Dear Eri-hime
Happy 23rd birthday!! I still miss you so, so much. If only you came back.
I hope your friends like Sayusuke and Gaki-san other than your family spent this special day with you and you will always be healthy and happy. Don't be sad over your grandpa anymore.
Loving you forever...
With best wishes,
Hammy
Showing posts with label Kamei Eri. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kamei Eri. Show all posts
Friday, December 23, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Yoshitaka Yoriko vs Kamei Eri & Random Ponderings
I saw an episode of Tokyo Dogs and decided I was going to continue watching it. Not because of the 2 supposed hunks in the show, but rather because of the quite cute actress. She was also born in 1988, which makes her the same age as my beloved KameMame..
At first, before I did a search on her, I thought she was at least mid to late twenties. Imagine my surprise when she was so young. Her height is 157 cm, this is really close to Eri, who is 158 cm. However, in my opinion, I find that Kame is much, much cuter than Yoriko.
I don't know if I'm biased, but I really do think so. Even in terms of body proportions, Eririn wins by a mile. And Yoriko seems to have rather thick legs as well. Still, I prefer Eri's thunder thighs. The legs of the turtle are too sexy ^^; *drools just thinking of them*
Because I think that Kame is so darn adorable, it reminds me of the age old question which I have been asking myself all these years. Which of the 3, namely Ai, Eri and Sayumi, would regular females like the most? I don't mean talent, personality or dress sense. I'm talking purely about physical attributes.
I'm inclined to think Eririn will emerge winner, judging by how many haters Ai-chan has XD Then again, minus the narcissistic character portrayer Sayu is so good at, she could be victorious. After all, she does possess awesomely silky jet-black hair. Isn't that a popular hair length and texture? Furthermore, she has the best height standing at 162 cm. She also has that lanky built that should look pretty good with most clothes on. And I love, love, love her milky white skin + those rosy cheeks of hers.
Still, Kame has a body to die (kill) for (I'm addicted to her abs). So does Ai. Yet, I'm guessing that Ai is a tad too short for the average female's taste. ^^;; I just have one issue about the turtle's body. Her toes look a little strange.
Thus in conclusion, assuming it's a package deal, meaning no swapping of heads and bodies XD Looking like Sayu...or Eri, would be a dream come through. Hmmmm...Eri?... or Sayu?? XD
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Loving You Forever
"1,2,1,2. Yes that's the way. Now from the top."
As we returned to our starting positions, I stole a glance at the mirror and saw her reflection. Coincidentally, she chose the same time to look up and our eyes met. Winking at me, she grinned, our secret signal that we will both work hard at the dance steps until we broke for lunch.
Satisfied with her encouragement, I took a deep breath and concentrated. Determined to nail the entire routine before the dance instructor pointed out my mistakes.
"Alright, we'll stop here for now. After lunch, we will start with the second half of the concert songs."
"Hai~! Arigatou."
"You've worked hard!"
After thanking the teacher, everyone started packing up their belongings and heading out of the studio. Similarly, I gathered up my towel and hung it around my neck. Stuffing my jacket into my bag, I zipped it close and got up from my kneeling posture on the wooden floor.
Scanning around the room, I looked for my best friend as we would always go for meals together. Noticing her near the corner, I was about to walk over to her when the manager intercepted my plan.
"Michishige, I need to talk to you about the change in tomorrow's schedule."
Although reluctant, I could not go against the manager's wishes. Catching her gaze, I bowed apologetically.
It's okay. I'll meet you in the dressing room later.
She flashed me an understanding smile and motioned for me to quickly follow the manager before I got an unnecessary nagging.
Some time later, I was the only person left in the room as everyone had gone on for lunch in the cafeteria. Sitting alone in front of the dresser, I glanced repeatedly at my cellphone and wondered why she hadn't appeared. Did she get stopped along the way to discuss about work too?
Mulling over whether I should message or call her, my thumb hovered above the dial button, worried that I might interrupt an important meeting.
At this moment, the door swung open and I turned around in my chair, filled with anticipation at seeing the person I was waiting for. Instead of her, it was someone else.
"Ehhh, why are you still here Sayusuke? Have you had your lunch?"
"Gaki-san? Have you seen Eririn? She was supposed to meet me to take our meal together."
Staring back at me with her eyes wide and a shocked expression on her face, Risa came towards me and placed both hands on my shoulders. Massaging them gently, she said.
"Have you forgotten, Eri isn't with us anymore. She graduated last year."
At her words, time seemed to stop and the room fell silent as I took in what she had just said.
Isn't with us... graduated...
"B-ut..but...but I saw her just now! During rehearsal!"
Bending down and wrapping her arms around my torso, Risa snuggled her face in the nook of my neck.
"It's okay to miss her. We all do."
Raising one hand to pat me on the head, my senpai continued.
"Let's ask her out this Thursday. We can go for breakfast, shopping and a movie after. What do you say?"
I couldn't respond to the suggestion as I had started crying, my voice choking up and my body trembling with the effort it took to keep my sobbing down.
After I had regained enough composure to speak, I looked up at Risa's concerned face and asked her a question.
"Do you think we will grow apart? Will she forget me?"
Stroking at my fringe, Gaki-san reassured.
"She most definitely won't forget you. This is Kame we are talking about."
Tugging at a piece of tissue from the nearby tissue box, she dabbed at my tears and teased.
"Sayusuke is the ichiban kawaii right? How can you go around with swollen eyes? I'll accompany you to wash up then we'll join Ai-chan for lunch. Sound good?"
This time I managed to nod a reply. Just as Risa was about to straighten her back and stand upright again, I threw both arms around her neck and pulled her near.
"Arigatou Gaki-san."
My voice was drowned out from speaking into the front of her tracksuit but I guessed she still heard me as she helped me up from the chair and pushed away slightly to look into my reddish eyes.
"Anytime Sayusuke."
As we approached the exit, I looked over my shoulder to stare at the mirror. And once again, I saw the person I couldn't live without smiling back at me while mouthing a sentence.
Loving you forever.
"Me too Eririn. Forever..."
As we returned to our starting positions, I stole a glance at the mirror and saw her reflection. Coincidentally, she chose the same time to look up and our eyes met. Winking at me, she grinned, our secret signal that we will both work hard at the dance steps until we broke for lunch.
Satisfied with her encouragement, I took a deep breath and concentrated. Determined to nail the entire routine before the dance instructor pointed out my mistakes.
"Alright, we'll stop here for now. After lunch, we will start with the second half of the concert songs."
"Hai~! Arigatou."
"You've worked hard!"
After thanking the teacher, everyone started packing up their belongings and heading out of the studio. Similarly, I gathered up my towel and hung it around my neck. Stuffing my jacket into my bag, I zipped it close and got up from my kneeling posture on the wooden floor.
Scanning around the room, I looked for my best friend as we would always go for meals together. Noticing her near the corner, I was about to walk over to her when the manager intercepted my plan.
"Michishige, I need to talk to you about the change in tomorrow's schedule."
Although reluctant, I could not go against the manager's wishes. Catching her gaze, I bowed apologetically.
It's okay. I'll meet you in the dressing room later.
She flashed me an understanding smile and motioned for me to quickly follow the manager before I got an unnecessary nagging.
Some time later, I was the only person left in the room as everyone had gone on for lunch in the cafeteria. Sitting alone in front of the dresser, I glanced repeatedly at my cellphone and wondered why she hadn't appeared. Did she get stopped along the way to discuss about work too?
Mulling over whether I should message or call her, my thumb hovered above the dial button, worried that I might interrupt an important meeting.
At this moment, the door swung open and I turned around in my chair, filled with anticipation at seeing the person I was waiting for. Instead of her, it was someone else.
"Ehhh, why are you still here Sayusuke? Have you had your lunch?"
"Gaki-san? Have you seen Eririn? She was supposed to meet me to take our meal together."
Staring back at me with her eyes wide and a shocked expression on her face, Risa came towards me and placed both hands on my shoulders. Massaging them gently, she said.
"Have you forgotten, Eri isn't with us anymore. She graduated last year."
At her words, time seemed to stop and the room fell silent as I took in what she had just said.
Isn't with us... graduated...
"B-ut..but...but I saw her just now! During rehearsal!"
Bending down and wrapping her arms around my torso, Risa snuggled her face in the nook of my neck.
"It's okay to miss her. We all do."
Raising one hand to pat me on the head, my senpai continued.
"Let's ask her out this Thursday. We can go for breakfast, shopping and a movie after. What do you say?"
I couldn't respond to the suggestion as I had started crying, my voice choking up and my body trembling with the effort it took to keep my sobbing down.
After I had regained enough composure to speak, I looked up at Risa's concerned face and asked her a question.
"Do you think we will grow apart? Will she forget me?"
Stroking at my fringe, Gaki-san reassured.
"She most definitely won't forget you. This is Kame we are talking about."
Tugging at a piece of tissue from the nearby tissue box, she dabbed at my tears and teased.
"Sayusuke is the ichiban kawaii right? How can you go around with swollen eyes? I'll accompany you to wash up then we'll join Ai-chan for lunch. Sound good?"
This time I managed to nod a reply. Just as Risa was about to straighten her back and stand upright again, I threw both arms around her neck and pulled her near.
"Arigatou Gaki-san."
My voice was drowned out from speaking into the front of her tracksuit but I guessed she still heard me as she helped me up from the chair and pushed away slightly to look into my reddish eyes.
"Anytime Sayusuke."
As we approached the exit, I looked over my shoulder to stare at the mirror. And once again, I saw the person I couldn't live without smiling back at me while mouthing a sentence.
Loving you forever.
"Me too Eririn. Forever..."
Saturday, October 15, 2011
A KameShige Story
Did Sayu say that Eri pranced around in her underwear wearing her cute mouton boots or did she say the turtle was not dressed in any garment at all while walking around in her house wearing those boots? Either way it's omg. Literally.
Do good friends look at each other's naked bodies so comfortably?! And apparently Eri herself said that she stays over at Sayu's so often she should just move in. And what about the other members thinking that their relationship is at least a little weird?
It's pretty obvious those two share an amazing and close relationship. And as much as I hate to admit it, what the bunny and turtle have surpasses that of the bean and monkey.
Looking back at their past, I think I have a rather good idea of how these girls ended up sticking together. From the temple training audition period, the 3 didn't put in as much effort as the 5th gen when it came to practicing. My guess is, Reina went in thinking that she was gonna get picked, Sayu figured that she wasn't (due to her bad singing and two left feet dancing) while Eri was just glad that she made it this far. Afterall, she was incredibly shy then. And because they didn't go in to win, they could let their guard down and make some friends.
Right from the start, Shige gravitated towards the turtle. I think Sayu made the first move to talk to Kame, considering what an introvert she was. I bet Sayumin was the type who couldn't stand being alone for too long, thus she had to pick someone to approach and make friends. Kame was the obvious choice as Reina looked every inch the yankii with dyed hair, funky earrings and a perpetual scowl.
Since Reina was the lone wolf type who couldn't stand losing and wanted so much to be lead, it was hard to be close to her. Instead, the eczema kid + kid who was bad at everything except being blessed with a cute face and rosy complexion needed each other to feel safe. Days became months which turned into years and finally they became what we see, KameShige.
Each time I watch Eri's graduation DVD, Sayu's Homey or OPVs of them, my heart breaks and I tear a bit. It's not right that they should be broken apart like this. I know that they can still meet up or call/text each other. But it's not the same as seeing each other daily. It's terribly difficult to find someone you can click with, whom you can be yourself and act without inhibitions. They found that soul-mate in each other and I hope they never lose that beautiful relationship.
Eri: Happy birthday, Loving you forever...
(I didn't expect her to say this. It touched me, I think it did the same to Sayusuke)
Sayumi: I realize I won't be able to do things or go to places because Eri was there
(This turned on the waterworks. I think life would have been worth living if you met someone like this.)
Thank you for an amazing OPV KuteKim. Please don't give up on MM.
Do good friends look at each other's naked bodies so comfortably?! And apparently Eri herself said that she stays over at Sayu's so often she should just move in. And what about the other members thinking that their relationship is at least a little weird?
It's pretty obvious those two share an amazing and close relationship. And as much as I hate to admit it, what the bunny and turtle have surpasses that of the bean and monkey.
Looking back at their past, I think I have a rather good idea of how these girls ended up sticking together. From the temple training audition period, the 3 didn't put in as much effort as the 5th gen when it came to practicing. My guess is, Reina went in thinking that she was gonna get picked, Sayu figured that she wasn't (due to her bad singing and two left feet dancing) while Eri was just glad that she made it this far. Afterall, she was incredibly shy then. And because they didn't go in to win, they could let their guard down and make some friends.
Right from the start, Shige gravitated towards the turtle. I think Sayu made the first move to talk to Kame, considering what an introvert she was. I bet Sayumin was the type who couldn't stand being alone for too long, thus she had to pick someone to approach and make friends. Kame was the obvious choice as Reina looked every inch the yankii with dyed hair, funky earrings and a perpetual scowl.
Since Reina was the lone wolf type who couldn't stand losing and wanted so much to be lead, it was hard to be close to her. Instead, the eczema kid + kid who was bad at everything except being blessed with a cute face and rosy complexion needed each other to feel safe. Days became months which turned into years and finally they became what we see, KameShige.
Each time I watch Eri's graduation DVD, Sayu's Homey or OPVs of them, my heart breaks and I tear a bit. It's not right that they should be broken apart like this. I know that they can still meet up or call/text each other. But it's not the same as seeing each other daily. It's terribly difficult to find someone you can click with, whom you can be yourself and act without inhibitions. They found that soul-mate in each other and I hope they never lose that beautiful relationship.
Eri: Happy birthday, Loving you forever...
(I didn't expect her to say this. It touched me, I think it did the same to Sayusuke)
Sayumi: I realize I won't be able to do things or go to places because Eri was there
(This turned on the waterworks. I think life would have been worth living if you met someone like this.)
Thank you for an amazing OPV KuteKim. Please don't give up on MM.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Kame Kame Kame!!!
Found a fic featuring Eri and a Kpop boy band member. I don't usually like to see the girls paired with other people outside of MM but surprisingly, I wasn't put off by this story. In fact I find it quite believable and enjoyable to read. Watching the trailer which was made for it by one of the readers of the fic, I'm both in awe and ashamed that I could never produce something of such good quality =(
I hope to discover more FICs with Kame, Gaki, Ai and Sayumi. K4 saikou always!
And I miss the turtle! How are you getting along these days Eririn? I want you back in idol world! Actress, singer or model. Anything! Just please come back soon =(...
I hope to discover more FICs with Kame, Gaki, Ai and Sayumi. K4 saikou always!
And I miss the turtle! How are you getting along these days Eririn? I want you back in idol world! Actress, singer or model. Anything! Just please come back soon =(...
Saturday, March 26, 2011
AiGaki KameShige OPV
Yay, more OPVs of my shipped pairings. Pity there still isn't a AiGaki La La La Love Song OPV :(
I'll Never Go
Only Reminds Me of You
I'll Never Go
Only Reminds Me of You
Monday, March 14, 2011
Thank You for the Memories ~ Part 1
These pages of heartfelt words allowed me to understand more of this incredible individual named Kamei Eri.
Eririn えりりん showed me many sides of the turtle I never knew existed and let me know more about her childhood and the things she had faced. Her many insecurities and how difficult it was to get to where she was later. I have new found admiration for Kame, and I still think she is someone worth loving. No matter as a fan, or as a friend.
I apologize in advance if there are mistakes in the translations.
I apologize in advance if there are mistakes in the translations.
Kamei Eri's History ~ Part 1
The memory of holding a cup, standing on a DIY stage and singing along to kiddy programs is vivid in my mind. Along with the posters on the wall. This is strange as I'm supposed to have a bad memory. Maybe it's because I have watched videos of my childhood. So did I remember everything? Or it is due to watching the videos? I can't recall at all. I'm really a person with bad memory *laughs*.
Singing and dancing is something I've liked a lot since I was a child. I've learnt the piano, ballet and jazz. It started out as mummy's interest. When she came across a good recital or performance, she would bring me along. Mummy never said no if I wanted to learn something. I took 5 or 6 classes at the same time and in order to complete my primary school commitments, I had classes everyday. I didn't have any free time but I continued them all because I couldn't bear to give up any of the classes. Though when I think back now I still think that those times were really happy and enriching, there were hard times too. Whenever I felt overwhelmed, I would run to grams house nearby and rest. When mummy discovered it she would lecture me *laugh*
In kindergarten, before I stepped into class everyday, I would surely cry and shout "I don't want to go into class" when mama was around. And when she left, I would continue crying while shouting "Mama isn't here." I would cry no matter what and this habit is still with me to this day.
Because I wasn't very good at learning or saying interesting stories, I was once very bad at speaking in front of people.
I was timid, talked softly and never dared to voice opinions. And because I wasn't good at learning, I felt very bad about myself/had low self-esteem. Although I'm not like that now, at that time, how people looked at me was very important. I wanted to become someone with no flaws, that's why my inabilities at learning made me feel small.
But as I wasn't fond of studying subjects like math, social studies, etc, even if I was hardworking, I could never get the results I had hoped for.
In primary school, as I was so shy, I could never speak up. Even when it was my duty and I had to stand in front of the class to say greetings, I couldn't. There are many classmates who can remain cheerful and say funny things to make the class laugh even when they don't know the answer to the question that the teacher asked. but who can. But I couldn't even do that. I'm not humorous nor cool. Whenever I was in class, I was very afraid of being called and would remain silent as I didn't know how to reply. This situation lasted till I was in primary 4.
I was timid, talked softly and never dared to voice opinions. And because I wasn't good at learning, I felt very bad about myself/had low self-esteem. Although I'm not like that now, at that time, how people looked at me was very important. I wanted to become someone with no flaws, that's why my inabilities at learning made me feel small.
But as I wasn't fond of studying subjects like math, social studies, etc, even if I was hardworking, I could never get the results I had hoped for.
In primary school, as I was so shy, I could never speak up. Even when it was my duty and I had to stand in front of the class to say greetings, I couldn't. There are many classmates who can remain cheerful and say funny things to make the class laugh even when they don't know the answer to the question that the teacher asked. but who can. But I couldn't even do that. I'm not humorous nor cool. Whenever I was in class, I was very afraid of being called and would remain silent as I didn't know how to reply. This situation lasted till I was in primary 4.
I had 3 good friends at that time. One of them was from the same kindergarten as me while the other 2 were from the same childcare center. They were all good at studies except me to the point that the teacher would tell my mama during parent-teacher meetings; "How did Eri-chan end up in that group when the rest are all so smart?"
Our group of 4 were pretty well known and were on quite good terms with a group of 4 cute boys. They were all in the scoccer club. Although I was in it too, like learning, I wasn't good at soccer as well.
I had my first crush in primary school. It wasn't one of the boys in that group. I liked him all the way from primary 1 till primary 5. But in primary 6, I suddenly didn't like him anymore. That boy was closer to my sister. They were both the youngest child in the family and seemed to have a lot to talk about. From that time one, the way I looked at him became solely friendship based. I gave me valentine's day chocolates in all those years and he was the only one I thought as someone I would like.
In kindergarten, there was also a boy I was fond of. But he kept going to play with other girls. It made me feel jealous to see that.
In kidergarten, I liked handsome boys. In primary school, it was tall guys. Now it's interesting boys, who are cheerful, humorous and can play with me. But the most important is the inside/character.
The 3 girls from primary I still keep in contact with them now. About 2 years ago there was a class reunion but I couldn't make it. A few of those who are close to me specially had a get-together so I could go. The feeling is very comfortable when I meet them. We can talk about anything. Friends from when I was young are really good. Everyone has gone on different paths, some became OL, one of the guys from the 4 boys became a soccer coach. Became I joined MM from when I was 13 years old, when I see my friends who work hard towards their dream job, I felt they were admirable. If it were me, I would surely be unable to do it.
Recently I've been meeting up with secondary school friends. I realized that everyone is in different worlds and have to consider different things.
The 3 girls from primary I still keep in contact with them now. About 2 years ago there was a class reunion but I couldn't make it. A few of those who are close to me specially had a get-together so I could go. The feeling is very comfortable when I meet them. We can talk about anything. Friends from when I was young are really good. Everyone has gone on different paths, some became OL, one of the guys from the 4 boys became a soccer coach. Became I joined MM from when I was 13 years old, when I see my friends who work hard towards their dream job, I felt they were admirable. If it were me, I would surely be unable to do it.
Recently I've been meeting up with secondary school friends. I realized that everyone is in different worlds and have to consider different things.
The first time I saw MM was during LOVE MACHINE. From that time on, I would notice the member's fashion, hair color and make up and think to myself I would try that style too one day. I admired Yaguchi-san the most in that period and would definitely sing MM songs when I went to the KTV. Pretty soon, I became a fan.
I never thought of auditioning for MM though I had considered becoming a talent. I never took singing classes but I went to the KTV a lot and sang at home. Even when I was bathing I would sing. And the next day, the boy living nearby would say "You were singing yesterday weren't you?" That made me think of entering auditions. I did sign up for one previously but didn't get it. I kept thinking someone like me would never be picked and this made me depressed.
I watched the 4th gen auditions as an entertainment program. When it came to the 5th gen auditions. I chased the show religiously. What grabbed my attention most were the lessons the participants had. For singing and dancing, I could try my best to do well. But performing was harder as I was painfully shy. While watching, I thought "If it were me..." to have my emotions and behaviour captured on national television, it would no doubt be very embarassing. I still find it unbelievable that I had entered the audition. Maybe it was due to the strong feelings of not wanting to lose and at least try once which made me do it.
And perhaps because the winners of the 5th audtion were close in age to myself. Seeing how they, like Gaki-san who was the same age as me, had already knew what they wanted to do and how they worked hard towards it, made me feel that they were cool and I was envious about this. I think it must have been these strong feelings which made me do it.
And perhaps because the winners of the 5th audtion were close in age to myself. Seeing how they, like Gaki-san who was the same age as me, had already knew what they wanted to do and how they worked hard towards it, made me feel that they were cool and I was envious about this. I think it must have been these strong feelings which made me do it.
When it was down to 5 finalists from all those who auditioned, I was the only one who didn't talk much. Reina and Sayumi used to say I was the weirdest. I was the only one from Tokyo hence evenyone's dialets was new to me. Reina and Sayu had awesome personalities. I couldn't compare. Because they were so vibrant, I felt it was difficult to express myself.
When it was said that I was very common/normal, it made me sad. I didn't know how to discover my personality nor did I know how to portray my character. Even in the single "Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari" the lyrics related to me spoke about what exactly was I trying to portray. Tsunku was probably thinking why I have yet to have a character fixed. I knew I couldn't continue like this yet I didn't know how I could change it. In the end, I just left it as it is - this is how I am. This is how my character is.
It was nerve-wrecking to work with Nakazawa-san. When she asked "Eric, what will you do the next time?" I would really think about how I was going to do it. HaroMorni was the place that nurtured me. The me who was shy and afraid, changed because of the concerts and my senpais.
I really think entering MM changed me. Iida-san told me when greeting people I should at least say my name loudly. If people didn't hear me, it was the same as not greeting them. Having a soft voice is not an excuse.
Once, I was lectured about speaking too softly right before a concert. Because I was embarrassed, and sad that I knew what my problem was but I still could not do anything about it, I hid in the washroom to cry. But the various portions in the concerts allowed me to build up my courage and confidence and I learnt how to portray myself.
Am I no longer the timid and shy me of the past? Sometimes I think that part of me still exists. But I am still changing little by little. Will this lead up to the me of the future? Or will I remain as I am now. This is something I sometimes think about.
Am I no longer the timid and shy me of the past? Sometimes I think that part of me still exists. But I am still changing little by little. Will this lead up to the me of the future? Or will I remain as I am now. This is something I sometimes think about.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
THANKS from Kame
I never liked saying goodbyes. Especially if it to the MM members I adore. Does that sound mushy? XD
Released on 10 December 2010, THANKS is the turtle's graduation memory photobook. It's also her 10th solo pb as well as the pictorial which houses the final official photos of her career as a Morning Musume member and Hello! Project girl.
I didn't really want to blog about THANKS as somehow it would become official that Kame is indeed gone. But after I obtained the scans, I was both shocked and happy to realize that the writings inside were in a language I could understand. I think the nice people who scanned it must have taken great pains to do the translation. These pages of heartfelt words allowed me to understand more of this incredible individual named Kamei Eri. I'll probably post about those pages in another entry.
For now, I'll focus on the pictures that I really like :)
Front Cover
#10
Her expression in the top portion is a little off XD But I do like the 2 pictures below. It's rare to see the girls in the recording studio. And I like how Kame looks with headphones :)
I'm cheating here by including 3 pics instead of 1. But since they are similarly themed (Read: bikini shots :P) and I really can't just pick 1, I've grouped them all under #9. Doesn't Eri have the best body? ^^; Plus I really like her hair. Both the color and style.
Another groups of photos ^^; Isn't her writing cute? I also love how the candid shots are laid out in time order so you can follow her day as how she went about it.
#7
The first page remind me of a taiwanese music video, so clean and white. The real little turtle makes me smile as it's so symbolic of our turtle :D Imagine staying home and being accompanied by her like this. I think the second page speaks for itself doesn't it? Every section on it showcases Eri in a gorgeous, sunny and healthy manner. Gawd, I love this girl.
The dress is beautiful. So is the young woman wearing it. The flowers is a nice touch. Such an 'arty' shot.
The way she looks up is like a small puppy. Makes me wanna hug her so bad. She even makes the stairs look good XD And those legs are just so...... :P
#4
Kawaii~~ Why does she looks so darn adorable even though she's hiding her face?
#3
Hershey milk chocolate I like. But the Kame lying there I like even better. Again with the legs...and thighs~!! Ahhhh I'm really dying here.
#2
Nice bikini. No I mean it, it's nice. Although having Eri wearing it makes it so much better ^^; I think if a bikini shop used her as their model their swim wear would sell like hotcakes. How does she manage to make such hawt expressions? It looks so effortless but man, the effect is thremendous.
This face shot is wow. Her eyes, her lips, her nose, her brows and even her chin. Every feature on her face is flawless. Kame is truly perfect to me.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
A Bean and her Pet
Kame eating spicy senbei and making the most adorable expressions and actions. LOL at her whacking Gaki on the arm as made continuous itai noises :D
This isn't the only time I've seen Risa rubbing her nose in such an ungirly fashion XD I guess I should want her to stop doing that but then, I kinda find it cute? ^^; What can I say, I love every aspect of the bean.
I don't know why I found the interaction between KameMame similar to an owner and her pet? It's like Risa is the owner getting her pet doggie (or turtle in this case XD) to taste a new treat. The end result is the pet Kame not liking the tidbit and making all sorts of whiny sounds about it XD AWWWWWWWWWWWW the ultra kawaii turtle bean bag pair. *Sobs* I miss seeing them together.
It's a good thing there is a somewhat regular dose of AiGaki recently. I should write a post about these sweet couple soon. Ahhh mac mac, please get well soon. I can't live without you. My MM fandom depends on you a lot so hurry and recover! XD
A nice OPV featuring darling Eri. Although I can't agree with how H!O bans users, I admire the Kame fans who still post in her thread. The turtle might be gone for now, but she'll be back one day. And until then, we (loyal Eririn fans) will be waiting.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Never My Intention
Never My Intention
The ominous roar of thunder startled her and she looked up unwittingly to stare at the overcast sky. The gray fluffy clouds blocked out the sun and gave all below it a gloomy atmosphere. Much like the depressing weather, she was feeling miserable and in low spirits. The only heartening emotion she felt was from the reassuring warmth emitting from the arm latched tightly around her own. Glancing to her right, she saw the jubilant face of fellow member and close friend, Niigaki Risa.
“We should do this more often.”
Talking to no one in particular, Risa was voicing her thoughts of how she felt after the preceding couple of hours they had spent together. Since the early afternoon, they had visited the trendiest shops selling the season’s most fashionable clothing, tasted some renowned curry, took a walk in the park where Sakura petals floated down all around them and taken some colorful purikura while pulling a bunch of funny faces. It was indeed a relaxing day well spent with no rushing about for performances practices, television recordings or costume fittings.
“Hm.”
Her answer was short and didn’t even constitute a word. Her less than enthusiastic answer not only surprised Risa, but herself as well. The enquiring look consisting of a quirked eyebrow and questioning glance spoke volumes and she looked away to avoid answering Risa. She didn’t know why she was behaving like this. The day was a usual one for them and she almost always felt blissful to have someone like Risa there to spend it with. Sure, the girl could be loud, noisy and boisterous. But she knew when to tone it down and could be a good listener when she wanted to be. A prime example was when she was recently embroiled in a tabloid issue that was thankfully rather low profile. The topic was based on a relationship she had ongoing whist starting out in the industry, or so the magazine claimed. While it didn’t warrant any drastic measures by the company, it didn’t make her feel any better. She was fortunate to have had good friends who stood by her and comforted her when she needed it most. And she would never forget it.
“I’m sorry. I was distracted.”
It wasn’t entirely a lie, and Risa seemed to accept it with no further comments. And so the matter was left to be. As her friend turned to speak with the other figure walking on the far end, she noticed how sweetly Risa was smiling. The object of her attention was their leader and the undisputed talent of the group, Takahashi Ai.
-----
The rain was falling in huge torrent like drops that splattered against the window of the speeding cab. Inside the cozy compartment, two feminine figures sat sharing the backseat. There was silence as neither offered to speak. Unexpectedly, the driver wasn’t talkative nor did he try any lame pick-up lines on the attractive girls. The only sound came from the crackly radio and the splash of water as the vehicle’s wheels rolled over puddles of water.
“Toshiyuki! There has been a pileup along the Tokyo Highway.”
“What happened?”
The driver’s voice was evidently laced with gratefulness at not being one of those involved in the disaster.
“Some new driver turned into the wrong lane..”
“New drivers, they always manage to cause problems for others.”
In the front, the driver slapped at his steering wheel agitatedly as he turned into a side road that led to the girls’ destination. At the back, one of them started rummaging through her bag and throwing out random items in the process.
“What are you looking for Eri?”
Becoming aware of her sudden and frantic actions, her companion voiced her concern at Eri’s pale face.
“My phone! I can’t find it!”
“Did you leave it at the restaurant?”
Shifting in her seat, Ai tried to see if the phone had accidentally slipped between the seats or if it had fallen onto the vehicle floor.
“Lend me yours! Hurry!”
The emergency in Eri’s voice made Ai fish out her own device hurriedly and pass it to Eri’s shaking hands.
“Are you alright Eri? Did something happen?”
Punching at the illuminated buttons, Eri brought the earpiece to her ear and waited anxiously for the line to connect.
“The subscriber you can calling is unable to…”
“I can’t get her! I can’t contact Gaki-san!”
“What are you saying Eri? Calm down.”
Grabbing onto Eri’s hands, Ai pulled the younger girl closer in an attempt to calm her down. Eri’s behavior frightened her but she had to maintain her composure and act like a reliable, mature woman in front of her teammate.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I think Gaki-san could be involved in that accident.”
Pointing to the radio, Eri’s eyes turned red and her eyes glazed over with tears as she spoke.
“Gaki-san’s going to Azabu. She wouldn’t have to pass through the expressway.”
Patting Eri’s lap, Ai gave her a reassuring smile. So Eri was worried about Risa. That would explain her strange reaction earlier. However the episode was uncalled for since Risa was safe being nowhere near the accident area.
“She lied.”
“What?!”
“She was going to get your birthday present, not collect her mother’s laundry. She would have to pass through the highway.”
A sick feeling of dread surged up within Ai. The rocking of the cab along with the trepidation of what Eri had said made her feel like puking. Gripping onto the side of the seat, Ai dug her fingers into the soft leather material. Eri’s words kept repeating in her mind and she couldn’t shake the premonition that something bad was going to happen.
It couldn’t, Gaki-san couldn’t have…
Squeezing her eyes shut, Ai contemplated her choices. She could go home and wait for Risa to call her like she always did, or she could make her way to the highway and see for herself that Risa wasn’t any where in danger. Looking at Eri, who had by now brought her knees up to her chest and had her head buried in them, Ai made her decision.
“Please head for Tokyo highway.”
-----
The line of cars went on for miles due to the traffic jam caused by the pileup. In their taxi, Ai and Eri couldn’t see what was happening in the front. Their anxiety was only made worse by the heavy rain beating against the roof of the vehicle and the conversation going on between the driver and his colleague.
“I heard it’s pretty serious. There’s a rumor that a talent or something was one of the passengers.”
Hearing those words, Eri gasped loudly and a fresh round of tears entered her eyes. She looked at Ai with an expression that pleaded for her to do something, anything in the current situation. Her own thoughts in a mess, Ai tried to determine the most appropriate course of action. Except that Risa wasn’t by her side, and she needed her. In her daily life, Ai couldn’t function properly without Risa giving her suggestions or helping her out. Now she felt helpless, she felt lost, but most of all, she felt scared.
You have to be alright Gaki-san. You have to be.
Pulling at the lever to release the door, Ai pushed it open and got out of the car. Outside, the world seemed to be colored in a single shade of gray as the rain and darkened sky meshed as one. In her relatively high boots, Ai started to run. She sprinted with all her strength towards the start of the line of cars where the accident had occurred. Focusing solely on reaching her destination quickly, she cleared her mind so nothing could sway her resolve or hinder her pace. She couldn’t hear Eri screaming at the back for her to slow down or the bursts of honking by the cars stranded on the highway at rush hour. All she could hear was Risa’s familiar and distinctive voice.
I will always be here for you Ai-chan. Whenever you need me.
-----
The scene was absolutely horrifying. The masses of wrecked metal, smell of burnt flesh and splintering of glass beneath her feet made Ai feel queasy. She wanted to turn back and leave the scene of such violent destruction. It wasn’t a place she should be in. But then again, it wasn’t a place Risa should be in either. Yes, she was here to locate Risa, and she wasn’t leaving without her.
“Ai-chan.”
Out of nowhere, Eri appeared beside her and held on to her coat. Together, they made their way cautiously to the nearest cab. The mangled sedan lay on its side, every piece of glass shattered by the impact of the crash. Lowering her head to peer into the interior, Ai heaved a silent sigh of relief that Risa wasn’t in it. Two more futile attempts later, Ai was beginning to think that perhaps Eri was wrong after all. And Risa never came this way.
“Ai-chan…it’s.. Gaki-san’s purse.”
Bending down to reach for the sequined object, Ai recognized it as one of Risa’s favorite purses. Nevertheless she refused to believe it belonged to her dear friend. A design like this was common and very popular, there was a high chance that it belonged to some other woman. Even so, the telling evidence was the little Mickey Mouse ornament dangling from the handle and the yellow letter R hanging below it.
No… This can’t be true.
Holding the torn and filthy bag in her hands, Ai cried. For the first time since hearing about the accident, she let go. Keeping up the image of leader was no longer important, singing and dancing well was no longer vital. Nothing mattered anymore. Because the only thing that truly mattered, is no longer here.
“Ai-chan you can’t give up! Gaki-san wouldn’t give up!”
There was renewed vigor in Eri’s voice. The turtle girl was only in name. In reality, Eri was more outgoing than she ever was. The new her was a result of Morning Musume, a product of self-confidence and a consequence of having Risa around. Since GAKIKAME commenced, Eri found herself hanging out more frequently with her senior. To her, Risa was a good friend, someone as important as Sayumi was. And she wasn’t going to believe that Risa was a person who would go down without a fight. Braving the relentless rain, Eri continued scouring the surroundings for any sign of Risa.
I’m gonna chase you to the ends of the world Gaki-san.
Walking apprehensively up to the last overturned automobile, Eri prayed. God wouldn’t be so cruel as to take Risa away from them, from her. On the other side, sitting on the curb and holding onto her arm, was Risa.
“GAKI-SAN!”
Running to kneel down before her, Eri enveloped Risa in a smothering hug. Tears sprung once more from her already swollen eyes.
“Promise me you’ll never get hurt. Promise me you’ll never fall sick. Promise me that you’ll never leave me!”
“Pokepoke pu, I’m fine.”
With her good arm, Risa hugged Eri back. The joy of feeling Risa’s arm around her waist was indescribable and Eri didn’t want to ever let go. Only she had to.
“Ai-chan.”
“Gaki-san...”
Reluctantly moving aside, Eri made way for Ai to hug Risa. Seeing their contact with each other, the identical sense of despair she felt earlier in the day came flooding back. Ai had practically attached herself onto Risa without leaving any inch of space between them. Her hands had somehow come into contact with Risa’s wound, which made the youngest of the fifth generation wince. But other than that, Risa didn’t seem to mind being caught in Ai’s rigid embrace. There was no exchange of words but it was clear that none was needed.
It was still raining and the cold rain seeped beneath her clothes and cooled her exhausted body. Her hair was a mess and so was her make-up. But Eri didn’t care about those insignificant details. Standing apart from her seniors, she finally realized the cause for her dejected disposition.
The clothes she saw today weren’t as stunning as they should be. The meal she had and the Sakura she saw weren’t as tasty or breathtaking as they should’ve been. Today wasn’t a usual one for her, nor was it enjoyable simply because, Ai was there. It shouldn’t have happened but it did.
It was never my intention, but I fell in love with you, Niigaki Risa.
The ominous roar of thunder startled her and she looked up unwittingly to stare at the overcast sky. The gray fluffy clouds blocked out the sun and gave all below it a gloomy atmosphere. Much like the depressing weather, she was feeling miserable and in low spirits. The only heartening emotion she felt was from the reassuring warmth emitting from the arm latched tightly around her own. Glancing to her right, she saw the jubilant face of fellow member and close friend, Niigaki Risa.
“We should do this more often.”
Talking to no one in particular, Risa was voicing her thoughts of how she felt after the preceding couple of hours they had spent together. Since the early afternoon, they had visited the trendiest shops selling the season’s most fashionable clothing, tasted some renowned curry, took a walk in the park where Sakura petals floated down all around them and taken some colorful purikura while pulling a bunch of funny faces. It was indeed a relaxing day well spent with no rushing about for performances practices, television recordings or costume fittings.
“Hm.”
Her answer was short and didn’t even constitute a word. Her less than enthusiastic answer not only surprised Risa, but herself as well. The enquiring look consisting of a quirked eyebrow and questioning glance spoke volumes and she looked away to avoid answering Risa. She didn’t know why she was behaving like this. The day was a usual one for them and she almost always felt blissful to have someone like Risa there to spend it with. Sure, the girl could be loud, noisy and boisterous. But she knew when to tone it down and could be a good listener when she wanted to be. A prime example was when she was recently embroiled in a tabloid issue that was thankfully rather low profile. The topic was based on a relationship she had ongoing whist starting out in the industry, or so the magazine claimed. While it didn’t warrant any drastic measures by the company, it didn’t make her feel any better. She was fortunate to have had good friends who stood by her and comforted her when she needed it most. And she would never forget it.
“I’m sorry. I was distracted.”
It wasn’t entirely a lie, and Risa seemed to accept it with no further comments. And so the matter was left to be. As her friend turned to speak with the other figure walking on the far end, she noticed how sweetly Risa was smiling. The object of her attention was their leader and the undisputed talent of the group, Takahashi Ai.
-----
The rain was falling in huge torrent like drops that splattered against the window of the speeding cab. Inside the cozy compartment, two feminine figures sat sharing the backseat. There was silence as neither offered to speak. Unexpectedly, the driver wasn’t talkative nor did he try any lame pick-up lines on the attractive girls. The only sound came from the crackly radio and the splash of water as the vehicle’s wheels rolled over puddles of water.
“Toshiyuki! There has been a pileup along the Tokyo Highway.”
“What happened?”
The driver’s voice was evidently laced with gratefulness at not being one of those involved in the disaster.
“Some new driver turned into the wrong lane..”
“New drivers, they always manage to cause problems for others.”
In the front, the driver slapped at his steering wheel agitatedly as he turned into a side road that led to the girls’ destination. At the back, one of them started rummaging through her bag and throwing out random items in the process.
“What are you looking for Eri?”
Becoming aware of her sudden and frantic actions, her companion voiced her concern at Eri’s pale face.
“My phone! I can’t find it!”
“Did you leave it at the restaurant?”
Shifting in her seat, Ai tried to see if the phone had accidentally slipped between the seats or if it had fallen onto the vehicle floor.
“Lend me yours! Hurry!”
The emergency in Eri’s voice made Ai fish out her own device hurriedly and pass it to Eri’s shaking hands.
“Are you alright Eri? Did something happen?”
Punching at the illuminated buttons, Eri brought the earpiece to her ear and waited anxiously for the line to connect.
“The subscriber you can calling is unable to…”
“I can’t get her! I can’t contact Gaki-san!”
“What are you saying Eri? Calm down.”
Grabbing onto Eri’s hands, Ai pulled the younger girl closer in an attempt to calm her down. Eri’s behavior frightened her but she had to maintain her composure and act like a reliable, mature woman in front of her teammate.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I think Gaki-san could be involved in that accident.”
Pointing to the radio, Eri’s eyes turned red and her eyes glazed over with tears as she spoke.
“Gaki-san’s going to Azabu. She wouldn’t have to pass through the expressway.”
Patting Eri’s lap, Ai gave her a reassuring smile. So Eri was worried about Risa. That would explain her strange reaction earlier. However the episode was uncalled for since Risa was safe being nowhere near the accident area.
“She lied.”
“What?!”
“She was going to get your birthday present, not collect her mother’s laundry. She would have to pass through the highway.”
A sick feeling of dread surged up within Ai. The rocking of the cab along with the trepidation of what Eri had said made her feel like puking. Gripping onto the side of the seat, Ai dug her fingers into the soft leather material. Eri’s words kept repeating in her mind and she couldn’t shake the premonition that something bad was going to happen.
It couldn’t, Gaki-san couldn’t have…
Squeezing her eyes shut, Ai contemplated her choices. She could go home and wait for Risa to call her like she always did, or she could make her way to the highway and see for herself that Risa wasn’t any where in danger. Looking at Eri, who had by now brought her knees up to her chest and had her head buried in them, Ai made her decision.
“Please head for Tokyo highway.”
-----
The line of cars went on for miles due to the traffic jam caused by the pileup. In their taxi, Ai and Eri couldn’t see what was happening in the front. Their anxiety was only made worse by the heavy rain beating against the roof of the vehicle and the conversation going on between the driver and his colleague.
“I heard it’s pretty serious. There’s a rumor that a talent or something was one of the passengers.”
Hearing those words, Eri gasped loudly and a fresh round of tears entered her eyes. She looked at Ai with an expression that pleaded for her to do something, anything in the current situation. Her own thoughts in a mess, Ai tried to determine the most appropriate course of action. Except that Risa wasn’t by her side, and she needed her. In her daily life, Ai couldn’t function properly without Risa giving her suggestions or helping her out. Now she felt helpless, she felt lost, but most of all, she felt scared.
You have to be alright Gaki-san. You have to be.
Pulling at the lever to release the door, Ai pushed it open and got out of the car. Outside, the world seemed to be colored in a single shade of gray as the rain and darkened sky meshed as one. In her relatively high boots, Ai started to run. She sprinted with all her strength towards the start of the line of cars where the accident had occurred. Focusing solely on reaching her destination quickly, she cleared her mind so nothing could sway her resolve or hinder her pace. She couldn’t hear Eri screaming at the back for her to slow down or the bursts of honking by the cars stranded on the highway at rush hour. All she could hear was Risa’s familiar and distinctive voice.
I will always be here for you Ai-chan. Whenever you need me.
-----
The scene was absolutely horrifying. The masses of wrecked metal, smell of burnt flesh and splintering of glass beneath her feet made Ai feel queasy. She wanted to turn back and leave the scene of such violent destruction. It wasn’t a place she should be in. But then again, it wasn’t a place Risa should be in either. Yes, she was here to locate Risa, and she wasn’t leaving without her.
“Ai-chan.”
Out of nowhere, Eri appeared beside her and held on to her coat. Together, they made their way cautiously to the nearest cab. The mangled sedan lay on its side, every piece of glass shattered by the impact of the crash. Lowering her head to peer into the interior, Ai heaved a silent sigh of relief that Risa wasn’t in it. Two more futile attempts later, Ai was beginning to think that perhaps Eri was wrong after all. And Risa never came this way.
“Ai-chan…it’s.. Gaki-san’s purse.”
Bending down to reach for the sequined object, Ai recognized it as one of Risa’s favorite purses. Nevertheless she refused to believe it belonged to her dear friend. A design like this was common and very popular, there was a high chance that it belonged to some other woman. Even so, the telling evidence was the little Mickey Mouse ornament dangling from the handle and the yellow letter R hanging below it.
No… This can’t be true.
Holding the torn and filthy bag in her hands, Ai cried. For the first time since hearing about the accident, she let go. Keeping up the image of leader was no longer important, singing and dancing well was no longer vital. Nothing mattered anymore. Because the only thing that truly mattered, is no longer here.
“Ai-chan you can’t give up! Gaki-san wouldn’t give up!”
There was renewed vigor in Eri’s voice. The turtle girl was only in name. In reality, Eri was more outgoing than she ever was. The new her was a result of Morning Musume, a product of self-confidence and a consequence of having Risa around. Since GAKIKAME commenced, Eri found herself hanging out more frequently with her senior. To her, Risa was a good friend, someone as important as Sayumi was. And she wasn’t going to believe that Risa was a person who would go down without a fight. Braving the relentless rain, Eri continued scouring the surroundings for any sign of Risa.
I’m gonna chase you to the ends of the world Gaki-san.
Walking apprehensively up to the last overturned automobile, Eri prayed. God wouldn’t be so cruel as to take Risa away from them, from her. On the other side, sitting on the curb and holding onto her arm, was Risa.
“GAKI-SAN!”
Running to kneel down before her, Eri enveloped Risa in a smothering hug. Tears sprung once more from her already swollen eyes.
“Promise me you’ll never get hurt. Promise me you’ll never fall sick. Promise me that you’ll never leave me!”
“Pokepoke pu, I’m fine.”
With her good arm, Risa hugged Eri back. The joy of feeling Risa’s arm around her waist was indescribable and Eri didn’t want to ever let go. Only she had to.
“Ai-chan.”
“Gaki-san...”
Reluctantly moving aside, Eri made way for Ai to hug Risa. Seeing their contact with each other, the identical sense of despair she felt earlier in the day came flooding back. Ai had practically attached herself onto Risa without leaving any inch of space between them. Her hands had somehow come into contact with Risa’s wound, which made the youngest of the fifth generation wince. But other than that, Risa didn’t seem to mind being caught in Ai’s rigid embrace. There was no exchange of words but it was clear that none was needed.
It was still raining and the cold rain seeped beneath her clothes and cooled her exhausted body. Her hair was a mess and so was her make-up. But Eri didn’t care about those insignificant details. Standing apart from her seniors, she finally realized the cause for her dejected disposition.
The clothes she saw today weren’t as stunning as they should be. The meal she had and the Sakura she saw weren’t as tasty or breathtaking as they should’ve been. Today wasn’t a usual one for her, nor was it enjoyable simply because, Ai was there. It shouldn’t have happened but it did.
It was never my intention, but I fell in love with you, Niigaki Risa.
Room In My Heart
Room in My Heart [Sakura Mankai Edition]
It was early morning on a particular day and the sun shone down with rays of the early spring sun. Nonetheless the skies have yet to brighten fully. Having rained the night before, a thin veil of mist hung in the air achieving a foggy atmosphere. Walking along the path weaving through the deserted and tranquil park, Niigaki Risa hummed a Morning Musume song softly as she swung the small paper bag in her hand to be in step with her movements.
It looks to be a beautiful day.
Her thoughts were however interrupted by the melodious chimes emitting from the cell phone buried snugly in her coat pocket.
Who could be calling this early?
Baffled, Risa reached one hand into the said pocket and searched for the gadget among the wades of money she had stuffed in previously. When she finally managed to fish out the small silver object, the picture that lighted on the external screen told her who the person messaging was. Flicking the phone open with one hand, Risa read the short message.
Ne Gaki-san where are you? I’m already at the studio and I’m early!
Smiling slightly as she imagined Eri’s triumphant grin saying those words, Risa typed a quick reply with her carefully manicured thumb in response to her childish friend.
I was at the studio before and now I’m outside getting our breakfast
I got you milk bread. Since I’m earlier, you are still considered late Kame 
Her phone sounded again no sooner after Risa had taken a few more steps along the narrow pebble path.
Why, why, WHY? How could Gaki-san be earlier? It’s not fair!
Where are you anyway?
At the park nearby, I’ll be back soon. Don’t get all whiny on me again all right?
Shaking her head and laughing, Risa was visibly amused by Eri’s cute and funny messages. Interaction with Eri first thing in the morning could put a person in high spirits. It was amazing how Eri possessed the natural ability to make someone happier just by existing in the same realm. Be it her words, actions or funny expressions, they all had a heartening effect on everyone around. Perhaps this was why Eri was so constantly popular among all members (and ex-members) of the group. Even the notorious Fujimoto Miki loved having Eri around.
Parallel and across from where Risa was standing, a lone figure was walking towards the same clearing where the sub-leader of Morning Musume was headed. Every park that saw Sakura trees bloom had a special area designated for admiring the flowers. It was unplanned but Takahashi Ai had overheard the morning news on the radio that her mother had left blasting in the kitchen. Listening in to the chirpy voice of the announcer, she was enlightened with the knowledge that the Sakura trees were flowering early this year and today was the highly anticipated first bloom.
Thrilled that it happened to be her day off work, Ai decided it would be befitting to catch the trees in full bloom since it was such a rare occasion. At the unearthly hour, there weren’t many people up and about and Ai knew this. Hence she didn’t bother putting on make-up or drawing her eyebrows painstakingly. All she did was pull a hat low over her eyes to hide her recognizable face from overzealous fans. At last inside the compound, Ai saw a single flower float leisurely pass her eyes.
Ah, it’s starting. The trees are beginning to blossom!
Quickening her steps, Ai hurried towards the center of the park where the strategic clearing lay and prepared herself mentally for getting to soon observe the thousands of Sakura flowers falling simultaneously. However, less than a kilometer away, Ai stopped abruptly in her tracks when she thought she saw someone familiar.
Gaki-san?
Seeing the image of her long time friend and teammate, Ai at once recalled that Risa had a radio recording to do this morning. And the location was none other than the building in close proximity to this very park. Why didn’t she think of inviting Risa along to watch the first bloom? It made sense since like herself, Risa loved the Sakura and was almost always especially excited when spring rolled around. Except for the fact that she had an adverse allergy to pollen, which required her to wear a mask and carry medication around faithfully.
Yes, she would call out to Risa when she got nearer and they could spend some time alone together taking pleasure from the customary Japanese tradition. Even so, fate seemed resolved to play with the alluring young woman, and unfortunately, Ai didn’t have the slightest inkling that what started out as a cheerful day would end with her feeling much worse that she had in a long time.
“Gaki…san.”
Her words came out barely louder than a whisper and the excitement that she had felt earlier before vanished in a matter of seconds when Ai saw the sequence of events unfolding before her eyes. She didn’t know why but her first reaction was to dart behind the nearest Sakura tree and hide herself from the unsuspecting pair further ahead.
“Ne, Ne Gaki-san!!”
Her eyes wide with surprise, Risa twirled around rapidly when she heard a voice she had become highly accustomed to.
“Kame?! What are you doing here?”
“To accompany you of course. It’s not very fun watching the first bloom by yourself is it?”
Latching herself onto Risa’s free arm, Eri snuggled up closer to feel the warmth of her newest best friend. The chilly morning air could get pretty cold even during this time of the year.
“Kame being considerate, that’s a first.”
Raising her head to gaze at the tiny flowers that had began to flutter in the soft breeze, Risa closed her eyes to savor the moment. It wasn’t every day that you could be lucky enough to observe the first bloom.
With one of her senses inactive, naturally the rest would be put on high alert. Beside her, Risa could feel Eri shivering. It was just like Eri to not wear thicker clothing to keep herself warm. She was reaching twenty years of age and yet she was still behaving like a child most of the time. No one would have guessed that the two were of the exact same age.
Freeing herself from Eri’s hold, Risa spread open both arms to wrap the younger in an affectionate embrace, after which she proceeded to rub her down in an attempt to keep Eri warm.
“Ne, Gaki-san this feels nice.”
Closing her eyes and inching to eliminate all and any distance between them, Eri smiled contentedly into the front of Risa’s down-filled coat. The early morning, cool surroundings and lying in the arms of a warm huggy bean was the perfect environment for falling asleep. Sensing her eyelids growing heavy with each passing second, Eri didn’t try to resist the drowsiness that was creeping up upon her.
“Don’t even think of falling asleep Kame. We have to get back to the studio in a bit.”
“Hmmm…”
The lazy turtle girl didn’t try replying much, she was enjoying tremendously every instant of this wondrous feeling to bother with anything else.
Away from the two, Ai witnessed the entire turn of events. She didn’t want to think that way or admit it but nevertheless, she felt her stomach twist into tiny little knots and her breathing relegate into short sharp gasps. Risa was aware of their similar interests and the fact that she had a day off today. Why didn’t she ask her along to watch the Sakura? Instead she had come with Eri, ERI!.
Staring at the oldest Rokkie who had by now undoubtedly fallen asleep in Risa’s arms, Ai inadvertently started to grind her teeth.
It should’ve been me! Perhaps if I had been quicker to confess…
Casting her eyes downwards, Ai stared hard at the ground until the numerous pebbles started blending into each other to form a blurry mesh of gray. The tears rolling down her face stung with each draft of the bitter wind and the resulting smarting pain on her cheeks echoed what she felt in her heart.
Fill the room in my heart soon, Gaki-san. Don’t let me forget how much I love you.
It was early morning on a particular day and the sun shone down with rays of the early spring sun. Nonetheless the skies have yet to brighten fully. Having rained the night before, a thin veil of mist hung in the air achieving a foggy atmosphere. Walking along the path weaving through the deserted and tranquil park, Niigaki Risa hummed a Morning Musume song softly as she swung the small paper bag in her hand to be in step with her movements.
It looks to be a beautiful day.
Her thoughts were however interrupted by the melodious chimes emitting from the cell phone buried snugly in her coat pocket.
Who could be calling this early?
Baffled, Risa reached one hand into the said pocket and searched for the gadget among the wades of money she had stuffed in previously. When she finally managed to fish out the small silver object, the picture that lighted on the external screen told her who the person messaging was. Flicking the phone open with one hand, Risa read the short message.
Ne Gaki-san where are you? I’m already at the studio and I’m early!
Smiling slightly as she imagined Eri’s triumphant grin saying those words, Risa typed a quick reply with her carefully manicured thumb in response to her childish friend.
I was at the studio before and now I’m outside getting our breakfast
I got you milk bread. Since I’m earlier, you are still considered late Kame Her phone sounded again no sooner after Risa had taken a few more steps along the narrow pebble path.
Why, why, WHY? How could Gaki-san be earlier? It’s not fair!
Where are you anyway?At the park nearby, I’ll be back soon. Don’t get all whiny on me again all right?
Shaking her head and laughing, Risa was visibly amused by Eri’s cute and funny messages. Interaction with Eri first thing in the morning could put a person in high spirits. It was amazing how Eri possessed the natural ability to make someone happier just by existing in the same realm. Be it her words, actions or funny expressions, they all had a heartening effect on everyone around. Perhaps this was why Eri was so constantly popular among all members (and ex-members) of the group. Even the notorious Fujimoto Miki loved having Eri around.
Parallel and across from where Risa was standing, a lone figure was walking towards the same clearing where the sub-leader of Morning Musume was headed. Every park that saw Sakura trees bloom had a special area designated for admiring the flowers. It was unplanned but Takahashi Ai had overheard the morning news on the radio that her mother had left blasting in the kitchen. Listening in to the chirpy voice of the announcer, she was enlightened with the knowledge that the Sakura trees were flowering early this year and today was the highly anticipated first bloom.
Thrilled that it happened to be her day off work, Ai decided it would be befitting to catch the trees in full bloom since it was such a rare occasion. At the unearthly hour, there weren’t many people up and about and Ai knew this. Hence she didn’t bother putting on make-up or drawing her eyebrows painstakingly. All she did was pull a hat low over her eyes to hide her recognizable face from overzealous fans. At last inside the compound, Ai saw a single flower float leisurely pass her eyes.
Ah, it’s starting. The trees are beginning to blossom!
Quickening her steps, Ai hurried towards the center of the park where the strategic clearing lay and prepared herself mentally for getting to soon observe the thousands of Sakura flowers falling simultaneously. However, less than a kilometer away, Ai stopped abruptly in her tracks when she thought she saw someone familiar.
Gaki-san?
Seeing the image of her long time friend and teammate, Ai at once recalled that Risa had a radio recording to do this morning. And the location was none other than the building in close proximity to this very park. Why didn’t she think of inviting Risa along to watch the first bloom? It made sense since like herself, Risa loved the Sakura and was almost always especially excited when spring rolled around. Except for the fact that she had an adverse allergy to pollen, which required her to wear a mask and carry medication around faithfully.
Yes, she would call out to Risa when she got nearer and they could spend some time alone together taking pleasure from the customary Japanese tradition. Even so, fate seemed resolved to play with the alluring young woman, and unfortunately, Ai didn’t have the slightest inkling that what started out as a cheerful day would end with her feeling much worse that she had in a long time.
“Gaki…san.”
Her words came out barely louder than a whisper and the excitement that she had felt earlier before vanished in a matter of seconds when Ai saw the sequence of events unfolding before her eyes. She didn’t know why but her first reaction was to dart behind the nearest Sakura tree and hide herself from the unsuspecting pair further ahead.
“Ne, Ne Gaki-san!!”
Her eyes wide with surprise, Risa twirled around rapidly when she heard a voice she had become highly accustomed to.
“Kame?! What are you doing here?”
“To accompany you of course. It’s not very fun watching the first bloom by yourself is it?”
Latching herself onto Risa’s free arm, Eri snuggled up closer to feel the warmth of her newest best friend. The chilly morning air could get pretty cold even during this time of the year.
“Kame being considerate, that’s a first.”
Raising her head to gaze at the tiny flowers that had began to flutter in the soft breeze, Risa closed her eyes to savor the moment. It wasn’t every day that you could be lucky enough to observe the first bloom.
With one of her senses inactive, naturally the rest would be put on high alert. Beside her, Risa could feel Eri shivering. It was just like Eri to not wear thicker clothing to keep herself warm. She was reaching twenty years of age and yet she was still behaving like a child most of the time. No one would have guessed that the two were of the exact same age.
Freeing herself from Eri’s hold, Risa spread open both arms to wrap the younger in an affectionate embrace, after which she proceeded to rub her down in an attempt to keep Eri warm.
“Ne, Gaki-san this feels nice.”
Closing her eyes and inching to eliminate all and any distance between them, Eri smiled contentedly into the front of Risa’s down-filled coat. The early morning, cool surroundings and lying in the arms of a warm huggy bean was the perfect environment for falling asleep. Sensing her eyelids growing heavy with each passing second, Eri didn’t try to resist the drowsiness that was creeping up upon her.
“Don’t even think of falling asleep Kame. We have to get back to the studio in a bit.”
“Hmmm…”
The lazy turtle girl didn’t try replying much, she was enjoying tremendously every instant of this wondrous feeling to bother with anything else.
Away from the two, Ai witnessed the entire turn of events. She didn’t want to think that way or admit it but nevertheless, she felt her stomach twist into tiny little knots and her breathing relegate into short sharp gasps. Risa was aware of their similar interests and the fact that she had a day off today. Why didn’t she ask her along to watch the Sakura? Instead she had come with Eri, ERI!.
Staring at the oldest Rokkie who had by now undoubtedly fallen asleep in Risa’s arms, Ai inadvertently started to grind her teeth.
It should’ve been me! Perhaps if I had been quicker to confess…
Casting her eyes downwards, Ai stared hard at the ground until the numerous pebbles started blending into each other to form a blurry mesh of gray. The tears rolling down her face stung with each draft of the bitter wind and the resulting smarting pain on her cheeks echoed what she felt in her heart.
Fill the room in my heart soon, Gaki-san. Don’t let me forget how much I love you.
If I'm Not In Love
If I'm Not in Love
I flopped heavily down on my bed, my hair spray out like a fan beneath me. It has been another long and tiring day. Except that I can't fall asleep as the image of you speaking to me after rehearsal keeps surfacing in my mind. "You were being really weird when saying goodbye yesterday. Did something happen?" The concern in your eyes was evident and I was deeply moved because, you noticed. When nobody else did.
I watch you during every practice, the beautiful figure following two other ladies in a line, pouting your lips and your crossing your arms. When you act exaggeratedly throwing garbage everywhere to torment the leading lady, I can't help but smile as I know this isn't the real you. I'm proud to say I'm the one who knows you best. 1736 days to be exact. "How long have we known each other?" You asked suddenly during our usual monthly outing. "Years." I reply, leaving the other part of my sentence silent. But it's not long enough a time for me. You hook one hand around my arm, pulling me along as you gaze at the passing shop windows along the street. Why is it that I can share my worries with you, I can tell you my doubts and insecurities. And even when I didn't intend to, you knew. And maybe because you care, I started thinking more about you.
If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through
Tonight
And if my heart is lying then
What should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you, baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I'm not in love with you
People say you rely on me too much but the truth is I rely on you. "When will we get to room together again." I asked you casually during our latest concert tour, careful to not sound out of the ordinary. You shrug your shoulders with a smile before running off to get ready. I hide the sad sigh from emerging as I see your retreating back. It used to be just the two of us. But ever since you started getting closer to the other members, it seemed like your time for me became lesser and lesser. I want to go back to the nights where we could cuddle up together under the warm covers. I want to feel your steady breathing and watch you rest, sleeping beside me. Maybe it's an obsession but some things I can’t question. I just know a part of me is missing when I can't feel your touch.
And if I don't need your touch
Why do I miss you so much
Tonight
If it's just infatuation then
Why is my heart aching
To hold you forever
Give a part of me I thought I'd never
Give again to someone I could lose
If I'm not in love with you
Oji-sama! Keeping up the pretense of wishing for my gallant prince is hard because in all my dreams of having a prince come for me, I was actually lying to myself. I never wanted a prince, only a princess, who was you. Only in my dreams can I hold you like I want to. Because I know I can't love you the way I wish to. All the thoughts occupying my mind consist of you, your smile, your laughter and you, just you. Why am I feeling this way, I don't know. If only someone could tell me why, why I can only think of you.
Why in every fantasy
Do I feel your arms embracing me
Lovers lost in sweet desire
Why in dreams do I surrender
Like a baby
Someone help explain this feeling
Someone tell me
Do you think this could be love? Pausing as I walk to look up to the sky has become a norm. Asking the birds soaring high above without a care in the world what being crazy feels like is almost a daily occurrence. But if my heart isn't lying, then I'm glad it was you. That the person I'm in love with, that special someone who understands me, is you Eririn.
If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through
Tonight
And if my heart is lying then what should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I'm not in love with you
Pressing down on the 'off' button to deactivate the hi-fi system, I stopped the spinning CD playing in the deck. Marking the top of the page with the words KonUsaPi entry, July 2008, I closed the diary clothed within a pink cover.
I flopped heavily down on my bed, my hair spray out like a fan beneath me. It has been another long and tiring day. Except that I can't fall asleep as the image of you speaking to me after rehearsal keeps surfacing in my mind. "You were being really weird when saying goodbye yesterday. Did something happen?" The concern in your eyes was evident and I was deeply moved because, you noticed. When nobody else did.
I watch you during every practice, the beautiful figure following two other ladies in a line, pouting your lips and your crossing your arms. When you act exaggeratedly throwing garbage everywhere to torment the leading lady, I can't help but smile as I know this isn't the real you. I'm proud to say I'm the one who knows you best. 1736 days to be exact. "How long have we known each other?" You asked suddenly during our usual monthly outing. "Years." I reply, leaving the other part of my sentence silent. But it's not long enough a time for me. You hook one hand around my arm, pulling me along as you gaze at the passing shop windows along the street. Why is it that I can share my worries with you, I can tell you my doubts and insecurities. And even when I didn't intend to, you knew. And maybe because you care, I started thinking more about you.
If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through
Tonight
And if my heart is lying then
What should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you, baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I'm not in love with you
People say you rely on me too much but the truth is I rely on you. "When will we get to room together again." I asked you casually during our latest concert tour, careful to not sound out of the ordinary. You shrug your shoulders with a smile before running off to get ready. I hide the sad sigh from emerging as I see your retreating back. It used to be just the two of us. But ever since you started getting closer to the other members, it seemed like your time for me became lesser and lesser. I want to go back to the nights where we could cuddle up together under the warm covers. I want to feel your steady breathing and watch you rest, sleeping beside me. Maybe it's an obsession but some things I can’t question. I just know a part of me is missing when I can't feel your touch.
And if I don't need your touch
Why do I miss you so much
Tonight
If it's just infatuation then
Why is my heart aching
To hold you forever
Give a part of me I thought I'd never
Give again to someone I could lose
If I'm not in love with you
Oji-sama! Keeping up the pretense of wishing for my gallant prince is hard because in all my dreams of having a prince come for me, I was actually lying to myself. I never wanted a prince, only a princess, who was you. Only in my dreams can I hold you like I want to. Because I know I can't love you the way I wish to. All the thoughts occupying my mind consist of you, your smile, your laughter and you, just you. Why am I feeling this way, I don't know. If only someone could tell me why, why I can only think of you.
Why in every fantasy
Do I feel your arms embracing me
Lovers lost in sweet desire
Why in dreams do I surrender
Like a baby
Someone help explain this feeling
Someone tell me
Do you think this could be love? Pausing as I walk to look up to the sky has become a norm. Asking the birds soaring high above without a care in the world what being crazy feels like is almost a daily occurrence. But if my heart isn't lying, then I'm glad it was you. That the person I'm in love with, that special someone who understands me, is you Eririn.
If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through
Tonight
And if my heart is lying then what should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I'm not in love with you
Pressing down on the 'off' button to deactivate the hi-fi system, I stopped the spinning CD playing in the deck. Marking the top of the page with the words KonUsaPi entry, July 2008, I closed the diary clothed within a pink cover.
Why Are We Still Friends
Why Are We Still Friends
"Mou Kame, stop walking so fast!"
There was a reversal of roles as the one leading the pair was the usually sluggish member of the group.
"Gaki-san!"
She called out in her distinct voice which carried a slight whiny tone as she folded her arms to pout cutely at me.
"If you continue lagging like this, we won't be able to finish visiting all the shops in the mall."
With my mouth hanging open, the very astonished sub-leader of Morning Musume aka me, could only gap in disbelief at the tone which was being taken. Aren't I normally the one nagging at her to speed up?
"I understand if you want to finish looking at everything but there is still another two hours to go till 4 pm."
Jogging back to where I was standing with an annoyed expression, the taller girl (unfortunately she was taller by a few centimeters) pouted again as she tugged on my arm.
"Come on Gaki-san. I don't want to be late when I meet Reina later."
"Okay, fine. Whatever you say Kame."
Allowing Eri to drag me along as she resumed her brisk walking, I looked away and pretended to be peering at the items on display in the numerous glitzy shop windows. In actuality, I was hiding my downcast expression. Eri had a sharp eye when it came to detecting whether someone was feeling upset and I didn't want to have to start explaining the reason for my current depressed mood. After all, a love confession wasn't the easiest thing in the world to talk about.
-----
"Kawaii~!"
Picking up a bath towel with the image of ? printed on it, you muttered as you ran your hand over the soft material.
"I'm getting this!"
No sooner had you proclaimed your decision, you caught sight of a hand written sign which stated that all the towels in the basket were on offer. There was a 2 for 1 special deal and the savings amount was quite substantial.
"I don't really need 2 towels. I guess I won't be getting it then."
You put back the pink color towel with a forlorn expression and I immediately noticed how reluctant you were to leave the shop.
"I could get a towel too."
"Hontoni? Gaki-san!"
Grabbing once again onto my arm, you leaned your head on my shoulder before rubbing your cheek against it. You didn't know but this simple action was enough to make me melt into a puddle of goo. It's clear I've got it bad for you.
"That will be (?) yen thank you."
You were standing to the side waiting for me to make payment when a jingle sounded from your purse. Your entire face lit up with anticipation and you excitedly accessed the message to read its contents.
"This is your change. Please come again!"
Tearing my line of sight away from you, I collected the money from the cashier to keep in my wallet. When I was done, I walked up to you. This time, you no longer had that happy aura about you.
"What's wrong?"
-----
The little cafe wasn't that crowded on this weekday afternoon and we managed to get a seat in the corner by the window overlooking to the street below. Sitting opposite one another, I watched you sip your drink in silence. You alternated between drinking the soda and chewing on the straw. You were in a daze and I knew your present state was due to the message you had received. Reaching over to pick up your cellphone which had been absentmindedly placed on the table, I flipped it open.
"Tanakacchi probably has something important to see to."
Trying to come up with a convincing explanation for Reina's third consecutive no show in this week, I patted your hand which was gripping onto the glass. Nevertheless, my efforts at consoling you did nothing to ease the hurt that you were feeling. At that moment, I wished I had the ability to take away all your pain, that I could be the one to make you smile again.
Ignoring my own beverage which was fast becoming cold, I got out of my seat and slithered into the small booth beside you. Bringing you close to me, I let you cling onto me as you sobbed. I did not try to wipe the tears from your eyes because I knew if I so much as took a single glance at how sad your beautiful face was right now, my resolve would crumble and I’ll end up telling you how much I really loved you.
"I'm sorry to have wasted your day like this."
You were referring to calling me out at the last minute with the promise of shopping together and not going through with that promise. You didn't know that I didn't mind just sitting here letting you weep into my chest because you meant so much more to me than being able to complete some pointless shopping.
We do almost everything
That lovers do
And that why's it's hard
Just to be friends with you
Every time your heart is broken by the fool
I want you to know
That it hurts me too
It's hard to wipe your tears away
Knowing that you should be with me
After an indeterminable length of time, you finally stopped crying and tore yourself away from my soaked shirt.
"Gomene Gaki-san. Your clothes are a mess."
"Daijoubu Kame-han."
Giving you a small smile, I tried to make you feel better by calling out your latest nickname which we had thought up for each other.
"Arigatou Gaki-san. You're always here when I need someone by my side. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you as a friend."
Although the smile on my face remained intact, my heart was feeling terrible. It was as if someone had reached into my chest and was pulling on my heart, twisting and turning it until I could no longer breath. This sensation was all too familiar to me as I have ever experienced it before. It was precisely because of this that I didn't want to go through it again. Yet, I fell in love for the second time and once again, it was with somebody who would never reciprocate my feelings.
Now tell me why, why are we still friends
When everything says
We should be more than we are
And tell me why
Every time I find someone that I like
We always end up just being friends
-----
"Take a nice hot bath when you get home and don't dwell on it anymore."
We were standing at the entrance of your apartment building as I had insisted on sending you home. Nodding back at me, you waved before spinning around on your heel and pushing open the glass doors. Watching your retreating back, I had the sudden urge to tell you something.
"Kame!"
"Huh? What is it?"
Turning around to face me, you asked unsure.
Why don't you leave Tanakacchi? There is someone who cherishes you more.
Nonetheless, those words didn't leave my lips. A part of me wanted you to end your relationship with Reina and realize that I have been here all along. But another side of me was afraid that you would run to Sayumin after the breakup. She was so much closer to you as compared to me and I was certain she would treasure you more than Reina. If that happened, you would no longer need me. I would lose the role of being the person whom you could call on at random times to hang out with you.
I would hate for you to find somebody new
Who you really love
Cause it would mean losing you
But am I a fool girl not to say
If I'm always scared I'll lose you anyway
Somehow someway I've got to choose
(Got to choose) No matter if it's win or lose
"Good night."
"Good night Gaki-san."
In the end, all I could muster was an ordinary greeting. Sometimes I really hated myself for being so cowardly. Why couldn't I just come out and say it? Why couldn't I have been the one to tell you about my affections instead of Tanakacchi?
You walked up to the elevator and pressed on the button, not realizing that I hadn't left despite of the frosty winds that I was subjected to while standing out in the street. I stayed until you vanished inside the elevator before I departed.
Now tell me why, why are we still friends
When everything says
We should be more than what we are
And tell me why
Every time I find someone that I like
We always end up just being friends
-----
*Random Melody*
I fished out my cellphone when I heard jingle of my new message alert emit from my cellphone.
Are you on the way home? Let me know when you arrive okay? Oyasumi Gaki-han!
A smile crept onto my face as I read the short message. It consisted of only a few sentences but it was enough for me. You were never someone who relished in sending text messages thus receiving one from you was almost as rare as seeing a meteor shower.
I just entered my house. How is your bath? Don't fall asleep inside the tub again.
Yada Gaki-han! Stop making fun of me. Did you forget what happened at the concert?
You paid for my meals again today as I forgot to bring enough money. Going out with you is better than with my siblings.
The screen of my phone lit up for a third time and I let my arm fall back to my side after reading your last message.
Good night for real Gaki-han. My eyelids are getting heavy...
I knew you would undoubtedly have fallen asleep by this time. Raising my head to look at your bedroom window, I saw the lights go out. Your mother must have switched them off after coming in to check on you. You tended to fall asleep leaving everything on.
After another ten minutes of staring at a pitch black window, I at last left the sidewalk which I have been loitering on all this time. I had lied about my whereabouts. While you were snug and warm at home, I had been battling the freezing temperatures as I stood beneath your apartment.
I don't know why I did this every time I saw you home. I just knew I didn't want to be too far away from you. I know I'm being silly to think like this but I couldn't help it. I didn’t want you to see me as a sibling or another good friend.
"Can you ever let me into your life as someone other than a dependable senpai?"
I don't wanna be like your brother
I don't wanna be your best friend
I only wanna be your lover
When will this end?
If I told you that I wanna be in your life?
Then you could be the woman in mine
I didn't realize that I had unknowingly typed that line into my phone. Deciding that it didn't matter since no one would be seeing it, I added another sentence.
I want to be more than a friend to you Kame.
(Why) Why are we just friends?
No sooner had I finished typing that, the sound of screeching tires exploded in my ears and I looked up just in time to see the headlights of a car coming straight at me...
"Mou Kame, stop walking so fast!"
There was a reversal of roles as the one leading the pair was the usually sluggish member of the group.
"Gaki-san!"
She called out in her distinct voice which carried a slight whiny tone as she folded her arms to pout cutely at me.
"If you continue lagging like this, we won't be able to finish visiting all the shops in the mall."
With my mouth hanging open, the very astonished sub-leader of Morning Musume aka me, could only gap in disbelief at the tone which was being taken. Aren't I normally the one nagging at her to speed up?
"I understand if you want to finish looking at everything but there is still another two hours to go till 4 pm."
Jogging back to where I was standing with an annoyed expression, the taller girl (unfortunately she was taller by a few centimeters) pouted again as she tugged on my arm.
"Come on Gaki-san. I don't want to be late when I meet Reina later."
"Okay, fine. Whatever you say Kame."
Allowing Eri to drag me along as she resumed her brisk walking, I looked away and pretended to be peering at the items on display in the numerous glitzy shop windows. In actuality, I was hiding my downcast expression. Eri had a sharp eye when it came to detecting whether someone was feeling upset and I didn't want to have to start explaining the reason for my current depressed mood. After all, a love confession wasn't the easiest thing in the world to talk about.
-----
"Kawaii~!"
Picking up a bath towel with the image of ? printed on it, you muttered as you ran your hand over the soft material.
"I'm getting this!"
No sooner had you proclaimed your decision, you caught sight of a hand written sign which stated that all the towels in the basket were on offer. There was a 2 for 1 special deal and the savings amount was quite substantial.
"I don't really need 2 towels. I guess I won't be getting it then."
You put back the pink color towel with a forlorn expression and I immediately noticed how reluctant you were to leave the shop.
"I could get a towel too."
"Hontoni? Gaki-san!"
Grabbing once again onto my arm, you leaned your head on my shoulder before rubbing your cheek against it. You didn't know but this simple action was enough to make me melt into a puddle of goo. It's clear I've got it bad for you.
"That will be (?) yen thank you."
You were standing to the side waiting for me to make payment when a jingle sounded from your purse. Your entire face lit up with anticipation and you excitedly accessed the message to read its contents.
"This is your change. Please come again!"
Tearing my line of sight away from you, I collected the money from the cashier to keep in my wallet. When I was done, I walked up to you. This time, you no longer had that happy aura about you.
"What's wrong?"
-----
The little cafe wasn't that crowded on this weekday afternoon and we managed to get a seat in the corner by the window overlooking to the street below. Sitting opposite one another, I watched you sip your drink in silence. You alternated between drinking the soda and chewing on the straw. You were in a daze and I knew your present state was due to the message you had received. Reaching over to pick up your cellphone which had been absentmindedly placed on the table, I flipped it open.
"Tanakacchi probably has something important to see to."
Trying to come up with a convincing explanation for Reina's third consecutive no show in this week, I patted your hand which was gripping onto the glass. Nevertheless, my efforts at consoling you did nothing to ease the hurt that you were feeling. At that moment, I wished I had the ability to take away all your pain, that I could be the one to make you smile again.
Ignoring my own beverage which was fast becoming cold, I got out of my seat and slithered into the small booth beside you. Bringing you close to me, I let you cling onto me as you sobbed. I did not try to wipe the tears from your eyes because I knew if I so much as took a single glance at how sad your beautiful face was right now, my resolve would crumble and I’ll end up telling you how much I really loved you.
"I'm sorry to have wasted your day like this."
You were referring to calling me out at the last minute with the promise of shopping together and not going through with that promise. You didn't know that I didn't mind just sitting here letting you weep into my chest because you meant so much more to me than being able to complete some pointless shopping.
We do almost everything
That lovers do
And that why's it's hard
Just to be friends with you
Every time your heart is broken by the fool
I want you to know
That it hurts me too
It's hard to wipe your tears away
Knowing that you should be with me
After an indeterminable length of time, you finally stopped crying and tore yourself away from my soaked shirt.
"Gomene Gaki-san. Your clothes are a mess."
"Daijoubu Kame-han."
Giving you a small smile, I tried to make you feel better by calling out your latest nickname which we had thought up for each other.
"Arigatou Gaki-san. You're always here when I need someone by my side. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you as a friend."
Although the smile on my face remained intact, my heart was feeling terrible. It was as if someone had reached into my chest and was pulling on my heart, twisting and turning it until I could no longer breath. This sensation was all too familiar to me as I have ever experienced it before. It was precisely because of this that I didn't want to go through it again. Yet, I fell in love for the second time and once again, it was with somebody who would never reciprocate my feelings.
Now tell me why, why are we still friends
When everything says
We should be more than we are
And tell me why
Every time I find someone that I like
We always end up just being friends
-----
"Take a nice hot bath when you get home and don't dwell on it anymore."
We were standing at the entrance of your apartment building as I had insisted on sending you home. Nodding back at me, you waved before spinning around on your heel and pushing open the glass doors. Watching your retreating back, I had the sudden urge to tell you something.
"Kame!"
"Huh? What is it?"
Turning around to face me, you asked unsure.
Why don't you leave Tanakacchi? There is someone who cherishes you more.
Nonetheless, those words didn't leave my lips. A part of me wanted you to end your relationship with Reina and realize that I have been here all along. But another side of me was afraid that you would run to Sayumin after the breakup. She was so much closer to you as compared to me and I was certain she would treasure you more than Reina. If that happened, you would no longer need me. I would lose the role of being the person whom you could call on at random times to hang out with you.
I would hate for you to find somebody new
Who you really love
Cause it would mean losing you
But am I a fool girl not to say
If I'm always scared I'll lose you anyway
Somehow someway I've got to choose
(Got to choose) No matter if it's win or lose
"Good night."
"Good night Gaki-san."
In the end, all I could muster was an ordinary greeting. Sometimes I really hated myself for being so cowardly. Why couldn't I just come out and say it? Why couldn't I have been the one to tell you about my affections instead of Tanakacchi?
You walked up to the elevator and pressed on the button, not realizing that I hadn't left despite of the frosty winds that I was subjected to while standing out in the street. I stayed until you vanished inside the elevator before I departed.
Now tell me why, why are we still friends
When everything says
We should be more than what we are
And tell me why
Every time I find someone that I like
We always end up just being friends
-----
*Random Melody*
I fished out my cellphone when I heard jingle of my new message alert emit from my cellphone.
Are you on the way home? Let me know when you arrive okay? Oyasumi Gaki-han!
A smile crept onto my face as I read the short message. It consisted of only a few sentences but it was enough for me. You were never someone who relished in sending text messages thus receiving one from you was almost as rare as seeing a meteor shower.
I just entered my house. How is your bath? Don't fall asleep inside the tub again.
Yada Gaki-han! Stop making fun of me. Did you forget what happened at the concert?
You paid for my meals again today as I forgot to bring enough money. Going out with you is better than with my siblings.The screen of my phone lit up for a third time and I let my arm fall back to my side after reading your last message.
Good night for real Gaki-han. My eyelids are getting heavy...
I knew you would undoubtedly have fallen asleep by this time. Raising my head to look at your bedroom window, I saw the lights go out. Your mother must have switched them off after coming in to check on you. You tended to fall asleep leaving everything on.
After another ten minutes of staring at a pitch black window, I at last left the sidewalk which I have been loitering on all this time. I had lied about my whereabouts. While you were snug and warm at home, I had been battling the freezing temperatures as I stood beneath your apartment.
I don't know why I did this every time I saw you home. I just knew I didn't want to be too far away from you. I know I'm being silly to think like this but I couldn't help it. I didn’t want you to see me as a sibling or another good friend.
"Can you ever let me into your life as someone other than a dependable senpai?"
I don't wanna be like your brother
I don't wanna be your best friend
I only wanna be your lover
When will this end?
If I told you that I wanna be in your life?
Then you could be the woman in mine
I didn't realize that I had unknowingly typed that line into my phone. Deciding that it didn't matter since no one would be seeing it, I added another sentence.
I want to be more than a friend to you Kame.
(Why) Why are we just friends?
No sooner had I finished typing that, the sound of screeching tires exploded in my ears and I looked up just in time to see the headlights of a car coming straight at me...
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Happy 22th Birthday Eririn~!
Even though Eri is no longer in MM, it doesn't mean I will stop wishing her happy birthday on my blog. To coincide with her 22th, I've ranked my top 10 photos from her 'Sweet' pb.
I remember not liking the angle of her head on the cover :P But the white lacy bikini was very nice though the bottom seemed slightly loose? XD Those abs were woah.... Kame always had the best body ^^;
Cover
Back
10th
It's all in her eyes...though I won't deny that the black bikini helped too ^^:
9th
I can so imagine her out on a date with her gf, who happens to be Sayu or OD XD And they were quietly staring at her while she admires something in the store window :D
Who knew purple bikinis could be so attractive. And again it's in her expression. This time she looks as though she is saying "I can be a rebel too. I can be just as good a S as I can be M." :P
7th
OH MY GAH! I think Sayu's mind would explode if she saw Eririn lying on the bed like this next to her. Then again, I think anyone would be unable to resist.
How is it that she can have such beautiful eyes? I'm sure the make up helped :P But she is already naturally beautiful.
5th
Is it a coincidence that half of these 10 photos have her in a bikini? XD But she does look good!!
4th
Ahhh this one. I had it as my Aiphone wallpaper sometime this year. And I remember BS asking if it were GakiKame XD Does the turtle bean bag duo look alike?
3rd
NOOOOOOOOO. Having your fingers anywhere near your mouth is a big no-no! It makes people think weird :(
2nd
If I have to name one body part of Eri which I love, it has got to be her abs. Imagine if I had this picture as my laptop wallpaper and sat at a cafe or coffee place and people walked passed when I happened to minimize my windows. Woah.... XD
1st
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