she sank tiredly back into her seat, Risa finally lifted her head.
"Did you have to ask Sayu?"
"I get it. If you don't wanna say..."
"Fine, I'll tell you. I guess it doesn't matter now."
"Koharu went around asking who everyone picked. I kinda overheard Ai-chan and her speaking."
"Ah I see."
There was a long pause as an uncomfortable silence rested upon them. There wasn't even the noise of dishes and cutlery to distract each other as neither girl was eating. It remained like this for some time untill Sayumi decided to speak again.
"If only the one I liked was you Gaki-san."
-----
Stepping out of the restaurant, we were greeted by a strong gust of wind. The weather seemed to change for the worse within the short two hours we were inside the warm restaurant. Grabbing onto my arm, Sayumi snuggled up close to me and led me in a random direction so we could aimlessly kill time till it was dinner. Such were the life of idols on off days. Shopping and eating.
"If we're still unattached by the time we're 30, would you be my girlfriend Gaki-san?"
Out of the blue, Sayumi posed the question as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Her walking didn't skip a beat and neither did she turn to look at me. For a second, I wondered if I was hearing things. The possibility of this happening swirled around in my head. Would I someday see Sayumi as something else other than a close friend or team mate? Could she ever take the place of Ai-chan in my heart? Would I even allow that?
Raising my free hand up to Sayumi's face, I gingerly brushed away the strands of her hair that were blown messy by the erratic wind. We shared a moment and in the depths of her deep ebony eyes, I saw an unmistakable longing. The strong yearning to be loved and appreciated. There was no denying that Sayumi was gorgeous. She had a kind heart and was fiercely loyal and reliable despite everything that had been said about her evil side. It's just that it would take some time, a lengthy time for Ai to be replaced. Afterall, I did love her for almost seven years. I believed it was the same for Sayumi as well. It would take a lot before she could let anyone else into her heart after Kame.
"I might not be able to give you what Kame can, but I will always be here. It's a promise."
"Thank you, Gaki-san."
The genuine and touched smile that appeared on Sayumi's face seemed to light up with the Christmas lights that illuminated the shopping mall's central square. Linking our hands together and entwining our fingers, we stood to watch the light show that was arranged as a celebration to mark the approaching Christmas season.
Maybe when we're 30 Sayumin.
Friendship is a priceless gift that can never be bought, sold or forgotten,
but so is the ability to love somebody, no matter how much pain it brings.
"Risa, you have a phone call!"
"Hai!"
Running down the stairs from her bedroom on the second floor, Risa hopped down two steps at a time to get to the phone situated on a small table in the hallway quicker. Her hair was still wrapped in a green towel after taking a warm bath as she picked up the receiver of the telephone designed in a Victorian era theme and put the earpiece to her ear.
"Moshi moshi?"
"Gaki-san, I'm at the shopping complex near your home. I think it's the ii building... or the one next to it."
"Sayumin?"
Surprised that Sayumi was calling so early in the week of their highly anticipated vacation off work, and even more so when she said she was in Yokohama, Risa couldn't conceal the astonishment in her voice. The huge mirror hanging on the wall serving as an display ornament captured and reflected her expression for all to see.
"What are you doing in Yokohama?"
"It's Eri. She wanted to come up here saying it's been some time since she last visited. She also said there was some good shopping to do. After waiting over 40 minutes for her, I couldn't stand it anymore and called to hurry her only to realize she was still asleep. It wouldn't be possible for her to make it from Tokyo with any substantial time left for us to do anything."
The voice on the other end sounded like a deflated balloon and Risa couldn't help but feel sorry for Sayumi. Eri had a tendency to forget about the feelings of others once in a while and more often than not, the person whom she unwittingly hurt was none other than her best friend.
"Breathe Sayumin."
"Sorry, I got a little agitated. But I was wondering if you might wanna meet up. You could show me the place and tell me all about the rollercoaster...or was it the cinema, that you were gushing about on Music Fighter."
Deciding to cheer Sayumi up by teasing her to get some sort of reaction, mean (evil?) or otherwise was better than a dejected Rokkie.
"So I'm like the back-up? Plan B? Spare tyre?"
"Gaki-san~~! I came all the way from Yamaguchi. I could treat you to lunch?"
Desperate to not ruin her day by spending it alone in an unfamiliar prefecture of Japan, Sayumi tried her darnest to convince Risa to accompany her for the day. Little did she know that Risa had already planned to come out and meet her.
"Okay, okay, I'll be there in 45 minutes."
-----
She said she was around here someplace.
Looking back and forth, Risa searched for Sayumi's presence. It was a weekday and usually at this time of the day, most people were at work or in school. Hence it was supposed to be easy tracking down somebody in the mall. Especially so when spotting someone like Sayumi who wasn't exactly short or lacked in the looks department. Sayumi on most days would effortlessly make anyone do a double take. Walking along the path outside a random row of shops, Risa caught sight of a girl dressed in a white coat that reached her knees and a navy blue newsboy hat. Deciding to scare her friend by surprising her from the back, Risa crept quietly up to Sayumi and was about to pounce on her when she noticed Sayumi carefully scrutinizing a particular magazine.
"She chosed Ai-chan..."
"Boo!"
"Kyaaaaaaaaaa!!"
Surprised by the sudden appearance of Risa, Sayumi dropped the magazine she was reading face down onto a stack of various other books and magazines that were placed beneath her outstretched hands.
"You scared me."
"That was the idea. Glad to see that I accomplished that feat so easily."
"Very funny Gaki-san."
Rolling her eyes then narrowing them at Risa, Sayumi momentarily forgot about the fallen magazine. The radient smiling faces
of nine girls imprinted on the cover of the digest made Risa reach out for it. After picking it up, she realized it was the latest issue
of Kindai which had done an interview on them, Morning Musume.
"Hey that's us. I didn't know it was released already."
Flipping to the page that their feature was on, Risa completely missed the guilty look Sayumi had.
"Let's buy it."
At the counter where the salesgirl had scanned the barcode and slipped the magazine into a small brown paperbag, Risa casually asked Sayumi to pick up the tab.
"Do you happen to have small change Sayumi?"
Digging in her purse for the small zipper pouch where she kept all her coins, Sayumi grumbled loud enough for Risa to hear.
"Why am I paying for something you're buying?"
Taking the paperbag with one hand and putting the other through Sayumi's arm, Risa pulled her towards the exit in search of a nice venue for lunch.
"Because I'm getting it for you silly. You seemed like you wanted it."
Gulping at Risa's statement, Sayumi pretended not to hear it and instead made a show out of craning her neck and looking for a desirable restaurant to rest her feet.
-----
After the food they had ordered came, the two girls spread out the napkin on their laps and picked up their cutlery. They were just about to tuck in when Risa asked.
"So who picked Ai-chan?"
The clank of metal meeting porcelain resonanted throughout the quiet restaurant and a few curious faces looked in their direction to see what the commotion was about. Picking up the shiny fork and knife and resting them mindfully on her plate, Sayumi looked up at Risa.
"You know?"
"Well, I kinda guessed. It's about Kame isn't it?"
And so the next hour or so was spent with Sayumi letting out all her buried grouses at being forgotten by the turtle or being left out when she ran off with Jun Jun or Reina. Risa knew deep inside, Sayumi probably resented her too since she did spend quite a lot of time with Eri as well. However, Sayumi didn't mention her name and Risa was thankful for her thoughtfulness. The atmosphere could get awkward if she did.
"I wish... I just wish she would notice me more. "
"Sayumin..."
Risa didn't know what to say to make Sayumi feel better. It wouldn't really help if she said things will work out. Or that Eri didn't mean it and you are still Eri's best friend. Risa knew the only thing Sayumi would want to hear was that she was the only one in Eri's heart. But Risa couldn't. She was in no position to make decisions for Eri. Heck, she couldn't even settle her own life properly.
"Why didn't you pick anyone Gaki-san? I thought you would surely choose Ai-chan."
Risa jerked her head up the moment she heard Ai's name being mentioned. It was like a natural reflex action for her. This time though, she seemed to crack something.
"Ow, my neck."
"Are you okay? It's just like you to act all clumsy and highly strung when it concerns leader."
Having gone back to making use of her utensils, Sayumi was slicing at her piece of medium rare steak.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh sure you do. I think it's pretty obvious what you feel for Ai-chan."
"She's a friend okay, my best friend."
Looking down at her own steak with her hair falling over her face, Risa didn't want to look Sayumi in the eye. She knew that if she did, all resolve to say something that was the opposite of what she truly felt would crumble.
"Don't lie to yourself Gaki-san, tell Ai-chan if you really like her."
"And? And what? Do you think she would like me back? I rather say none of the members than choose Ai and have her not choose me back. I know she picked Tanakacchi."
Her outburst startled Sayumi and the flood of emotions that were running through Risa at that moment transformed into tears that now flowed freely down her cheeks. It was terrible having to lie. It's a hundred times worse when it meant lying about someone you loved.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."
"Forget it. Let's just continue with the meal."
"How did you..."
As if forgetting about the dangerous boundary she had overstepped just earlier, Sayumi asked another sensitive question.
"...know she chose Reina?"
Sighing as she sank tiredly back into her seat, Risa finally lifted her head.
"Did you have to ask Sayu?"
"I get it. If you don't wanna say..."
"Fine, I'll tell you. I guess it doesn't matter now."
"Koharu went around asking who everyone picked. I kinda overheard Ai-chan and her speaking."
"Ah I see."
There was a long pause as an uncomfortable silence rested upon them. There wasn't even the noise of dishes and cutlery to distract each other as neither girl was eating. It remained like this for some time untill Sayumi decided to speak again.
"If only the one I liked was you Gaki-san."
-----
Stepping out of the restaurant, we were greeted by a strong gust of wind. The weather seemed to change for the worse within the short two hours we were inside the warm restaurant. Grabbing onto my arm, Sayumi snuggled up close to me and led me in a random direction so we could aimlessly kill time till it was dinner. Such were the life of idols on off days. Shopping and eating.
"If we're still unattached by the time we're 30, would you be my girlfriend Gaki-san?"
Out of the blue, Sayumi posed the question as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Her walking didn't skip a beat and neither did she turn to look at me. For a second, I wondered if I was hearing things. The possibility of this happening swirled around in my head. Would I someday see Sayumi as something else other than a close friend or team mate? Could she ever take the place of Ai-chan in my heart? Would I even allow that?
Raising my free hand up to Sayumi's face, I gingerly brushed away the strands of her hair that were blown messy by the erratic wind. We shared a moment and in the depths of her deep ebony eyes, I saw an unmistakable longing. The strong yearning to be loved and appreciated. There was no denying that Sayumi was gorgeous. She had a kind heart and was fiercely loyal and reliable despite everything that had been said about her evil side. It's just that it would take some time, a lengthy time for Ai to be replaced. Afterall, I did love her for almost seven years. I believed it was the same for Sayumi as well. It would take a lot before she could let anyone else into her heart after Kame.
"I might not be able to give you what Kame can, but I will always be here. It's a promise."
"Thank you, Gaki-san."
The genuine and touched smile that appeared on Sayumi's face seemed to light up with the Christmas lights that illuminated the shopping mall's central square. Linking our hands together and entwining our fingers, we stood to watch the light show that was arranged as a celebration to mark the approaching Christmas season.
Maybe when we're 30 Sayumin.
Friendship is a priceless gift that can never be bought, sold or forgotten,
but so is the ability to love somebody, no matter how much pain it brings.
That's When I Love You
That's When I Love You
The dressing room is bustling with activity. It's the same scenario early each morning when a recording for Haromoni@ is about to commence. I can hear Koharu hollering outside in the hallway about someone swiping her packet of Umeboshi sweets, Reina and Aika discussing enthusiastically what the next movie they should be watching is, the pandas going through their scripts in rapid Chinese, Kame helping Shige adjust the hair-tie on her head and finally there is you. You, who looked shyly away when you caught my eye.
When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
That's when I love you
I love you, just that way
Aka-chin tells Kame to say some line to represent a proper Japanese lady for the introduction. She does it, executed beautifully and exploding with adorableness. You watch, smiling and amused by her antics. My throwing segment ends, you are the chosen victim for the batsu game since you guessed the number of tries wrongly. Uncertain of what your punishment would entail, you protest weakly, faltering at trying to escape the penalty. Unable to do so, you stumbled a little in your Yukata as you made your way to the front for that moment in the limelight.
To hear you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
That's when I love you
I love you, endlessly
That same night, we had to film the DVD magazine that was to be released for the Cinderella musical. Morning Musume DVD mag 18, I was excited to shoot it as I knew, I would have you next to me the entire time. The recording proceeded smoothly, everything went according to plan, that is until you lost the game. Reina was awarded the tiara and you were mad, angry but yet still so cute. Watching your complaining face, I remembered the day I stood waiting for you in the rain. Your expression was exactly how I imagined it to be when you cancelled our date over the phone at the last minute.
And when you're mad cuz you lost a game
Forget I'm waiting in the rain
Baby I love you
I love you anyway
"Hime-sama!"
I called out to you, pretending it was all for fun, a term to suit the fairytale theme we were having and the role of Cinderella you were playing. Except it wasn't a pretense. It was for real, my promise that you would be my only princess.
Here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
That's when I love you
When nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you,
When I love you no matter what
The movie was interesting, a little sentimental, a little humorous and a little heartbreaking. It was entertaining, only I enjoyed watching you more. In the darkened cinema hall, my head shifted to watch you every time I was sure you were fully concentrated on the actors on screen. When I see you moved by a touching scene, secretly wiping away a tear that slipped from your eyes, I knew your emotional side was another quality that drew me to you.
So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cuz the movie it made you cry
That's when I love you
I love you a little more each time
"What do you think about this dress? Or this skirt? Would it match what I already have?"
"Would I end up looking like a walking tomato if I wore this with that red top I like so much?"
"Nah, it'll look great on you."
You tried on almost every piece of garment the store carried, determined to find that perfect outfit to end the day. Standing with you by the full-length mirrors, I smile inwardly admiring your trademark grin, feeling fortunate to be the person you look to for reassurance.
And when you can't quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
That's when I love you
I love you, more than you'll know
The sun starts its daily routine of setting in the far horizon, its comfortable orange rays warming my skin. Our meeting time has long passed but you are nowhere to be seen. "Did you forget about our date again?" I wondered out to the random strangers who brushed briskly pass where I was waiting.
"Gomenasai Gaki-san!"
You ran up, panting from running all the way to meet me. Your hair hasn't settled from being blown about by the wind and your clothes are slightly creased. Seeing that apologetic expression on your face, I forgive you again like I always do.
And when you forget that we had a date
Or that look that you give when you show up late
Baby I love you, I love you anyway
I had spaced out while waiting for Reina and Kame, Koharu and the Chinese girls, Sayumin and Aika to finish taping their portions. And while I was dreaming, countless memories of the two of us surfaced in my mind. My most cherished treasure consists of only the precious recollections I have of you.
Here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
That's when I love you
When nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you,
When I love you no matter what
"Ai-chan, we are next."
I creep up on you and position my hands on your shoulders, giving you a surprise massage.
"Already? I still have a few more chapters to go."
Putting down the novel on your seat, the childish pout that appeared after the initial disappointment was replaced by a genuine smile as you sneak your now free hand in mine. Squeezing gently the slim fingers which fitted so well in my palm, I returned the loving gesture.
That's when I love you
When nothing, baby
Nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you,
When I love you, no matter what
I love you, no matter what
No matter what
The dressing room is bustling with activity. It's the same scenario early each morning when a recording for Haromoni@ is about to commence. I can hear Koharu hollering outside in the hallway about someone swiping her packet of Umeboshi sweets, Reina and Aika discussing enthusiastically what the next movie they should be watching is, the pandas going through their scripts in rapid Chinese, Kame helping Shige adjust the hair-tie on her head and finally there is you. You, who looked shyly away when you caught my eye.
When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
That's when I love you
I love you, just that way
Aka-chin tells Kame to say some line to represent a proper Japanese lady for the introduction. She does it, executed beautifully and exploding with adorableness. You watch, smiling and amused by her antics. My throwing segment ends, you are the chosen victim for the batsu game since you guessed the number of tries wrongly. Uncertain of what your punishment would entail, you protest weakly, faltering at trying to escape the penalty. Unable to do so, you stumbled a little in your Yukata as you made your way to the front for that moment in the limelight.
To hear you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
That's when I love you
I love you, endlessly
That same night, we had to film the DVD magazine that was to be released for the Cinderella musical. Morning Musume DVD mag 18, I was excited to shoot it as I knew, I would have you next to me the entire time. The recording proceeded smoothly, everything went according to plan, that is until you lost the game. Reina was awarded the tiara and you were mad, angry but yet still so cute. Watching your complaining face, I remembered the day I stood waiting for you in the rain. Your expression was exactly how I imagined it to be when you cancelled our date over the phone at the last minute.
And when you're mad cuz you lost a game
Forget I'm waiting in the rain
Baby I love you
I love you anyway
"Hime-sama!"
I called out to you, pretending it was all for fun, a term to suit the fairytale theme we were having and the role of Cinderella you were playing. Except it wasn't a pretense. It was for real, my promise that you would be my only princess.
Here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
That's when I love you
When nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you,
When I love you no matter what
The movie was interesting, a little sentimental, a little humorous and a little heartbreaking. It was entertaining, only I enjoyed watching you more. In the darkened cinema hall, my head shifted to watch you every time I was sure you were fully concentrated on the actors on screen. When I see you moved by a touching scene, secretly wiping away a tear that slipped from your eyes, I knew your emotional side was another quality that drew me to you.
So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cuz the movie it made you cry
That's when I love you
I love you a little more each time
"What do you think about this dress? Or this skirt? Would it match what I already have?"
"Would I end up looking like a walking tomato if I wore this with that red top I like so much?"
"Nah, it'll look great on you."
You tried on almost every piece of garment the store carried, determined to find that perfect outfit to end the day. Standing with you by the full-length mirrors, I smile inwardly admiring your trademark grin, feeling fortunate to be the person you look to for reassurance.
And when you can't quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
That's when I love you
I love you, more than you'll know
The sun starts its daily routine of setting in the far horizon, its comfortable orange rays warming my skin. Our meeting time has long passed but you are nowhere to be seen. "Did you forget about our date again?" I wondered out to the random strangers who brushed briskly pass where I was waiting.
"Gomenasai Gaki-san!"
You ran up, panting from running all the way to meet me. Your hair hasn't settled from being blown about by the wind and your clothes are slightly creased. Seeing that apologetic expression on your face, I forgive you again like I always do.
And when you forget that we had a date
Or that look that you give when you show up late
Baby I love you, I love you anyway
I had spaced out while waiting for Reina and Kame, Koharu and the Chinese girls, Sayumin and Aika to finish taping their portions. And while I was dreaming, countless memories of the two of us surfaced in my mind. My most cherished treasure consists of only the precious recollections I have of you.
Here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
That's when I love you
When nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you,
When I love you no matter what
"Ai-chan, we are next."
I creep up on you and position my hands on your shoulders, giving you a surprise massage.
"Already? I still have a few more chapters to go."
Putting down the novel on your seat, the childish pout that appeared after the initial disappointment was replaced by a genuine smile as you sneak your now free hand in mine. Squeezing gently the slim fingers which fitted so well in my palm, I returned the loving gesture.
That's when I love you
When nothing, baby
Nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you,
When I love you, no matter what
I love you, no matter what
No matter what
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