What Next??

I shall just jump right in and ramble on about stuff since I don't know how I should properly "open" this entry. So here goes...

I feel that things would change drastically after Risa is gone. Since I don't follow the newer generations that much, I can't say for sure that there is a voice among those kids which can replace hers. But just imagining it is hard. I really can't see any of them stepping up and filling the void would be leaving. It was hard to fill Eri's shoes, and now it's just ten times worst.

I guess Sayashi would be the one to take over Ai, as how the management has so obviously pushed for. But what about the members who were never the leads? People like KameMame and in future, Sayu? I have to say that things have been different ever since 2010 and it will only get more different.

4+ months left till the bean leaves... then what?? I know I'm gonna be aimless with a gaping space left within me. It's not so easy to let go of something you have been attached to for so long. I've started running this blog in 2008 and in the blink of an eye, it's 2012. To say that I've loved MM for so many years is not a lie, as I've been a mega fan of them even before 2008. I think around 2006 to be exact. Which means I've stayed with a single group for 6 years or more. Believe me, this is a major accomplishment for someone whom they say, has a horrible attention span.

I never expected myself to be so "faithful" and discovering MM and falling in love with them as well as much of H!P through these years made me realise many things. This big group of girls with various personalities brought me much laughter, joy, entertainment and smiles. But they also gave me a lot of heartache, quarrels and troubles. Strange you would think, as why would a girl group lead to so many things? But they did. And if you knew the full (and true) story of what happened to me as I followed MM (and H!P) as a huge fan, you would be stunned at my experiences.

Many times, I have wondered what my life would be like or how would it be different from how I know it if I didn't come across this Japanese girl group. For one, I would definitely be richer, have more space in my room and have made less enemies. I always thought that having a common like meant getting along and having fun together. But when differing opinions and preferences brought about ill feelings and silent distain, it ruined everything. Not to mention when more complicated things came into play. Humans, are funny creatures.

Towards the MM that I know and love, I have regrets. I couldn't attend their concerts in 3 different countries, I couldn't cry my heart out at the graduation concert of a member I love, and I couldn't hold their hands and thank them for all the happy times they brought me.

Why did it have to be May Gaki-san? Why did it have to be you?? If only you and Sayumi could graduate together in October and in a country outside of Japan. Then I would only be left with 1 regret out of the 3.

Alas, life never goes how we want it too. That's why the wise men say, don't rush in, don't get attached, and never ever fall in love.