8.35 am on a Monday morning and I'm stuck in the ladies, puking my guts out. After an unidentified period of time, I flush the wc and staggered unsteadily to the sink area. The cold water makes me feel slightly better as I rinsed my mouth and splashed the liquid on my face. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I was shocked to see the extent of my pale skin. On my way back to the office, I run into another colleague who didn't belong to the 'three musketeers' I usually go for lunch break with.
"Are you okay? You look really pale."
Her words sounded echo-y and her face blurry as I blinked to combine the multiple images of her standing before me.
"I'm fine."
Forcing a smile, I sent her on her way and returned to my seat. Inside my cubicle, I take a small sip of warm water hoping that the hot drink would ease the turbulence in my stomach. Unfortunately it didn't and fresh tears threatened to slip from the corners of my eyes.
No! Not now, not here!
These words repeated themselves in my mind as I tore at a piece of tissue to dab at my eyes. I couldn't let anyone see me in such a state or they would ask me what was wrong. I didn't want to explain myself or tell them why I was being so upset. Turning my face towards the computer terminal lined up against the wall, I hid my teary eyes and prayed no one would look for me until I had significantly calmed down.
It was always the same, I would never have anyone by my side when I feel sick or depressed.
The vibration of my cellphone brought my attention to the little device and I picked it up and to read the message that had come in.
How is Kame today? Gaki saw a cute French guy at the airport! He was so gentlemanly.
It was surprising that she would send me a message out of the blue. Tilting my head sideways to glance at my desktop calendar, I realized it was Friday and she was probably on her way home from work.
Kame is unwell and wants to go home. Did you get French guy's number?
You will be knocking off soon right? Nah, Gaki doesn't like guys.
After a couple more messages, she stops replying and I figured she must have arrived home. Gaki, full name Niigaki Risa, is a straight A student. Currently she's also working at a shop set up by her college at the airport to train business students on how to run a retail store. She has to work there once a week so she usually messages me when she is on the train travelling home.
Gaki and I share a weird friendship. We don't speak a lot, as she doesn't reply to text messages often. We hardly even meet since she is a homebody who doesn't like to go out and people. Yet she somehow understands where I'm coming from and on the rare days we manage to hold a decent conversation either through Skype or text messaging, I'm usually telling her about my troubles.
"Eri, you want a lift from me?"
My thoughts were interrupted when I looked up to see the smiley face of a married colleague. Returning her a small smile, I promptly agree and began packing my belongings. Although I've not completed my work, I'm really not feeling well enough to do OT.
-----
On the journey back, the car is silent as neither of us spoke. I feel bad about not engaging in small talk but I'm really too brain dead to say anything. I'll just have to make up for her kind gesture some other time.
As she drops me off near her home, I begin walking to the nearest train station. It's packed as always and whilst I stand on the platform waiting for the next train, thoughts of her enter my mind.
~Flashback~
"Shelter yourself too!"
She says with a laugh as she tries to push my hand such that the umbrella I was supporting also shielded my torso from the falling rain. It was obvious that I had angled the brolly in a way which only kept her dry.
"It's okay. Let's walk faster, or we'll really end up drenched."
We started running towards the nearest building and in the process, our shoulders brushed against each other numerous times.
~End of flashback~
Stepping into my empty home after fighting through the crowds on the train and bus on the rest of the way home, I'm suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of nausea. Dashing for the bathroom, I throw up what little I had eaten for lunch as well as some whitish fluid streaked with red.
Great, this just never ends. Allowing my body to slip down onto the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, I leaned my back against the wall and closed my eyes.
~Flashback #2~
"What are you planning on ordering?"
She looks down at the menu in concentration and pauses for some time before meeting my eyes.
"Katsu-don?"
I chuckled at how she ended her sentence with an unsure tone and waved the server over. Once our orders were taken, we settled down and lapsed into an easy conversation. The minutes flew past and before we knew it, it was late and time for her to go home.
"Bye bye?"
Once again, her reply caused me to grin. Walking her to the train station, I watched her retreating back as she walked towards the escalator. Not realizing that it took longer than necessary for me to tear my eyes away, I turned on my heel and started on my way towards my own destination. It was only the second time without the rest, yet somehow, it felt so right.
~End of flashback~
That night she messaged me. And that was how, everything I once knew began to fall apart...
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