When You're Gone

The room is silent, the lights off as I sit on the floor at the foot of my bed. Tears start to slip from my eyes and slide down my cheeks. As I tilt my head downwards from looking at the space on my bed where you used to lie, I could feel the cool water land rhythmically on my thighs. I'm crying... alone. I used to feel more comfortable that no one was watching. And you knew to let me be. But now... I miss you being around. I realized that I want you here... with me. As when you are by my side, the days don't feel as long or tiresome.

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

I still remember the last time I saw you like it was yesterday. How you turned away from me with sad brown eyes. As you walked towards the exit of the dressing room in Budokan hall, I knew you were crying. I wanted so much to tell you to stop, to come back and that this wasn't the end. Yet I couldn't bring myself to say those words that I've been hiding deep within my heart.

Do you know how much I need you right now Gaki-san?

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

Now that you're gone, my heart aches with every second that I think of you. I miss your face, your breath, your everything. Why didn't I cherish the times when you would nag at me, when you showed me concern and asked if I was okay.

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

I must be crazy. As I am reminded of you wherever I go, whatever I do. In the kitchen while pouring myself a glass of water, I recall how you spilt your drink all over the counter top and on your hands when I crept up on you and poked you at your side. AI-CHANNNNNNNNNNNNNN! You would whine with the cutest pout as I grinned back at you, only able to reveal my mischievous side with you.

Pushing the crystal glass away, I left it standing on the marble surface as I dragged my feet zombie-like back to my room, the need to quench my thirst no long important. As the door swings open with a soft creak, I notice your pajamas bottom and the tank top that you last wore when you slept over lying in the corner. The green and gray screams out to me, reminding me of how beautiful you looked in them. The material accentuating your curves and taut body. Bending down to pick them up, I bring the soft cotton to my nose, breathing in deeply.

"Come back to me Risa. I was stupid to not realize sooner how perfect we were together."

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do, reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

We could read each others' minds without saying anything. You would understand what I wanted, needed with a single glance or change in expression. I guess I took it all for granted, as I never once told you how much I appreciate all that you're done for me. Perhaps I never thought a day would come when you wouldn't be there for me anymore.

I've never told you how much you mean to me, that the only reason why I could give my best on performances or live my life to the fullest was because you were there for me. I want you Risa, I need you.

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah

And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

I'm no longer like how I used to be. I'm no longer whole. A part of me has died since the day you left. It's as if I've become blind, deaf, when I can't see you or hear you on a daily basis.

I could give everything up just to hold you in my arms again, to be able to bully and smack you on the head. If I could start over, I would tell you... how much you really mean to me and that I loved you and will still love you, for the rest of my life.

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

And when you're gone
All the words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you